[This post is a call back to Week #24 — which honors and remembers Gregory Pellinger, a Hopatcong High School student who lost his life in a motor vehicle accident five years ago in 2015.]

Week #285 – Keeping it “Shiny side up!”

I had someone ask me this week how I stay so positive.

My answer is…I don’t.

I’ve been through enough to know that bad things happen. Period. Doesn’t matter if you’re a good person or a bad person. So if a day is a pretty good day…then it sure makes sense to make the most of it, because the shit may hit the fan tomorrow (and I’ll wish I had today’s worries back instead!).

“Keep it shiny side up.” 

My brother, Rob, taught me to ride a motorcycle.  He was a great teacher and a very careful rider: never sloppy, cocky, or reckless.  He knew full well the dangers associated with riding…and he always said to me in a somewhat serious tone whenever we’d head out: “Keep it shiny side up, Grace.”

As so it is with life.  There are two sides to every event.  There is the dark side, the gritty and very real underside, the side where the rubber meets the road.  But there is a shiny side, too.  The upside.  The majestic and beautiful side.

In the wake of bad news — I find myself watching for the outpouring of love and support (and leadership) that inevitably follows. The leadership I witness — whether it be students, teachers, friends, family, or community — is always the shiny side of an event.  

While one family mourns…many move in to help.  While friends struggle to understand…others show strength.  While a town comes to its knees in grief…a community carries it through.

I know this to be true myself.  I’m reminded regularly of what it meant to me and my family to have an entire town stand with us when the unthinkable, the unbearable, and the still unbelievable happened.

And I know full well what it might mean to other families in the wake of a loss or shock of bad news.

“Keep it shiny side up” acknowledges the darkness…but insists on the light.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: When faced with a situation or event that seems negative, bleak, or dire — make a conscious effort to find the shiny side, as well.  Is there an opportunity for strength, for a challenge, for organization, for leadership, for a fresh idea, or for something only you can uniquely offer? Be part of the solution…and “keep it shiny side up.”

Is a bad situation calling YOU to shine your brightest this week?

Spread Happyness — and share your thoughts in the comments!

2/28/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #284 – What difference does 15 minutes make? (Check out this math!)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!!!

Earlier this week, I was reminded of the “cumulative effect” of time. It was something I first heard Jess Itzler (Marquis Jet, Coconut Water, Living with a Seal) talk about last year.

And I feel like it’s worth mentioning again…because time is our greatest non-renewable asset. It is, simply put, life itself. And we can use it — or lose it — fifteen minutes at a time.

What difference does 15 minutes make? Keep reading…and find out!

In Jess’s instance, he was talking about how getting up a few hours earlier for over a decade has added a few extra “years” of effort overall to his life.

I know, I know…another uber-successful entrepreneur talking about how early he gets up! But then I started to do the math using only 15 minute increments:

• 15 minutes a day, times six days a week, is an hour and a half.
• In one month, that’s a total of six hours (roughly…please don’t muss my math!).
• In three months, that’s 18 hours.
• In six months, that 36 hours (or three 12-hour days).
• In a year — that’s SIX (very long and very full) DAYS.

SIX DAYS!!!

The math blew me away! Imagine what we could accomplish in 12 hours straight for six days in a row. Now imagine there’s no rest breaks. No reprieve. How much would we really get accomplished?! And how exhausted might we be?! And, maybe more important, what could we do with that six days each year instead?!

What if we doubled it to a half hour (two full weeks a year)? Or an hour (four full weeks a year)?

Many of us (myself included) long to take a full week (or month) off to devote purely to a project, to ourselves, or to someone or something outside ourselves. If that seems a little out of reach right now, think about how you might achieve the same result in smaller, daily bites of time. It really does add up!

After all…you’re spending it anyway!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: What difference does fifteen minutes make? You do the math! Think about a project, person, or purpose that you wish you could devote an entire week of your year to…then consider where you could find just fifteen minutes (within your day as it exists right now) to chip away at that dream!

PS: This also means that every fifteen minutes we waste on a daily basis (oversleeping, scrolling, arguing, complaining, engaging in the unwin-able, or otherwise beating my head against a wall) adds up to one full week of my year…of doing NOTHING productive or in particular. If we wouldn’t spend a week doing it, why spend even fifteen minutes? 🙂

SpreadHappyness — spread it out (fifteen minutes at a time)!

2/21/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #283 – “I believe in you!” (Encourage someone today!)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

I hope you all enjoyed a “Rob Church Kinda Day” this week!

I’m running out of daylight here on the West Coast and I was looking back at some favorite posts. I came across this one from Week #74...the week Spread Happyness was featured in a coloring book! So here’s a look back…and a little reminder:

I believe in you! (Now go encourage someone today!)

To recap: Spread Happyness was featured in a coloring book back in 2016. I had interviewed Scott Cuzzo of SpryMind in November 2015 as part of my “Happyness in Action” series.  Scott spreads happiness by creating coloring books that are good for adults of all ages and genders.  His most recent release at that time, “Believe!”, featured over two-dozen positive quotes and thoughts on the word “Believe” — including one from yours truly!

At the time of the release, I had been traveling for an entire month — away from home and my work routines.  Stripped of all the things that were keeping me focused, busy, on purpose, and pleasantly distracted. I was left with an abundance of time to be out in the world, and honestly, it just made me miss Rob more!

It was enough to make me want to get back on a plane and head home.

But I made myself stay…reminded as I was in October that if I can sit with it long enough, there was presence in the absence. There still is.  In every new experience, there is a painful reminder that he is gone for good. I cannot text him or call, cannot share the latest laugh, or ridiculousness, or Super Bowl commentary. Yet my relationship with him somehow continues.

Even five-plus years later.

It is a rock and a hard place.  Which reminds me of the coloring page that Scott drew for my quote, and my own interpretation of his drawing.  To me it was a rock — buried in a pile of other rocks — perhaps looking for a way out, or a way to the top, or encouraging another rock to do what seems impossible: BELIEVE!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: BELIEVE IN SOMEONE!!!  Rob loved to encourage people.  Even if he didn’t always believe in himself — he always took time to believe in others.  If you know someone who’s between a rock and a hard place — take time to say “I believe in you!”  Send them a note, share this page, or sit down and color with them while they sort it all out!

And if it’s you that’s feeling discouraged this week…then this post is for you!  “I believe in you!”

Spread Happyness…Encourage someone today!  Share your stories in the comments!

2/14/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

(To learn more about Scott Cuzzo: visit him on Facebook (facebook.com/sprymind), browse his coloring books on Amazon, or contact him directly at scott@sprymind.com.)

Week #282 – It Takes 30 Seconds to Change the World: Smile, Wave, Say Hello, and Ask “How are you doing?”

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

It’s the first Friday in February — and Rob’s birthday month — so I’m going back to basics and revisiting the everyday, ordinary stuff so many of us continue to miss the most about him: his big wave that you could see from a mile away, his voice and unique way of saying hello, his easy smile and laugh, and his genuine interest in hearing how a person was doing (even when it wasn’t great).

I was reminded of these basics this past week when an acquaintance from home posed an interesting question on Facebook:

"If someone gifted you $5.6 million dollars 💸but you HAD to use it for a 30-second Super Bowl 🏈commercial, 🖥what would you say?" (Megan Faulkner - Director of Student Ministries, Ocean Grove Church)

As answers started rolling in about world peace, feeding the hungry, saving the animals, and living like Jesus — I thought of the other people in that imaginary room. So much of our current culture (and political climate) is stealing away our attention from INSIDE our four walls. My thought: turn to the people in the room with you and look them in the eye, tell them you love them, share a laugh, a joke, a smile, a hug, call them by name — just SEE them and give them the most valuable thing you have to offer at any given moment: your attention.

Which reminded me that Happyness isn’t rocket science…it’s in the most basic of things.  And they are all ours for the giving…any time…free of charge (no $5.6M price tag here)!

It only takes 30 seconds to:

1. Wave Big
2. Smile
3. Say Hello Like You Mean It
4. Ask: How are you doing?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: GET BACK TO BASICS!  It’s very easy to skip the basics and get right into the issues that are top of mind right now.  And while those issues are valid and important and worthy of discussion — they aren’t always the things that connect us to the people nearest and dearest to us. (And in some cases, they might actually divide us.)  So as you encounter others this week, remember to smile, wave, say hello, and ask “How are you doing?” Because it only takes 30 seconds to change the world: YOURS!!!

Spread Happyness — Get Back to Basics and Connect!

PS: Happy Birthday in Heaven, Bud! Every day that goes by only makes us miss you and love you more!!!

2/7/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

PPS: Thanks to Megan Faulkner for permission to share her post! Megan is a speaker, writer, and full-time ringleader to Ocean Grove’s favorite circus: Student Ministries! You can learn more about Megan at her website: www.meganefaulkner.com.