Week #315 – “Roll Me Away!” (Listen to your longings this week!)

Good Afternoon, Everyone — and Happy Friday!

Many of you know that my partner Jim’s father was accidentally hit and killed last week while crossing the street in his beloved Jersey Shore town. The same town where this photo was taken…and many good memories were made.

Jim Sr. always saw to that!

As I was reflecting on all the great memories we made there, I was reminded of this post from Week #161. It was a full year after our move to Los Angeles and I was still taking care of some long-overdue to-dos. And while I had gotten quite a few important and somewhat urgent things done — one thing slipped through the cracks completely: my motorcycle endorsement. And I wasn’t happy about it.

(And now, I’m REALLY not happy about it!)

I had always wanted to get a motorcycle license. And while many of my practice hours were logged with Rob by my side, Jim Sr. was the one who made it happen. He was the first to get me ON a bike. The first to show me how to walk it gently up and down the street and how to roll the throttle and practice turns on his quiet little cul de sac. He let Rob take me out for practice run after practice run on those sandy shore roads. And in the end, he gifted Jim and I with a rider’s education course to make sure we really knew how to ride safely (in November…the coldest class EVER!).

When I moved to California in 2016, I had a year to take the written test again in order to transfer the endorsement.  The year passed. I never retested. The endorsement went away.

I know that in the grand scheme of things…this isn’t important.  There was some really sad, complicated, and important issues going on in our world when I first wrote this post…and they are still going on now.  But it was my brother (and Jim Sr.) who taught me to ride.  Who helped me achieve a life-long dream of getting my license and riding solo!  That “M” represented an awful lot of Rob…and Jim Sr.

And now they’re both gone.

And while there is part of me that’s REALLY not happy about the fact that I let my endorsement slip…there is another part that knows I will take another class, I will retest, and I will ride again!

And I’ll think of BOTH of them as I “Roll Me Away!”

Try as we might…we can’t be perfectly happy all the time.  Longing is part of the human condition…it’s what keeps us dreaming, keeps us envisioning, keeps us journeying to find out what’s beyond that next bend in the road…and then over those hills…and then out further along that plain…

…and, once again Bob Seger’s words will come flooding back: “Next time…we’ll get it right!”

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead:  When you come across something you “aren’t happy about” — don’t just settle for unhappiness!  Identify the longing…and use it to get focused on what you want.  And it doesn’t hurt to add a theme song to inspire you!  When I was leaving my corporate job, I listened to Boston’s “Don’t Look Back” every single day on my way to work to remind me that my future was AHEAD of me…not behind me!  Now, once again, it will be Bob Seger’s “Roll Me Away” as I set off to recover my endorsement…this year or next!

Whatever it is for you…listen to your longings! (And tell me your theme song in the comments!)

Spread Happyness — listen to your longings this week!

9/25/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #314 – Welcome Fall! (Celebrate the first days of Autumn!)

(This topic is an annual favorite — and always worth revisiting!)

Greetings All — and Happy Friday!

The Autumnal Equinox will occur at 3:30am ET this Tuesday, September 22nd.  That’s right…just in case you need a reminder: it is September. And, as far as I know, Fall is still the next season on the calendar! (I won’t tempt 2020 to do something crazy with that!)

The equinox is the exact moment when the sun shines equally on both sides of the Equator.  The word itself means “equal night” — as these days are marked by equal parts sunlight and darkness.

And for a moment — perfect balance. (Can you imagine that?)

Normally, the “end” of Summer is a sad time: light fades, the air cools, summer flowers surrender. This year-of-all-years, I know more than one beach bum who isn’t sorry to see summer go, or fall, or winter for that matter! Just beam us up into 2021, right?

Whether you’re on Team Summer, Team Fall, or Team Anything-But-2020 — I hope you managed to make some good memories this summer.  But if not, don’t despair.  Another 13-week season starts Tuesday!  A new beginning, a new quarter, and for many a new year ahead!

This equinox gives us the perfect opportunity to step back, take stock, re-balance — and to finish the year strong!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: WELCOME FALL!  Welcome this season of harvest, storage, and preparation by turning inward for a moment: take stock in yourself, make room for only what’s necessary, and set a goal or direction for the next three months — no matter what life is going to throw at you.  The Winter Solstice is thirteen weeks away. The next quarter is going to pass one way or another…and soon 2020 will be gone.

Ask yourself: how do you want to spend this season?!

Some ideas:

1. DECORATE — this is the easiest way to mark the change of seasons.  Don’t wait for the leaves to turn or for Halloween decorations to appear (in some stores, they’re already gone!). Get out your scarecrows and pumpkins and give yourself a visual cue that a new season has arrived.  WELCOME IT!
2. CLEAN — there is a lot of talk of “Spring” cleaning at the Vernal Equinox — but Fall has it’s own cleaning and decluttering rituals too.  As we turn our focus inward to our homes — it makes sense that we would declutter and clean in preparation for the indoor months ahead.  Use this time to get rid of things you no longer need — and make room for the things that will sustain and nurture you through the dark and cold of winter.  MAKE ROOM FOR IT!
3. SET NEW GOALS — Just like cleaning and decluttering makes room in our homes, cleaning and decluttering of the mind makes room in our psyche.  Every thirteen weeks we are given the opportunity to start a “new season.”  Start this Fall with a little quiet time to consider what you’d like to accomplish by the END of this year, what obligations or habits you need to shed to make that possible, and what new resources you may need to help you get there!  DREAM ABOUT IT!
4. PLAN FALL FUN — NOW is the time to look at your fall calendar (October/November/December) and find a way to continue with the activities you like best.  Harvest festivals, haunted houses, and crowded football games may be out this year…but apple picking, foliage tours, and that one last Indian Summer day at the shore are all sure things! Think about the things that bring you joy this time of year and find a way to get to a YES. Then PLAN IT!
5. START TALKING ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS NOW — This one is a little controversial because nobody likes to be rushed into the holidays…but especially this year-of-all-years, waiting until November 27th to start talking about how the holidays are going to look is too late!  Don’t let restrictions steal your JOY this year. Just like the Whos Down in Whoville…Christmas is coming one way or another! GET OUT AHEAD OF IT!

At the very least — set aside time this weekend to think about what you need to feel happy in the 13 weeks ahead!

Remember — it takes a happy person to Spread Happyness!

Spread Happyness — share your favorite Autumn rituals and activities in the comments!

9/18/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and Welcome to Week #313!

Six years ago on September 5th our world changed forever — and on September 8th, SpreadHappyness was born.

It seems like forever ago and just yesterday all at the same time. And today of all days (9/11) — I feel all the various parts of my life colliding: my youth, my age, my life in New York City, my life in California, my life before Rob, my life after Rob, my life in a Global Pandemic.

A lot has happened, especially in this past year, to put A LOT of distance between life “then” and life “now.” And with that distance, sometimes go the memories. Even still, six years later, Rob feels very present to me through all the people that knew him and loved him and enjoyed his company!

So let me take a moment once again to say THANK YOU to each and every one of you who have logged on, followed along, shared your thoughts, supported the effort, and above all — who’ve SPREAD HAPPYNESS this past year!!!  

Because I know it’s not always easy.

It’s not easy to smile, wave big and say hello like you mean it when you’re grumpy, or sad, or struggling.

(And that’s just Week #1 and #2!)

It’s not easy to reach out, to lend a hand, to mentor or encourage someone when your world feels like it’s falling apart.

It’s not easy to plan ahead, to set goals, or to try something new when your heart has been broken by disappointment…again and again and yet again.

Shoot…NOTHING has been easy in this year-of-all-pandemic-years!

Six years and 313 posts later, I know that to some people Happyness seems simple…maybe even too simple. But let me be the first to tell you, it’s not easy. It’s hard work. And it is SO necessary! Because the reality is, some days (or even years) the world gets the better of us…

…and other times, Happyness wins!

How do I know? I started this website on September 8th…THREE DAYS after my brother took his last, labored breath in a small, quiet hospital room in New York City.

At that time, this is what I wrote…and this is what I believe to this day (it’s still the contents of my “About” page):

SpreadHappyness.com was created in honor of my beloved brother and best friend, Robert Church Jr., who died on Friday, September 5th after a short battle with cancer.  He was 40 years old.

It is my wish to identify and carry forward (through weekly blogposts/challenges) the torch of Rob’s legacy — which I believe was his natural ability to spread happiness to anyone who was lucky enough to cross his path.  If you knew Rob, you already know this to be true.  And I bet you have a story all your own about something Rob said or did — maybe even 20 years ago — that continues to make you happy today!  I want to hear those stories!!!

If you didn’t get to meet Rob, let me introduce you.  I pledge to deliver a little dose of him to you every Friday morning (at least) via this blog.  Because cancer is not the only thing that can spread.  Happiness can take on a life of it’s own too!  It will be up to us to carry his light forward by sharing our stories, living his lessons, and spreading happiness to those who are now lucky enough to cross our paths!

With great love and affection for you all…
Grace (aka “Rob’s sister!”)

So if you didn’t get to meet Rob…let me introduce you! 🙂

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Welcome to Spread Happyness!!! Spread Happyness is not about being Happy. It’s about “Spreading” Happyness by making choices that uplift and elevate others…not tear them down. When you feel the world getting to you this week — or better yet, when you see it getting to someone else — roll up your sleeves and get to work. There is Happyness to Spread!!!

To life! To love!! To Happyness!!!

Spread Happyness — please share your thoughts in the comments!

9/11/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #312 – Do you know where your Happyness is?

Good Morning, All! And Happy…well…

…that’s exactly what I’m here to talk about this week. Because it’s the first Friday in September and you know what that means:

Do you know where your Happyness is?

It’s a question I’ve been asking myself for the past ten weeks. TEN WEEKS! A full two months since my last post.

Did you even notice?

Probably not…because shortly after my last post our world went completely bonkers (as if it wasn’t totally bonkers before that). Civil unrest, protests, riots, tornadoes, hurricanes, fires, earthquakes, floods, and yes…even more election drama…have saturated our news.

I have to be honest with you…week after week, it just seemed like there was no room for Happyness in those equations.

And as the weeks went on, and some of us went back into lockdown while others openly continued their bad behavior…my heart started to get a little bitter. Was the pursuit of Happyness even worth it? What was the point? Was it even appropriate to put forth an unapologetically positive perspective while there was so much legitimate anger, sadness, grief, and unrest in the world?

The answer I’ve come to is…YES! (And I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to come around to it!)

How do I know?

Because in the absence of personal interactions I’ve come to realize the tremendous value of anyone who is willing to lift someone up, encourage someone, smile, wave, and say hello like they mean it.

Because as I spent more time on social media I came to realize how refreshing, encouraging, and inspiring people are who are DETERMINED to find the yes, see the positive (even in the negative), and make something out of a big fat nothing!

Because as I’ve endured the past nearly six months of shutdown, I’ve come to realize how truly important it is to train ourselves to be a source of positivity, encouragement, and yes — even Happyness — in OTHER people’s lives, especially in the bad times.

Because I had to remind myself that I started this website at a time just like that. Six years ago tomorrow my brother Rob succumbed to a cancer he didn’t deserve. A beautiful, healthy, vibrant, fun forty year old struck down in just a few month’s time. At that moment, when nothing made sense and my world was upside down, I created something to Spread Happyness.

If the past ten weeks of silence have taught me anything…it’s that Happyness is needed now more than ever. Happyness in hard times, in sad times, in grief, in pain, in anger, in frustration, in flat out disappointment — just as much as in the fun and easy times.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: It’s the first Friday in September…do you know where your Happyness is? If you’ve lost touch with your Happyness over the past six months, six weeks, or six days…you are not alone. The world has had its way with us a bit. But it’s time to reclaim our place…turn the page…and set a new course. It’s time to get back to basics! (Which is where I’ll start all over again next week!)

So yes, please join me in saying “Good Morning, All — and Happy Friday!”

Spread Happyness — It’s Friday, September 4th: do you know where your Happyness is?

9/4/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com