Week #193 – REMINDER: Keep the “Memorial” in Memorial Day!

This post has been an annual repeat — because it’s always a good reminder to keep the “Memorial” in Memorial Day!

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”  (attributed to Plato — and George Santayana)

We are coming up on another Memorial Day Weekend — and there is no doubt that you’ll see a lot of commentaries about Memorial Day this weekend.  Here is one more — but it may not be what you think!

Memorial Day, for certain, is a day set aside to remember those who died serving our country.  But before it was called “Memorial Day” — it was called “Decoration Day” because it was a day when families reunited at burial locations to “decorate” the graves of their fallen.  And because many people traveled very far to get there — they would relish the opportunity to visit and reconnect with relatives, usually accompanied by a pot-luck or picnic supper nearby.

So, it seems our modern traditions of family reunions and bar-b-queing are not really that far off.

It’s the REMEMBERING (and DECORATING) that we sometimes miss!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Put the MEMORIAL back in Memorial Day!  Enjoy your family, the nice weather, and the freedom we have — just remember to REMEMBER!  This may mean simply raising a flag, bringing a note or flowers to a grave of one who lost his/her life in service, or writing a name in the sand for all to see.  You could make a donation, plant a tree, or lay a wreath at the base of a statue.  Even after the day is past, the flowers fade, or the ocean wipes the shore clean — you never know how long your tribute will stick to the walls of someone else’s memory!

How do you keep the MEMORIAL in Memorial Day?!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts or ideas in the comments!

5/25/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #192 – Don’t let your dreams gather dust!

It’s May…and my social media newsfeed is buzzing once again with prom pictures, college acceptance announcements, graduations, post-grad certifications, and new job transitions!

Dreams of all shapes and sizes are coming true…every day.

(Which means it’s time to revisit an oldie but a goodie from graduation seasons past!)

It’s Graduation Season

Soon, high schoolers and college students everywhere will be leaving the safety of their nests and setting out on lives of their own making.  Graduation cards will be filled with the phrase “follow your dreams!”  But do we really mean that?  (I mean, we must…because no graduation card ever wishes the recipient a life of quiet desperation, right?)

What’s your dream?

Are you chasing your dreams?  Or are they gathering dust?  Do you even remember what they were?  Or when you may have set them aside?

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Don’t let your dreams gather dust!  As we celebrate the graduations and bright futures of high schoolers and college students everywhere — take a moment to remember where you were headed and who you thought you were going to be.  Are you you still on the right track?  Have you followed your dreams?  Or maybe your old dreams lead you to new dreams?  Or did life or circumstances derail you?  Don’t despair…you’ve graduated life with honors!  Put on a cap and gown, play Pomp & Circumstance, and celebrate who you are today and all that you’ve accomplished.  Then dust off those dreams…and set your sails for a new horizon!  Because it’s never to late and you’re never too old.  The best day to get started on your dreams is TODAY! 

To misquote Henry David Thoreau: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!  Live the life you imagined!”

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts (and dreams) in the comments!

5/18/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #191 – “Take care of yourself!” (Especially on Mother’s Day)

Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 13th!  If you haven’t made plans yet, don’t panic.  Last week, I posted a dozen ideas (that didn’t include reservations) from a survey of what over 50 REAL MOMS told me they REALLY wanted on Mother’s Day.

And if you are one of the ones NOT looking forward to Mother’s Day…I promised this week would be for you!

So I’m re-posting again — because for many women, Mother’s Day is not a happy day.  For some women…it is a day of mixed emotions.  And if this is you…please read on, and know you are not alone!

Mother’s Day and Mixed Emotions

Many of the women I exchanged ideas with reported feeling mixed emotions on Mother’s Day.  Issues of infertility or infant death, the loss of parents or children at any age, disconnection from living parents or children, disagreements among family members, decline of elderly parents, or disappointments in childhood or childrearing — they all come front and center on a day when it seems like “everyone” else is out celebrating with their perfect and loving families.

If you feel this way, please know you are not alone.

There are many articles circulating about what to do when you can’t, won’t, or don’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day.  The bottom line is this…and it’s in my own mother’s words:

“Take care of yourself.”

These are tough words to hear when you feel victimized, bitter, or powerless.  They’re more like a bed of nails than a soft place to fall — trust me, I know.  But they are true.

Because if you won’t take care of you…then who else will?

In my original survey, many women reported mixed feelings on Mother’s Day.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself and your future!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: “Take care of yourself!”  Mother’s Day is a great day to remind each of us that “mothering” is an age-old practice.  And while one woman may be have brought you into this world (and maybe even another brought you up)…all that she taught you, good and bad, instructs how you carry and deliver yourself your entire life!  If Mother’s Day is a struggle for you — do what you need to do to take care of yourself this year!  

And take care of others, too — because everyone needs a mom sometime!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!

[This post originally appeared on Week #86.]

5/11/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #190 – Mother’s Day is May 13th! (Here’s a dozen ideas that DON’T involve reservations!)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy May!

I wanted to take a moment to repeat my little public service announcement from Week #85 — and remind those of you who are celebrating Mother’s Day this year:

PLAN AHEAD!

But before you pick up the phone to make a reservation, take a moment to think about what the ladies in your life REALLY want.

And I’m not talking about jewelry or clothes, purses or perfume.

I polled over 50 ladies in the week prior to my original post, and asked them:

What do you REALLY want but are afraid to ask for?

The answers may or may not have be surprising — but one thing is for sure: very few of them can be purchased at the mall or served in a restaurant.

Mother’s Day is one of the most stressful days of the year in restaurants.  It is NOT a good day to make last minute plans or take your party of nine to try a new place.  If the lady in your life LOVES to dine out, and everyone is up for behaving, being on time, and figuring out the bill without her help — then by all means make your reservations now!

(But if that’s the case, you’ve probably already done that!)

If not, take heart — and listen to what REAL MOMS told me they REALLY want on Mother’s Day:

For Starters
– Extra Sleep: this may mean sleeping in, a nap during the day, or an undisputed and early lights-out.  Most of all — moms want sleep!
– Time Alone: moms have a difficult time asking for this because they love their families — but next to extra sleep, all moms expressed some desire for time alone to read, watch TV, swing in a hammock, putter in the garden, work on a project, or just finish their morning cup of coffee.  From just a few extra minutes of solitude to 48 hours away from home — moms want a little time that’s all their own!
– Peace & Quiet: over and over again, moms longed for a day of no fighting, fussing, stress, or strife.  This is a good day for kids to practice their best behavior (dads too!).

The Main Course
– Spa Service/Pampering: Meals are big part of any occasion — but most moms I polled want some sort of pampering.  A massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, or full service — ladies love to be pampered.  (Just be sure to find out her favorite places — or get a recommendation from a friend!)
– Special Dinner at Home: While some do want to go out, most moms said they’d prefer to eat a meal at home — they just don’t want to be responsible for planning, preparing, and cleaning up after it!  If you decide to treat mom to a home-cooked feast — just be sure you are prepared to take care of everything (or maybe just order out)!  Cleaning up someone else’s mess is not a gift!  😉
– Time with Family: I know, I know — moms said they wanted time alone, right?  Well, they also want time with their families.  Just gathering everyone under one roof, for one day, could make your mom’s year!  (Oh — and maybe ONE good picture of everyone!)
– Gardening & Yard Supplies/Help: Several moms mentioned gardening and yard supplies, and a little help getting things done!  One of the most entertaining accounts was of a family that gathered to weed and plant while the mom sat in a chair and gave instructions!
– Stuff: A hammock, flowers, something pretty, something tasty, a movie night, or a scuba diving excursion — there is still a desire for presents, but not always the ones you’d expect!  (Don’t be afraid to ask!)

SWEET STUFF
– Handmade Cards/Projects from Kids: Above all, moms cherish those little creations made by tiny hands!  Engage the kids in a project for mom (preferably while they are out of the house so mom can read, sleep, pamper, putter, or binge watch her favorite show!)
– Loving Note from Husband/Significant Other: Several moms mentioned that they love to hear from their husbands/partners on Mother’s Day.  Just a few words of acknowledgment and appreciation go a long way (but not always all the way…so no strings attached guys, okay?).
– A Simple Thank You: Two words that mean more than anything money can buy!

EXTRAS:  It’s hard to make a list of things NOT to do — but over and over again, moms expressed the desire for a day that included:
– No Chores (ideally done for her, not left for Monday morning!)
– No Decisions (mom might like someone else to take the reigns today)
– No Requests (a day without question marks would be delightful)
– No Fighting (for one day, please!  You can do this!)

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Mother’s Day is May 13th!  Do you know what the mom in your life REALLY wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Present her with a home-made menu of options and have her circle her favorites.  You might even be able to multi-task to make sure she gets a little of everything she wants throughout the day.  The most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Whatever she wants — don’t leave it to the last minute.  You have a week!!!

And if it is reservations — please make them now (and be sure to take care of your servers… chances are it’s their Mother’s Day too.)

Above all: Remember that Mother’s Day is available every day — not just once a year!

[A big THANK YOU once again to all the Dreamers & Builders who took the time to respond to my poll — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share your Mother’s Day ideas in the comments!

PS: I realize that for some, Mother’s Day is not always the happiest of holidays.  Death, disagreements, disconnection, or decline can bring about mixed emotions.  If this is you, you are not alone.  Many women reported similar feelings.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself!

[This post originally appeared on Week #85.]

5/4/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com