Week #302 – Find the Cracks (…and Flourish!)

Good Morning, All – and Happy Friday!

As re-opening continues across the country, a strange phenomenon is occurring…many people are feeling MORE limited now than during the shut down. 

How can that be?

Well, for one, during the shut-down closures were crystal clear — and therefore more easily acceptable. There was a long list of things we simply could not do — which made it easier to focus on the short list of things we could do!  So there was lots of decluttering, baking, home improvement projects, and maybe some writing.  Things that under normal circumstances, we didn’t always “have time for.” 

Now that things — and options — are opening up, our choices are opening up too. And that requires cognitive decision making on our part: should we, shouldn’t we, is it smart to do this, safe to do that, wiser to wait and see, etc?

So now, without the simple certainty of “can’t do’s” — we are suddenly overwhelmed with uncertain and complex consideration of could-dos, if-onlys, and we’ll sees. 

The irony is, limitations sometimes set us free to focus our energy on what matters most right in front of us. Like the weed in the photo. There’s only one way…and that’s up, through that crack in the pavement. Less than ideal circumstances for sure…but he’s going for it!

Our longing for “normal” is totally, well…normal. Just the thought of it  — even with whatever troubles existed before — brings a sense of ease and relief. If we could just get things back to the way they once were…everything would be ok. Right?

I don’t know. There’s a lot of hyperbole about “normal” not having been so great in the first place and instead looking to a brighter, more clearer, future. Only time will tell. In the meantime, there is a crack in the pavement.  

We might long for an open field…but for the now the sun is shining on this spot. Find the openings, whatever they are…and take root. Grow as tall and strong and proud as you can right now, right where you are, with the resources you have.

Find the cracks…and flourish!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Find the cracks…and flourish! Whatever limitations you are facing (and I am too, trust me)…try to embrace them, and fend off overwhelm. Just because everything is “opening up” doesn’t mean you have to!  Find the cracks that suit you, that feel safe to you, that nurture you and your family…and flourish!

Spread Happyness — Find the Cracks (…and Flourish!)

6/26/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #300 (+1) – Give Yourself (and others) Some Grace

As I approached the 300th week of my blog this year, I kept thinking to myself, “Wow, I should really plan something special!”  Each week, as I ticked off the weeks, I’d think to myself once again…”300…I should really do something special!”

I was going to post a special picture, announce a new Facebook group, maybe (finally) talk about the book I’m writing.

Something SPECIAL!!!

And then you know what happened?  Quarantine Brain!  In the flurry of news and re-opening activities last week, I forgot it was Friday!

So I woke up at 2am last Friday morning (when Jim decided to get up for a snack) and the thought occurred to me, tomorrow is Friday!  Week 300!  And you didn’t DO anything!

I was immediately wide awake with disappointment, guilt, and regret. How could I forget it was Friday?  (His day?)  How could I forget my blog?  And how could I forget #300?!

And after I realized that no one would probably notice (or care)…I gave myself some grace. It’s corny for me to use this word because it’s my name, and it’s a word I avoid just for that reason, but it’s a good word in this situation. Give yourself some grace. 

And it’s good advice. Because as we all start to get back to life, get out in the world, and back to each other…one thing is for sure, we’re gonna need lots of grace. 

You may find that your social skills got rusty, maybe you curse a little easier, have trouble concentrating on a conversation, or find your editing system is a little off as you blurt out something that may not have made it out of your mouth previously. 

Give yourself some grace. 

You may find others impatient, rude, or unkind. It’s a good thing to remember that they, too, have been cooped up for months dealing with who knows what at home without the escapes of work, or school, or outside entertainment. 

Give yourself (and them) some grace. 

You may find the world as we knew it struggling to figure out this new post-quarantine thing…restaurants may be slow, operations may not be smooth, your favorite gym or studio may not have it all figured out yet because the theory of reopening is much different than the actual re-opening. 

Give the world some grace. 

It’s helpful to remember that for most of us, this is our first pandemic. We are living through a significant piece of history — and hopefully it’s never repeated again. 

Give yourself (and others) some grace. 

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Give yourself (and others) some grace!  As we move to re-open, wherever you are, try to remember that this was everyone’s first pandemic. The experience will likely be vastly different from person to person. Give yourself time and space to adjust. And most of all, give yourself (and others) some grace!

I know I had to!

Spread Happyness – Give Yourself (and others) Some Grace!

6/19/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #300 – Next Sunday is Father’s Day! (So remember: the best gifts start with an “F!”)

In early May, I like to give you a heads-up that Mother’s Day is just around the corner.  Well — June is once again underway, and we’ve all been more than a little distracted, so I wanted to take another moment this year to repeat my little public service announcement to those of you who are celebrating Father’s Day:

PLAN AHEAD!

But before you run out (Ha! Let’s be real…jump online) and buy another necktie or coffee mug or singing fish, take a moment to stop and think about what the man in your life really wants.

(No…not that!)

The other things!

Just like the moms I polled for Mother’s Day, I asked the guys:
What is it that you REALLY want/wish for on Father’s Day?

I have to be honest, getting answers was like pulling teeth.  While over 50 ladies responded within hours of my Mother’s Day question, I had to ask the guys three separate times — and then only received answers when another guy intervened on my behalf.  (Why is that, guys?!)

Like the ladies, most guys don’t want something that can be bought in a store (which is a good thing this year, since so many places are still closed or offering limited shopping).  And while staying at home or doing nothing may have made the top three in prior years…THIS year may be decidedly different.

Still, it might help to start with the “Four F’s” when discussing how the men in your life want to spend THIS Father’s Day:

FOOD, FUN, FAMILY, and a FRIGGIN’ NAP!

FOOD: From morning until night — most dads responded with some sort of food request: breakfast on the deck, donuts, waffles, burgers on the grill, ice cream in the fridge, and beer in the cooler.  Rather than buy your dad something on Amazon, head to the local grocery store instead and pick him up the makings of a king-sized breakfast (eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, waffles, OJ, and coffee), a deli lunch (fresh bread, sandwich fixings, side salads, chips, cookies, and deli pickles), or a Grill-fest dinner (burgers and dogs, ribs and chicken, or steaks and potatoes).  Make sure you back it up with his favorite dessert — you know, the one just for him (even if the kids don’t like it!).

FUN: Since ballgames, movies, and inside activities are limited right now, outside activities are making a comeback! An outing on the golf course, a day at the beach, or a trip to the woods are all safe bets this year. Dads do want to have fun!  (As long as they’re with the ones they love!)

FAMILY: In almost every category (except one, see below) — the dads I heard from all wanted to spend time with their families!  Laugher, cuddles, and a few “I love you, dads” don’t hurt either!

THE NAP: Moms aren’t alone in their request for a little extra sleep!  Napping was the number one response I received from dads, too!  Extra sleep goes a LONG way!  Make sure you get some on Father’s Day!  😉

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Father’s Day is June 21st!  Do you know what the man in your life really wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Let HIM create the honey-do list for the day!  Work out a list that includes things each member of the family can check off: food, family, fun, and that all important NAP!  Just like Mother’s Day, the most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Don’t leave things to the last minute.  And if it is a necktie or another coffee mug — wear it or drink from it in good health!

[A big THANK YOU to all the Dreamers & Builders who took the time to respond to my poll — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share YOUR Father’s Day ideas in the comments!

[This post originally appeared on Week #91.]

6/12/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #299 – Not sure what to do? (Reach out!)

Greetings, All — and, well…yes, it is a Friday.

I have to be honest, I didn’t want to post anything this week — I just wanted to LISTEN.

So I searched my own blog — 298 posts in all — to find the word “listen.” And I stumbled across this…from Week #159 in September of 2017.

And somehow, the words were a perfect reminder to myself…so I thought I’d share them again with you. Here goes…

From Week #159:

If you’ve felt overwhelmed, insufficient, and distracted lately — I want you to know you are not alone!

The issues that our world is facing right now are intense and varied and coming at us at a rapid pace.  It has been enough to throw the most balanced people I know off balance, the most focused people off course, and caused the most compassionate people I know to throw up their hands.

Frustration is a slippery slope…it leads to bitterness, resentment, and disempowerment.  (In other words, all kinds of un-happyness.)

When the world’s, or the country’s, or even your town’s problems seem beyond your grasp — reach out and grab hold of the hand (or hands) that are within your reach!

• Our families — while we are busy keeping up with world news on our screens, there may be a person (spouse/kid/parent/sibling/etc.) right in front of us that needs our attention.  LOOK UP!!!
• Our neighbors — while we debate over how best to help those in affected communities around the globe, there is a neighbor on our street that needs help with the garbage, the lawn, or a ride to an appointment.  LOOK AROUND!
• Our friends — someone you know and love is probably struggling with a life change, a career challenge, sickness, or crisis.  LOOK THEM UP — and check in on them!
• Our coworkers — while we’re busy gabbing about the latest news and events in the break room, one of our coworkers may be secretly struggling with something.  LOOK THEM IN THE EYE — and listen to their stories!
• Our communities — each one of our communities has needs that only we can uniquely address because we live there.  Whether it’s a local school, place of worship, building/association, union/guild, or organization — LOOK AHEAD for the people within our reach who can benefit from our assistance, support, and participation.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: REACH OUT!  The second you are feeling overwhelmed and under-equipped to take on the biggest problems this week — shift your gaze to the people within arm’s reach!  Leverage your time, talent, and compassion on the people right in front of you.  It will make a tremendous and very real difference to them — and with practice, build confidence in ourselves to take on the bigger problems in the world!

Be the source — Spread Happyness!!!

Spread Happyness — reach out and help someone this week!

6/5/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com