Week #232 – Repost: “Fitness never takes a snow day.” (Rob Church)

This post from Week #32 has been on my mind recently. Five years since this text — and three years since our move to LA — and some of my excuses are catching up with me lately. I’ve let some things go…resigned myself to others…gave up some good habits…and picked up some bad ones. Maybe it’s too much sun or easy living…but Rob’s words have been echoing in my mind: “Fitness never takes a snow day.” Hard to believe that in just a little more than six months from the date of this photo he’d be gone forever…

What were my excuses, again? 🙂

[Reposted from Week #32:]

With all the snow recently…and perhaps the timing of the year…this text from Rob has been on my mind.  He sent it last year on March 2nd.  He was running windsprints at the track.  Many people admired Rob for his discipline…but his workouts were deeper than that.  They were a habit: as natural as getting up, getting showered, and brushing your teeth.  Anyone that knew Rob in high school can attest to the fact that he wasn’t born this way!  But as an adult, he got himself to a point where NOT doing it would be weirder than just getting it done!

Personally, I think of this text every time I head out to run on less than pleasant days.  I like to run outside…and being able to run along the ocean is a very special gift.  Checking the weather is simply not an option.  N’oreaster, blizzard, rain, heat, or humidity…I simply won’t let the weather be a deciding factor for me.  I learned that from Rob…

…and yet…

…I let a thousand things stand in the way of so much else!  I’m in the middle of a big cleaning/decluttering project right now.  A few major job changes, a couple of very busy summers, and more than one significant death in our household…I can track back the piles in my little home office space and kitchen to all of these major life events.  Reasons…maybe.  Excuses…I just can’t let myself get away with it any longer!  No more “snow days” for me, Rob!

What about you?  Are there things you are putting off for when the time is right, the weather is better, or the conditions are perfect?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead (and mine too!): Pick ONE THING that’s been nagging at you since January 1st…and GET IT DONE this week!  Next Thursday marks the end of February — and that means one-sixth of the year will be over.  Don’t let unfinished business take up any more of your precious time and rob you of your future Happyness this year!  Trust me, I know it’s hard…especially when the excuses are so easy.  I am SO in this, too!  Start small…think of that one thing at the top of your list of to-do’s that you can bang out this week…and get it done!

Spread Happyness — share your challenges, successes, to-do’s or TA-DA’s in the comments!

2/22/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

PS: Rob would often include silly or nonsensical quotes (accredited to him) at the bottom of his emails to me (he may have done this to you, too!).  I always envied his creativity…and I hope wherever he is, he enjoys being the one I am quoting this week!

Week #231 – Back to Basics: Smile, Wave, Say Hello, and Ask “How are you doing?”

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

We celebrated Rob’s birthday earlier this week.  He would have been 45 years old this year.  Which means it’s been five years…

Five years since that stupid cough showed up.
Five years since he went missing from the beach we loved so much.
Five years since his very last birthday here on Earth.
Five years since he told me (in his own adamant way) how he was looking forward to his 40’s.

It still amazes me that in a little more than six short months, he’d be gone.

Five years later — and I’m reminded daily of the ordinary stuff so many of us continue to miss the most: his big wave that you could see from a mile away, his voice and unique way of saying hello, his easy smile and laugh, and his genuine interest in hearing how a person was doing (even when it wasn’t great).

Its a good reminder that Happyness isn’t rocket-science…it’s in the most basic of things.  And they are all ours for the giving…any time…free of charge!  We just need to count to four:

1. Wave Big
2. Smile
3. Say Hello Like You Mean It
4. Ask: How are you doing?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: GET BACK TO BASICS!  It’s very easy to skip the basics and get right into the issues that are top of mind right now.  And while those issues are valid and important and worthy of discussion — they aren’t always the things that connect us.  (And in some cases, they might actually divide us.)  So as you encounter others this week, remember to count to four first…smile, wave, say hello, and ask “How are you doing?”

Happy Birthday in Heaven, Bud!  You are very truly now “Forever Young!”

Spread Happyness — Get Back to Basics and Connect!

2/15/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #230 – Valentine’s Day is February 14th!  (Read this before buying that expensive gift!)

Valentine’s Day is next week — and I wanted to take a moment to repeat my little public service announcement to remind those of you who will celebrate this year:

PLAN AHEAD!

(And for those of you who aren’t planning to celebrate…check out the PS: below just for you!)

You’ve got a good seven days…but before you pull out the credit card to buy that expensive gift — or pick up the phone to make a last minute dinner reservation for 7:30p (and yes, at this point, it’s last minute) — take a moment to think about what the Valentine in your life REALLY wants.

Back at Week #125, I took an informal poll back at — and asked people:
“What is it that you REALLY want for Valentine’s Day — but are afraid to ask for?”

Here, once again, are the answers!  (And one thing is for sure: most of them are not purchased at a mall or served in an overbooked restaurant.)

Take heart — and listen to what REAL PEOPLE told me they REALLY wanted for Valentine’s Day:

For Starters
– Words of Affirmation: the reality is, most people I asked did NOT respond with a request for a gift or money spent.  They wanted to hear good words from their partners.  You can start the day with a note, a card, or even a text (but PLEASE…don’t follow it up with a request!).
– Affection: from young to old, many people (women particularly), want some physical reassurance that you are their one-and-only.  Hold a hand, give a hug, plant a kiss (but again, don’t follow it up with a request or expectation for more!).
– Surprise at Work: one woman I spoke with initially told me she wanted dinner and dancing — but then confided that she and her husband always do that.  What she really wanted was for him to send flowers to her workplace.  In her words, “we know we exist when someone else thinks of us.” This could take the form of candy, flowers, fruit, or even donut bouquets! (Bonus points for sending them on Monday so he/she can have them all week!)

The Main Course
– Dinner/Movie: Dinner is a go-to part of Valentine’s Day — but most everyone I talked to didn’t want the hassle of going out.  Much of this depends on where you are in your relationship — but preparing a special meal at home (one young millennial mentioned grilling steaks for his girl) and settling on the couch to watch a movie (he lets her pick) was his plan for February 14th.
– Dinner/Dancing: Still, there are those who look forward to getting gussied up and going out on the town!  As mentioned, if this is you — make your plans early, leave plenty of time, and go all-out!  (And pay cash…you’ll both feel better about it the next day!)
– Gifts: Surprisingly, more men mentioned to me the desire for a gift!  A nice watch, electronics, or sports gear seemed to top the list.  However, more than one woman mentioned cash or a gift certificate to her favorite store or service.  (As far as gifts go, permission to splurge on oneself should not be overlooked!)
– Nature: Whether it’s a long walk, a beach day, a ski-day, or a lazy drive — the quiet of nature is a great place to get out and get connected to one another.
– Get-a-way: If it’s in the budget and wouldn’t cause additional stress — make plans to slip away for a weekend or even just an overnight for a little one-on-one time.  A snowy lodge, a flashy casino, or a quaint B&B might be just what you need to remember what brought you together in the first place!

The Sweet Stuff
– Conversation: Both men and women reported wanting to “really talk” with their significant others.  And as one young man said to me: “if I could have anything, I’d just want him listen to me.”
– Cuddling: Sorry guys…but top ‘o the ladies’ lists is a good cuddle!  I know you may not be able to understand it…but the ability of a man to selflessly provide affection can be very erotic!
– Sex: Sorry ladies…but the one thing your guy is really hoping for is that you still dig him.  If you really want to surprise your guy, let him know it!

Bonus
– Couple’s Challenge: One young man I asked told me that he would love for his partner to commit to a challenge with him!  Whether it’s to get in shape, quit a bad habit, build a new one, redecorate that spare office or basement, or plan for a vacation — some couples thrive on encouragement and teamwork!  Working together to achieve a goal can be a great way demonstrate your love and commitment throughout the year!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Valentine’s Day is February 14th!  Do you know what the love in your life REALLY wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Present him/her with a menu of options and have them circle their favorites.  You might even be able to team up to make sure you BOTH get a little of everything you want throughout the day.  The most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Whatever your love wants — don’t leave it until the last minute.  And if it is reservations — please make them now, preferably for BEFORE or AFTER the 7:30p rush!  (And be sure to take care of your servers and bartenders, chances are it’s their Valentine’s Day too.)

Above all: Remember that Valentine’s Day is available every day — not just once a year!

[A big THANK YOU to all the brave souls who let me put them on the spot — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share your Valentine’s Day ideas in the comments!

PS: I realize that for some, Valentine’s Day may not be the happiest of holidays this year or ever.  Death, divorce, disagreements, or decline can bring about mixed emotions — or maybe you are just flying solo this year and aren’t happy about it.  If this is you, you are not alone.  Many people report similar feelings.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself!  Or…throw a Quirky Alone Day or Galentine’s Day party for you and anyone else who wants to celebrate “romance, friendship, and the independent spirit” by putting a heart on all kinds of love: romantic, platonic, familial, and the best love of all…loving yourself!

2/8/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #229 – Spread the Love! (Happyness Celebrated with Sarah Harmeyer and Neighbor’s Table)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

This week, I am so pleased to re-visit this Happyness in Action story! Back in 2015, I interviewed Sarah Harmeyer of Dallas, TX about her creation of Neighbor’s Table — a simple concept that gathers neighbors around a table to share a meal and get to know one another. Since then, she has personally placed over 200 of her hand-crafted tables in nearly half of the states in the US…with a goal of one table in every state by 2020. And just this week, she appeared on Good Morning America to share her story and talk about the power of community! Congratulations, Sarah — and keep growing!!!

Will your backyard be next?!

[Repost from Week #66 – Spread the Love! (Happyness in Action with Sarah Harmeyer)]

This week, I am so pleased to announce our fifth nomination for Happyness in Action: Sarah Harmeyer of Dallas, TX for her creation of Neighbor’s Table. Sarah took a simple concept and a sweet memory — and turned it into “A Love Mission” that has kept her (and her family) busy for over four years and just landed her table on HGTV’s “Nashville Flipped!” She is the “Chief People Gatherer” at Neighbor’s Table — a movement that encourages people to step outside their homes and get to know their neighbors, one table at a time!

And it all started in her own backyard!

Sarah shared her story with me: “The concept of Neighbor’s Table comes from my personal passion for gathering people and my desire to get to know my neighbors.  I asked my Dad to build a table big enough to seat 20. In 2012, I set a goal to serve 500 people at that table, one dinner party after another.  I did it that year, and have now gathered almost 2,000 people since.”

But why a table?

“I thought back to the very best moments in my life and it was always around the table.  It was around the kitchen, planning parties, celebrating other people.  In graduate school I even had a little cafe out of my house and it was the very best year of my life.  So, I started paying attention to when I came alive.  That’s when a friend helped me realize I was a people gatherer.”

So Sarah’s father built her a custom table.  “I had my first party in March of 2012 and I extended invitations to my neighborhood.  I invited them to step outside their home and meet neighbors, even if they’ve never done so.  To my surprise, 91 neighbors came that night — and the rest was history.”

The first goal: 500.

How did she go from 91 to 500 that first year?  “I told people my goal of 500 people that year and when people know about your goal they ask you about it.  On Thanksgiving Day 2012, the 500th guest walked down my driveway.  There was clapping, cheers, photos and video.  We did it, it became OUR table, not just my table.”  Since then, Sarah reports that almost 2000 people have celebrated at the original Neighbor’s Table.

But Sarah didn’t stop there.  “A couple of years ago I asked my Dad if he’d be willing to build tables for other people.  I got to thinking it would be really fun to cheer people on to love their neighbors and to start their own love mission in their community.”  I asked Sarah about the first table they built after their own.  “The first table we built, after the original, was delivered to a college student in Waco, TX as a surprise from her parents.  We delivered it on October 19, 2013.”

And now?

“We have been building tables from our family barn and delivering them all over the country.  We want to see ordinary people loving extraordinarily around the table.”  There are Neighbor’s Tables currently in 10 states (updated to 23 at the time of this re-post) — with a goal of having tables in backyards in every state in the US by 2020!  “The power of community that now regularly gathers at the original Neighbor’s Table has spurred a desire to launch a movement — a love mission, if you will.”

I asked Sarah what Happyness means to her: “Happiness is gathering friends and strangers alike around the table and figuring out ways the entire time on how to love them.  Happiness is cheering others to love.  Happiness is doing the thing that God has made you to do.”

What about you, Happyness Tribe?  Are you ready to Spread the Love?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: SPREAD THE LOVE! Do you want to get to know your neighbors? If so, host a gathering — and “love someone to the left or right of you!” It doesn’t have to be a fancy sit-down dinner…it could be dessert, cocktails, game night, or appetizers before or after the Big Game this Sunday. If you are longing for community — the community may start with you! Open your doors! Spread the Love!

“Make time for someone in your community. Look for ways to love those to the left and right of you.” (Sarah Harmeyer)

Spread Happyness — Spread the Love!  Get to know your neighbors this week — and tell me about it in the comments!

(Thanks, once again, to Sarah Harmeyer for welcoming me to her virtual table and allowing me to interview her back in 2015!  To learn more about Sarah and Neighbor’s Table, read inspiring stories, or find out how to get a custom handcrafted table for your own backyard — follow Neighbor’s Table on Instagram and Facebook, or sign up for emails or purchase at http://neighborstable.com.)

2/1/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com