“Oh, the places you’ll go…” (Photo credit: Grace Church)
Week #246 – It’s Graduation Season! (What’s the best/worst advice for grads?)
Tomorrow is June 1st…and you know what that means!
It’s graduation season! (And time for my annual poll for the best/worst advice for grads!)
A quick stop in the greeting card aisle is going to render some pretty trite advice:
Follow your dreams…
Find your calling…
Pursue your passion…
My partner, James, and I often joke that there should be a “realistic” greeting card section with blunt advice, obvious statements, and realistic responses to really hard situations (“Heard your cat died…that sucks!”).
Why is it that we need to talk in hyperbole when wishing students well for the future? Why not think about what we needed to hear — or wouldn’t listen to — when we were in that same position ourselves?
Our world is moving faster than ever. Today’s graduates have more options than any other generation before. Their world is much bigger and wide open than any other time. They were born into the internet, social media, and missions to Mars. There’s no telling what opportunities or challenges the next year — let alone ten years — will hold for them.
And yet, some things will remain the same: their secret wishes for themselves, that thing that lights them up on the inside, the values they hold most dear. In short…their “why.”
So…rather than give vague advice and pleasantries, why not share what you really know?
Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Share what you really know! What is the best (or worst) advice for graduates? What was it that you needed to hear — or didn’t listen to — when you were graduating? Can you find a way to talk about these things with a recent grad — without talking down to them? They are more overwhelmed than you think. Most might be relieved just to have someone truly interested in helping them build their future, rather than just telling them “how it is.” This week, reach out and share what you really know: the good, the bad, and even the obvious!
My best advice? Our prognosis is all the same: our days are numbered. Big moments or little — do your best to make them count.
Spread Happyness — share your best (or worst) graduation advice in the comments!
Week #245 – REMINDER: Keep the “Memorial” in Memorial Day!
This post has been an annual repeat — because it’s always a good reminder to keep the “Memorial” in Memorial Day!
Greetings, All — and Happy Friday!!!
We are coming up on another Memorial Day Weekend — and there is no doubt that you’ll (once again) see a lot of commentaries about Memorial Day this weekend.
Well here’s one more — but it may not be what you think!
Memorial Day, for certain, is a day set aside to remember those who died serving our country. But before it was called “Memorial Day” — it was called “Decoration Day” because it was a day when families reunited at burial locations to “decorate” the graves of their fallen. And because many people traveled very far to get there — they would relish the opportunity to visit and reconnect with relatives, usually accompanied by a pot-luck or picnic supper nearby.
So…it seems our modern traditions of family reunions and barbeques are not really that far off.
It’s the REMEMBERING (and DECORATING) that we sometimes miss!
Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Put the MEMORIAL back in Memorial Day! Enjoy your family, the nice weather, and the freedom we have — just remember to REMEMBER! This may mean simply raising a flag, bringing a note or flowers to a grave of one who lost his/her life in service, or writing a name in the sand for all to see. You could make a donation, plant a tree, or lay a wreath at the base of a statue. Even after the day is past, the flowers fade, or the ocean wipes the shore clean — you never know how long your tribute will stick to the walls of someone else’s memory!
How do you keep the MEMORIAL in Memorial Day?!
Spread Happyness — share your thoughts or ideas in the comments!
Week #244 – What difference could 15 minutes make? (Check out this math!)
Earlier this week, I was listening to Jess Itzler (Marquis Jet, Coconut Water, Living with a Seal) talk about the “cumulative effect” of time…and, while it seems a little off the topic of Happyness, I felt like it was worth mentioning here today.
In his instance, he was talking about how getting up a few hours earlier for over a decade has added a few extra “years” of effort overall to his life.
I know, I know…another uber-successful entrepreneur talking about how early he gets up! But then I started to do the math using only 15 minute increments:
15 minutes a day, times six days a week, is an hour and a half.
In one month, that’s a total of six hours (roughly…please don’t muss my math!).
In three months, that’s 18 hours.
In six months, that 36 hours (or three 12-hour days).
In a year — that’s SIX (very long and very full) DAYS.
SIX DAYS!!!
The math blew me away! Imagine what we could accomplish in 12 hours straight for six days in a row. Now imagine there’s no rest breaks. No reprieve. How much would we really get accomplished?! And how exhausted might we be?! And, maybe more important, what could we do with that six days each year instead?!
What if we doubled it to a half hour (two full weeks a year)? Or an hour (four full weeks a year)?
Many of us (myself included) long to take a full week (or month) off to devote purely to a project, to ourselves, or to someone or something outside ourselves. If that seems a little out of reach right now, think about how you might achieve the same result in smaller, daily bites of time. It really does add up!
After all…you’re spending it anyway!
Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead:What difference could fifteen minutes make?! You do the math! Think about a project, person, or purpose that you wish you could devote an entire week of your year to…then consider where you could find just fifteen minutes (within your day as it exists right now) to chip away at that dream!
PS: This also means that every fifteen minutes I waste on a daily basis (oversleeping, scrolling, arguing, complaining, engaging in the unwin-able, or otherwise beating my head against a wall) adds up to one full week of my year…of doing NOTHING productive or in particular. So now I know: if I wouldn’t spend a week doing it, why spend even fifteen minutes? 🙂
SpreadHappyness — spread it out (fifteen minutes at a time)!
Week #243 – “Take care of yourself!” (Especially on Mother’s Day)
Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 12th! If you haven’t made plans yet, don’t panic. Last week, I posted a dozen ideas (that didn’t include reservations) from a survey of what over 50 REAL MOMS told me they REALLY wanted on Mother’s Day.
And if you are one of the ones NOT looking forward to Mother’s Day…I promised this week would be for you!
So I’m re-posting this message again — because for many women, Mother’s Day is not a happy day. For some…it is a day of mixed emotions. And if this is you…please read on, and know you are not alone!
Mother’s Day and Mixed Emotions
Many of the women I exchanged ideas with reported feeling mixed emotions on Mother’s Day. Issues of infertility or infant death, the loss of parents or children at any age, disconnection from living parents or children, disagreements among family members, decline of elderly parents, or disappointments in childhood or childrearing — they all come front and center on a day when it seems like “everyone” else is out celebrating with their perfect and loving families.
If you feel this way, please know you are not alone.
There are many articles circulating about what to do when you can’t, won’t, or don’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day. The bottom line is this…and it’s in my own mother’s words:
“Take care of yourself.”
These are tough words to hear when you feel victimized, bitter, or powerless. They’re more like a bed of nails than a soft place to fall — trust me, I know. But they are true.
Because if you won’t take care of you…then who else will?
In my original survey, many women reported mixed feelings on Mother’s Day. Their advice? Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself and your future!
Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: “Take care of yourself!” Mother’s Day is a great day to remind each of us that “mothering” is an age-old practice. And while one woman may be have brought you into this world (and maybe even another brought you up)…all that she taught you, good and bad, instructs how you carry and deliver yourself your entire life! If Mother’s Day is a struggle for you — do what you need to do to take care of yourself this year!
And take care of others, too — because everyone needs a mom sometime!
Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!
Week #242 – Mother’s Day is May 12th! (And here are a dozen ideas that DON’T involve reservations!)
Greetings Tribe — and Happy May!
This is my yearly PSA from Week #85to remind those of you who are celebrating Mother’s Day this year:
PLAN AHEAD!
But before you pick up the phone to make a reservation, take a moment to think about what the ladies in your life REALLY want.
And I’m not talking about jewelry or clothes, purses or perfume.
I polled over 50 ladies in the week prior to my original post, and asked them:
What do you REALLY want but are afraid to ask for?
The answers may or may not have be surprising — but one thing is for sure: very few of them can be purchased at the mall or served in a restaurant.
Mother’s Day is one of the most stressful days of the year in restaurants. It is NOT a good day to make last minute plans or take your party of nine to try a new place. If the lady in your life LOVES to dine out, and everyone is up for behaving, being on time, and figuring out the bill without her help — then by all means make your reservations now!
(But if that’s the case, you’ve probably already done that!)
If not, take heart — and listen to what REAL MOMS told me they REALLY want on Mother’s Day:
For Starters – Extra Sleep: this may mean sleeping in, a nap during the day, or an undisputed and early lights-out. Most of all — moms want sleep! – Time Alone: moms have a difficult time asking for this because they love their families — but next to extra sleep, all moms expressed some desire for time alone to read, watch TV, swing in a hammock, putter in the garden, work on a project, or just finish their morning cup of coffee. From just a few extra minutes of solitude to 48 hours away from home — moms want a little time that’s all their own! – Peace & Quiet: over and over again, moms longed for a day of no fighting, fussing, stress, or strife. This is a good day for kids to practice their best behavior (dads too!).
The Main Course – Spa Service/Pampering: Meals are big part of any occasion — but most moms I polled want some sort of pampering. A massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, or full service — ladies love to be pampered. (Just be sure to find out her favorite places — or get a recommendation from a friend!) – Special Dinner at Home: While some do want to go out, most moms said they’d prefer to eat a meal at home — they just don’t want to be responsible for planning, preparing, and cleaning up after it! If you decide to treat mom to a home-cooked feast — just be sure you are prepared to take care of everything (or maybe just order out)! Cleaning up someone else’s mess is not a gift! 😉 – Time with Family: I know, I know — moms said they wanted time alone, right? Well, they also want time with their families. Just gathering everyone under one roof, for one day, could make your mom’s year! (Oh — and maybe ONE good picture of everyone!) – Gardening & Yard Supplies/Help: Several moms mentioned gardening and yard supplies, and a little help getting things done! One of the most entertaining accounts was of a family that gathered to weed and plant while the mom sat in a chair and gave instructions! – Stuff: A hammock, flowers, something pretty, something tasty, a movie night, or a scuba diving excursion — there is still a desire for presents, but not always the ones you’d expect! (Don’t be afraid to ask!)
SWEET STUFF – Handmade Cards/Projects from Kids: Above all, moms cherish those little creations made by tiny hands! Engage the kids in a project for mom (preferably while they are out of the house so mom can read, sleep, pamper, putter, or binge watch her favorite show!) – Loving Note from Husband/Significant Other: Several moms mentioned that they love to hear from their husbands/partners on Mother’s Day. Just a few words of acknowledgment and appreciation go a long way (but not always all the way…so no strings attached guys, okay?). – A Simple Thank You: Two words that mean more than anything money can buy!
EXTRAS: It’s hard to make a list of things NOT to do — but over and over again, moms expressed the desire for a day that included: – No Chores (ideally done for her, not left for Monday morning!) – No Decisions (mom might like someone else to take the reigns today) – No Requests (a day without question marks would be delightful) – No Fighting (for one day, please! You can do this!)
Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Mother’s Day is May 13th! Do you know what the mom in your life REALLY wants? Use this list to jump start the conversation! Present her with a home-made menu of options and have her circle her favorites. You might even be able to multi-task to make sure she gets a little of everything she wants throughout the day. The most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD! Whatever she wants — don’t leave it to the last minute. You have a week!!!
And if it is reservations — please make them now (and be sure to take care of your servers… chances are it’s their Mother’s Day too.)
Above all: Remember that Mother’s Day is available every day — not just once a year!
[A big THANK YOU once again to all the Dreamers & Builders who took the time to respond to my original poll — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]
Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD! And share your Mother’s Day ideas in the comments!
PS: I realize that for some, Mother’s Day is not always the happiest of holidays. Death, disagreements, disconnection, or decline can bring about mixed emotions. If this is you, you are not alone. Many women reported similar feelings. Their advice? Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself!
