“What’s on your menu?” (by Grace Church)

Week #85 – Mother’s Day is May 8th!  (Read this before making reservations!)

April is coming to a close — and I wanted to take a moment for a little public service announcement to remind those of you who are celebrating Mother’s Day this year:

PLAN AHEAD!

But before you pick up the phone to make a reservation, take a moment to think about what the ladies in your life REALLY want.

And I’m not talking about jewelry or clothes, purses or perfume.

I polled over 50 ladies this week, and asked them:
What do you REALLY want but are afraid to ask for?

The answers may or may not be surprising — but one thing is for sure: very few of them can be purchased at the mall or served in a restaurant.

Mother’s Day is one of the most stressful days of the year in restaurants.  It is NOT a good day to make last minute plans or take your party of nine to try a new place.  If the lady in your life LOVES to dine out, and everyone is up for behaving, being on time, and figuring out the bill without her help — then by all means make your reservations now!  (But if that’s the case, you’ve probably already done that!)

If not, take heart — and listen to what REAL MOMS told me they REALLY want on Mother’s Day:

For Starters
– Extra Sleep: this may mean sleeping in, a nap during the day, or an undisputed and early lights-out.  Most of all — moms want sleep!
– Time Alone: moms have a difficult time asking for this because they love their families — but next to extra sleep, all moms expressed some desire for time alone to read, watch TV, swing in a hammock, putter in the garden, work on a project, or just finish their morning cup of coffee.  From just a few extra minutes of solitude to 48 hours away from home — moms want a little time that’s all their own!
– Peace & Quiet: over and over again, moms longed for a day of no fighting, fussing, stress, or strife.  This is a good day for kids to practice their best behavior (dads too!).

The Main Course
– Spa Service/Pampering: Meals are big part of any occasion — but most moms I polled want some sort of pampering.  A massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, or full service — ladies love to be pampered.  (Just be sure to find out her favorite places — or get a recommendation from a friend!)
– Special Dinner at Home: While some do want to go out, most moms said they’d prefer to eat a meal at home — they just don’t want to be responsible for planning, preparing, and cleaning up after it!  If you decide to treat mom to a home-cooked feast — just be sure you are prepared to take care of everything (or maybe just order out)!  Cleaning up someone else’s mess is not a gift!  😉
– Time with Family: I know, I know — moms said they wanted time alone, right?  Well, they also want time with their families.  Just gathering everyone under one roof, for one day, could make your mom’s year!  (Oh — and maybe ONE good picture of everyone!)
– Gardening & Yard Supplies/Help: Several moms mentioned gardening and yard supplies, and a little help getting things done!  One of the most entertaining accounts was of a family that gathered to weed and plant while the mom sat in a chair and gave instructions!
– Stuff: A hammock, flowers, something pretty, something tasty, a movie night, or a scuba diving excursion — there is still a desire for presents, but not always the ones you’d expect!  (Don’t be afraid to ask!)

SWEET STUFF
– Handmade Cards/Projects from Kids: Above all, moms cherish those little creations made by tiny hands!  Engage the kids in a project for mom (preferably while they are out of the house so mom can read, sleep, pamper, putter, or binge watch her favorite show!)
– Loving Note from Husband/Significant Other: Several moms mentioned that they love to hear from their husbands/partners on Mother’s Day.  Just a few words of acknowledgment and appreciation go a long way (but not always all the way…so no strings attached guys, okay?).
– A Simple Thank You: Two words that mean more than anything money can buy!

EXTRAS:  It’s hard to make a list of things NOT to do — but over and over again, moms expressed the desire for a day that included:
– No Chores (ideally done for her, not left for Monday morning!)
– No Decisions (mom might like someone else to take the reigns today)
– No Requests (a day without question marks would be delightful)
– No Fighting (for one day, please!  You can do this!)

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Mother’s Day is May 8th!  Do you know what the mom in your life REALLY wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Present her with a menu of options and have her circle her favorites.  You might even be able to multi-task to make sure she gets a little of everything she wants throughout the day.  The most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Whatever she wants — don’t leave it until the last minute.  And if it is reservations — please make them now (and be sure to take care of your server, chances are it’s their Mother’s Day too.)

Above all: Remember that Mother’s Day is available every day — not just once a year!

[A big THANK YOU to all the Dreamers & Builders who took the time to respond to my poll — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share your Mother’s Day ideas in the comments!

PS: I realize that for some, Mother’s Day is not always the happiest of holidays.  Death, disagreements, disconnection, or decline can bring about mixed emotions.  If this is you, you are not alone.  Many women reported similar feelings.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself!

4/29/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“What’s on your menu?” (by Grace Church)

Week #85 – Mother’s Day is May 8th!  (Read this before making reservations!)

April is coming to a close — and I wanted to take a moment for a little public service announcement to remind those of you who are celebrating Mother’s Day this year:

PLAN AHEAD!

But before you pick up the phone to make a reservation, take a moment to think about what the ladies in your life REALLY want.

And I’m not talking about jewelry or clothes, purses or perfume.

I polled over 50 ladies this week, and asked them:
What do you REALLY want but are afraid to ask for?

The answers may or may not be surprising — but one thing is for sure: very few of them can be purchased at the mall or served in a restaurant.

Mother’s Day is one of the most stressful days of the year in restaurants.  It is NOT a good day to make last minute plans or take your party of nine to try a new place.  If the lady in your life LOVES to dine out, and everyone is up for behaving, being on time, and figuring out the bill without her help — then by all means make your reservations now!  (But if that’s the case, you’ve probably already done that!)

If not, take heart — and listen to what REAL MOMS told me they REALLY want on Mother’s Day:

For Starters
– Extra Sleep: this may mean sleeping in, a nap during the day, or an undisputed and early lights-out.  Most of all — moms want sleep!
– Time Alone: moms have a difficult time asking for this because they love their families — but next to extra sleep, all moms expressed some desire for time alone to read, watch TV, swing in a hammock, putter in the garden, work on a project, or just finish their morning cup of coffee.  From just a few extra minutes of solitude to 48 hours away from home — moms want a little time that’s all their own!
– Peace & Quiet: over and over again, moms longed for a day of no fighting, fussing, stress, or strife.  This is a good day for kids to practice their best behavior (dads too!).

The Main Course
– Spa Service/Pampering: Meals are big part of any occasion — but most moms I polled want some sort of pampering.  A massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, or full service — ladies love to be pampered.  (Just be sure to find out her favorite places — or get a recommendation from a friend!)
– Special Dinner at Home: While some do want to go out, most moms said they’d prefer to eat a meal at home — they just don’t want to be responsible for planning, preparing, and cleaning up after it!  If you decide to treat mom to a home-cooked feast — just be sure you are prepared to take care of everything (or maybe just order out)!  Cleaning up someone else’s mess is not a gift!  😉
– Time with Family: I know, I know — moms said they wanted time alone, right?  Well, they also want time with their families.  Just gathering everyone under one roof, for one day, could make your mom’s year!  (Oh — and maybe ONE good picture of everyone!)
– Gardening & Yard Supplies/Help: Several moms mentioned gardening and yard supplies, and a little help getting things done!  One of the most entertaining accounts was of a family that gathered to weed and plant while the mom sat in a chair and gave instructions!
– Stuff: A hammock, flowers, something pretty, something tasty, a movie night, or a scuba diving excursion — there is still a desire for presents, but not always the ones you’d expect!  (Don’t be afraid to ask!)

SWEET STUFF
– Handmade Cards/Projects from Kids: Above all, moms cherish those little creations made by tiny hands!  Engage the kids in a project for mom (preferably while they are out of the house so mom can read, sleep, pamper, putter, or binge watch her favorite show!)
– Loving Note from Husband/Significant Other: Several moms mentioned that they love to hear from their husbands/partners on Mother’s Day.  Just a few words of acknowledgment and appreciation go a long way (but not always all the way…so no strings attached guys, okay?).
– A Simple Thank You: Two words that mean more than anything money can buy!

EXTRAS:  It’s hard to make a list of things NOT to do — but over and over again, moms expressed the desire for a day that included:
– No Chores (ideally done for her, not left for Monday morning!)
– No Decisions (mom might like someone else to take the reigns today)
– No Requests (a day without question marks would be delightful)
– No Fighting (for one day, please!  You can do this!)

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Mother’s Day is May 8th!  Do you know what the mom in your life REALLY wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Present her with a menu of options and have her circle her favorites.  You might even be able to multi-task to make sure she gets a little of everything she wants throughout the day.  The most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Whatever she wants — don’t leave it until the last minute.  And if it is reservations — please make them now (and be sure to take care of your server, chances are it’s their Mother’s Day too.)

Above all: Remember that Mother’s Day is available every day — not just once a year!

[A big THANK YOU to all the Dreamers & Builders who took the time to respond to my poll — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share your Mother’s Day ideas in the comments!

PS: I realize that for some, Mother’s Day is not always the happiest of holidays.  Death, disagreements, disconnection, or decline can bring about mixed emotions.  If this is you, you are not alone.  Many women reported similar feelings.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself!

4/29/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Memories…made possible by Phil Hirlemann                   (photo credits: Grace Church)

Week #84 – What is Your Art? (Dedicated to Phil Hirlemann)

We lost two great artists this week: one, a pop icon and musical genius recognized world-wide for his unique vision and creative expression; the other, a local art/photography teacher who touched thousands of lives by going above and beyond the classroom for his students.

The first, of course, is Prince.

The second, is Phil Hirlemann.  For those of you who don’t know who this is — he was the art and photography teacher at my local high school for over 25 years.  My Facebook feed was immediately flooded with personal accounts of how Mr. Hirlemann impacted the individual lives of his students — sometimes decades after they graduated!

Over and over again, the same themes are repeated:

• How he cared for his students
• Believed in their individual abilities
• Made everyone feel equal
• Encouraged art as an outlet (for otherwise tied up and confused teenagers)
• Introduced us to other things like music and cars
• And most important — created an environment where high schoolers felt free to express themselves and be heard

He did this all through ceramics, painting, photography, screen printing, drawing…

…otherwise known as ART.

My personal testimony is not that exciting or nearly as personal.  It wasn’t until AFTER I graduated that I had my opportunity to interact with Mr. Hirlemann — and it wouldn’t be until quite a few years later that I would realize the importance of his contribution.

Mr. Hirlemann loaned me (probably against the rules) the camera and lens that I used to photograph Rob’s senior high school football games.  Every Friday I would pick up the equipment — and every Monday morning I’d return it.  That year, I photographed every single one of Rob’s games.  But it wasn’t until Rob died that it hit home how important those photographs were to him, to his classmates…and now to me.

At a time when art and music are being cut from school carricula — it’s worth looking at the impact they have on our lives long term.  Most other subjects require us to study someone else’s accomplishments or genius.  Art gives us the unique opportunity to look inside and get in touch with our own vision, our own voice.

What students learn in art class is self-expression, the ability to create and communicate OUR unique vision to the world.  

The ability to express ourselves fully, and be heard — even if it’s two decades later!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: “What is Your Art?”  Do you have a teacher or mentor who believed in you, who encouraged you, who got you in touch with your art?  Be grateful — and find a way to thank them this week.  You may not be able to track him/her down directly — but by expressing yourself, by sharing your art with others, by encouraging someone else, or spreading happyness — you honor them and celebrate their contribution to your life.

Thanks for the memories, Mr. Hirlemann…not just the ones you created with us in the classroom, but also the ones you taught us to create for ourselves as adults!

Spread Happyness — tell us about your art in the comments!

4/22/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Lake Aeroflex (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #83 – “All I need is a pair of wheels…”

Still unpacking…but we’re getting into the good stuff!  (I unearthed my 8th grade photo album yesterday!  No one is safe!)

There’s two major excavation projects going on here:

1. There is the moving and unpacking of the “current” stuff — that’s the stuff I’ve been living with in my apartment for the past 8 years.
2. And then there is the unpacking of the “storage” stuff — that’s the stuff that’s been in storage for more years than I care to calculate.  Some goes back to college.  Some — as I mentioned — goes back to 8th grade!

No wonder I am waking up disoriented!  I barely know what city I’m in — let alone what decade!

The crazy thing is…through it all, I sometimes forget that Rob is gone.  Like gone…for good.  I swear there are days when I’m certain I could call him and he would pick up his phone.  The distance — or perhaps the disruption in location — has allowed me to reconnect to him in an entirely new and unexpected way.

And while I’m supposed to be purging things…I have added a few items.  Most recently, I bought myself a bike.  I’ve had lots of different commutes in my lifetime — anywhere from 15 minutes to 2.5 hours.  I’ve walked across town, driven the freeway, rode the train, taken the subway, and sat in a bus on Route 3.  But never have I used a bike…until now!

It was the last place I expected my brother to show up!

There’s something about being on a bicycle that takes you back to when you were a kid.  That first taste of freedom.  The ability to get anywhere, faster.  Down the street, through the woods, or maybe even the next town over.  As soon as we were able — we rode our bikes.  EVERYWHERE!  (As long as we were home by dark!)

And while Rob never rode a bike up Ventura Boulevard with me — I remember him, and all the neighborhood gang, with each and every push of the pedals.  “All I need is a pair of wheels!”

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: “All I need is a pair of wheels!”  Do you have memories of riding your bike when you were a kid?  When was the last time you were on one?  Believe me, it’s true what they say: you don’t forget.  In fact, you may remember more than you think!  Now…don’t just jump on and go riding into traffic if you haven’t been on one in a while!  But if you have an opportunity…jump on a bicycle this week.  And see where the memories take you!

Spread Happyness — share your stories in the comments!

4/15/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“Green it is!!” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #82 – What color are your memories?

We’re a couple of weeks into the move — and we’re still unpacking!

Sometimes it’s fun — I find an item I’ve been looking for, get reunited with something I need, or rediscover something I forgot I even had.

Sometimes it’s rough though — I unpack a bad memory, am reminded of a past regret, or come across something that reminds me of someone, or something, I loved.

This week I opened a large plastic wrapping that contained all my flat pieces: artwork, white board, bulletin board, and yes…Rob’s word board.

The handwriting all still in place.  Colored pushpins tacking each note to the foam.  A reminder of the turnout, of the waves of caring and support we received, but mostly a reminder of what Rob’s life came down to:

Your words.  Your memories.  Your reflections of him.

“Words to remember me by…” is what I wrote on that board. (Eternal thanks to Frank Todisco for bringing the supplies for that project!)

One of the slips of paper, written in green Sharpie, said: “I even chose green — because to me it means ‘life’.  And that’s what you were.”

At the same time…I came across this picture.  Rob rummaging through the cabinets at home…wearing a green shirt!

So…sting of regret, pang of grief, warm memory, and a happier heart for knowing him at all:

Green it is!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: What color are your memories?  It is not uncommon for humans to translate energy into color.  This is where phrases like “a dark mood” or “sun-shiney disposition” or “seeing red” come into play.  If you had to be remembered in a color…what would it be?  Better yet…if you could describe the ones you love in color, what would you say and why?

Don’t wait until it’s too late.  Share your love and affection for someone in color this week!

Spread Happyness – and tell me, what color are your memories?

4/8/16 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com