Week #241 – The Hope in Happyness

Last week I wrote about seeking beauty in ashes…with a challenge that no matter what setbacks, disappointments, or less-than-ideal circumstances came our way in the week ahead, to practice cultivating an attitude of possibility about the outcome.

And then, I found myself in the midst of one of the most challenging weeks I’ve had in a while!

I kept thinking about the irony of having written such words…and then finding myself feeling a little bitter and frustrated over some circumstances I was facing.

But the words from one of the latest episodes of Ricky Gervais’ show “AFTER LIFE” (on Netflix) kept ringing in my head:

“Happiness is amazing. It’s so amazing…it doesn’t matter if it’s yours or not.”

If you haven’t yet watched the show…I highly recommend it. Ricky Gervais plays a recent widower who’s lost his wife to cancer and simply can’t imagine going on without her. Dark…yes. But in a charming way (as only the Brits can do)…and funny. Very funny.

Because it’s true.

There is something about losing all hope that makes it so very hard to find for ourselves — even when it’s right in front of us. If that’s where you are — that’s okay. Sometimes life knocks us off our feet. And flat on our backs. And maybe we just want to stay there for a bit.

But when you’re ready…look around, and find someone to help you up. Someone who’s loved and lost, someone who’s tried and failed, someone who’s been knocked down and got up again. And let them share their hope, their happiness, with you.

(This is what a dear friend of mine calls her “Personal Board of Directors” — and it’s a brilliant idea!)

Happiness doesn’t have to be yours…it just needs to be.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: There’s Hope in Happyness! If you are having a bad week…maybe especially if you are having a bad week…reach out to someone who knows your pain and ask them to share their hope with you. And if you are the one who has walked through the fire and found yourself on the other side…there is someone out there who needs to hear that story this week.

SpreadHappyness — Seek and Share Hope this Week!

4/26/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #240 – Seek Beauty in Ashes

In one week — we’ve experienced a career comeback like no other, a devastating fire, and are poised to celebrate two religious holidays that are rooted in the concepts of freedom and new life.

In each case, everything seemed hopeless. Tiger was too old, Notre Dame too far gone, and bible stories…well, they’re impossible (right?).

And yet, each persisted. Tiger pressed on. Notre Dame will be rebuilt. And the traditions of Passover and Easter survive thousands of years later.

There is something persistent about HOPE.

Don’t get me wrong…I’ve experienced total loss. I watched a perfectly healthy human being become perfectly dead in no time at all. I’ve seen first-hand the devastation of hurricanes at the Jersey Shore. And I lived in Manhattan during 9/11.

Even now, as I write this, I teeter three stories high in the middle of earthquake country.

The potential for loss is always available to us…and yet, there is something in us that reaches for hope in the face of it Each and every time.

Take stock in your losses, whatever they may be. Big or small — honor and grieve them. And then, when the time is right, straighten your shoulders and set your sights on finding the beauty in the ashes.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Seek beauty in ashes! Whatever setbacks, disappointments, or less-than-ideal circumstances come your way this week — practice cultivating an attitude of possibility about the outcome. One way to do this is to take time to process the setback (also called a post-mortem) — or to ask yourself what the best possible outcome might be, or what gift might be buried in the rubble. In some cases, it may be too soon to ask these questions or play these games — but practicing with small stuff now makes it more likely these thoughts will be accessible when you (or someone you know) needs them the most.

SpreadHappyness — Seek Beauty in Ashes this week!

4/19/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #239 – “Honor and Remember…”  (Who can you remember this week?)

As April unfolds…we, as a family, are faced with many of the memories and dates that correlate to Rob’s initial diagnosis and first admittance to Sloan.

But I’m also reminded of the kindnesses we received…and the celebration of Life that is April in general!

One of those kindnesses I mentioned in Week #31. A former Sunday school friend contacted me to let me know she had donated Easter flowers to her church to decorate the sanctuary for Easter Sunday.  She included a photo of the bulletin where Rob’s name was listed — and she wrote to me, “just my way of honoring & remembering your brother this Easter…”

It was one of the most beautiful and reassuring things I’ve received.  I hadn’t asked her to do it or made a plea or mentioned it would be nice — she just remembered him, acted on it, and shared it with me.  It brought me such comfort to know that we are not alone in our remembering…others are remembering too.

So, what’s the importance of “Remembering?”

Grief or trauma or loss or tragedy can leave individuals in very lonely places.  To have someone just acknowledge the gap can mean so much.  It has me thinking about ways I can do better…remembering the silent scars of others, celebrating a life, sharing a memory, or contributing to a donation or memorial.  To let someone else know that they are not alone…that I was there.  That I remember, too.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: “Honor & Remember” someone or something this week!  Make a donation, plant a tree, buy a booster for your local athletic team or drama club, leave a note, place a stone, or send a card.  Take action in the name of someone or something else…then SpreadHappyness and let someone know about it!  Let someone know they are not alone…that you were there, you saw it, experienced it, and remember it…too!

SpreadHappyness — Honor and Remember someone this week!  

4/12/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #238 – Catch someone doing something RIGHT! (File a compliment!)

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

I was reminded this week of how nice it is when someone takes the time to catch you doing something right (instead of wrong)…and reminded me of my post from Week #194:

In some industries complaints are just the default setting.  Customers often feel encouraged to grouse in order to “get something for free” — or entitled to something extra when things don’t perfectly go their way — or they just want to complain to complain.  We’ve all been on one end or the other.

But how often do we take time to write a thank you note, pay a compliment, or publicly praise someone for doing the right thing?

Social media has made it easier than ever to complain about bad service or call out individuals/companies that let us down.

The things is…it’s just as easy nowadays to say something positive!  🙂

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Catch someone doing something RIGHT! Has someone delivered for you?  Did they come through in a pinch, perform with flying colors, or go above and beyond to make sure you had a good experience?  Better yet, have you had to stand by and witness someone handle a difficult situation with grace and ease? If so, call them out on their GOOD BEHAVIOR…and file a COMPLIMENT!

(And businesses/employers…if you receive compliments, be sure to share them with your staff just a readily as you would a complaint.  It doesn’t hurt to reward your top performers, either!)

Spread Happyness — file a COMPLIMENT this week!

4/5/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com