Which way to Happyness? (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #55 – Which way to Happyness?

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and Welcome to Week #55!

I’m writing to you from the West Coast…James and I are on our first trip to LA in over two years.  And I have a confession…

…it has not been entirely happy.

To return to the place I first lived and worked out of college, the place I struggled and celebrated my first highs and lows, the place where I made my first adult friends (many of whom are still friends to this day!) — it’s always been a fun trip down memory lane.  But this time things have changed…and I’m not talking about LA.  I’ve changed.  I’m not the same person I was a year ago…and I can feel it HERE more clearly than at home.  Getting away from all the things that make me “Me” just leaves me wondering…who am I, really?

And I need to tell you — that’s a very empty thing, especially now.

But is it weird to say that I kind of like it?

Because it’s causing me to dig deep.

It is the first Friday of the month — and Rob is on my mind.  I had planned to make this post about him — but coming to the West Coast has left me reaching in two directions.  My LA-brain is still reaching backward for Rob — wanting to share the experience with him, struggling anew to compute the reality that he is gone.  My East Coast brain — which has been processing Rob’s death for a year — is facing forward, looking to the horizon, and adjusting to a future “without” him.

Which way to Happyness?

As I was looking back for a picture of Rob for today’s post — I was drawn to this picture I took just yesterday!  That one lone surfboard just waiting for a rider reminded me of him.  At first it made me sad…and then I realized: although Rob is not physically present (and Lord knows I wish he was!), his spirit is felt in each and every moment I remember his absence.  Yes, I can look back at old photos and see what he was…but I can also look forward and see him still, reminding me at every turn to choose Happyness!

This week’s challenge: Which way to Happyness?!  As you move through your week, and you encounter those damned-if-you-do and damned-if-you-don’t moments — ask yourself, “Which way to Happyness?”  Sometimes Happyness isn’t the easiest, or safest, most popular, or even most sensical option.  Those are valid questions to ask, for sure.  But be sure to ask yourself which way to Happyness, too.

“My giant goes with me wherever I go.”  (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

10/2/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church