Fun with Photo Booth! (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #46 – Summer Fun Challenge: “Quiet Time!”

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and welcome to week SEVEN of our Summer Fun Challenge! 

We (my siblings and I) grew up in a house with “Quiet Time.”  That meant that after a certain time at night — you simply did not make noise.  And if you did — well, my parents were the type that actually imposed consequences for actions!  So…let’s just say, you didn’t want to go there!

As a kid, being able to stay up late to watch Honeymooners re-runs seemed like no big deal.  In retrospect, I totally understand.  My father had to get up very early to go to work — and my mother got up with him — so sleep was really important.  It’s pretty important to me now, too — and I don’t even have kids!

As grown-ups, we Churches still love our quiet time!  Rob especially.  He loved hours upon hours of solitude.  It’s one thing he really taught me as an adult — the value of time alone.

And yet…here we are, at the height of summer and busier than ever, right?!  The shore is bustling with activity…daytrippers, weekenders, extended-stayers, landscapers, lifeguard whistles, concerts, activities, something to do…every…single…day!  Perhaps you feel it too — the pressure that builds as we turn the calendar to August and “Back-to-School” looms in the distance.  So much to do…so little time…and the countdown clock to Labor Day is on!

Our instinct is to pack it all in…to do more, to take advantage of the nice weather, to make hay while the sun shines!

And yet — our bodies are telling us just the opposite!  To sit, to rest, to watch, to wait.  Can you feel it too?  The outside pressure to squeeze every last drop out of our long summer days — and the internal pleading to stop and slow down?

It’s enough to make a girl (or boy) crazy!

Your assignment for this week: Don’t get crazy…GET QUIET!  It is easy to get swept up into the busyness of summer.  Even vacations — intended to take you away from it all — can take on a life of their own so big and harried, you come back feeling like you need a vacation from your vacation!  Fight the urge to pack it all in…and take some time to get quiet.  This may be as simple as turning off the TV and going to bed early.  It may mean sleeping in or lounging in bed with a good book rather than rushing out to run errands.  It may mean sitting on your porch or deck and watching the sprinkler sprinkle and the grass grow for a bit.  It could mean staying on the beach until after sunset, rather than rushing out to eat dinner at the same time as the rest of the world.  Or sitting on a bench and watching night fall and the moon rise over your hometown.  It may even mean a few precious hours home alone to clean or tidy up — or blasting your favorite rock music when there’s no one else around to tell you to turn it down!

When the world turns up the noise — take a hint and schedule some QUIET TIME!

Spread Happyness — and share your thoughts in the comments!  What does QUIET TIME mean to you?!

7/31/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

PS: FIVE WEEKS TO GO!  Our FUN LIST is still growing — keep ’em coming!!! 

– “One Tank Trips”
– Surprise trip for spouse or loved one
– Kayaking
– Beach time
– BBQ’s
– Tourist for the day in nearby city
– Walking the boards
– Rock climbing
– Scuba diving
– Touring an estate
– Time with family
– Sitting on the porch
– Watching for rainbows
– Learning to surf
– Gardening
– Writing a book
– Working on a “summer” project
– Moving to a new town
– Planning a spa day (or half-day, or even lunch hour)
– Taking Fridays (or Mondays) off!
– Day at the ballpark (Minor League stadiums are great, too!)
– Outside concerts/music events
– Hot air balloon ride/festival
– Pool volleyball (a Church-family classic!)
– Take yourself or someone you love for ice cream!
– Weed your front yard garden (and talk with neighbors and folks walking by!)
– Lose yourself in wonderful music, either listening or singing
– Play in the grassy backyard
– Play with your dog (or maybe your neighbor’s dog!)
– Sing karaoke
– Explore your town, county, state…through food and drink!
– Visit a farm
– Make plans to see friends you don’t often get to see (or schedule a gathering!)
– Blind-folded Make-overs!  (Great for a rainy day!  Bonus points if you go out in public after!)

(What are we missing?  Send me your ideas and I’ll add them to the list!)

The Red Bandits! (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #45 – Summer Fun Challenge: “Pool Volleyball” (and other ways to GET WET!)

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and welcome to week SIX of our Summer Fun Challenge!  We are HALFWAY there!  (And if you still have ideas to share — please send them my way!)

Volleyball has long been a Church Family tradition.  As a little girl I remember the “grown-ups” playing volleyball in our backyard at home during family picnics.  These were adult games with high stakes — and the kids simply were not allowed to play!

Fast forward a decade or so — and my older brother and sister got homes (and yards) of their own!  Volleyball was back — and Rob and Jim were the team to beat!  It was the “Red Bandits” (as Rob would call them) versus everyone else!  (Some kids were brave enough to join…but it was definitely still a play at your own risk situation!)

And then…someone had the brilliant idea of moving the volleyball game into the pool!  And a whole new family activity was born!  It was still the Red Bandits versus everyone else — but at least we stayed nice and cool while we lost…over and over again!  😉

Whatever it is you usually enjoy doing — get creative and modify it to a water activity!  I recently saw a video of a kickball game modified with slip-n-slides as base paths and kiddie-pools as bases.  You can pitch batting practice with water balloons.  I’ve seen more than one video of a bikes and skateboards being launched off a ramp into a lake.  And there are plenty of strength training and cardio moves designed for water resistance…and now you can even up the ante and practice your yoga on a paddleboard!

Your assignment for this week: GET WET!!!  I know many of you are living in areas with record temps right now — and with that comes the tendency to limit physical activity.  Sometimes the heat just makes it plain hard to move.  But don’t despair!  Head to your favorite lake, pool, or watering hole and jump in!  When we were kids — we spent HOURS in our neighbor’s pool playing Marco Polo, Aquaman, and other pool games.  As teens — we headed to the community pool to practice our can-openers, watermelons, and cannon-balls off the high dive!  Now — as working adults — we each still head to the water after a long hot day of work or commuting.  There is nothing like the attitude adjustment that comes after a long, cold soak in the pool (or lake or ocean) — not to mention the sleep that comes afterward!

So beat the heat…and GET WET this week!

Spread Happyness — and share your favorite water activities in the comments!

7/24/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

PS: Our FUN LIST is still growing!  I’ll keep adding your ideas to the list — and pick one at random for each weekly challenge.  Keep ’em coming!!! 

– “One Tank Trips”
– Surprise trip for spouse or loved one
– Kayaking
– Beach time
– BBQ’s
– Tourist for the day in nearby city
– Walking the boards
– Rock climbing
– Scuba diving
– Touring an estate
– Time with family
– Sitting on the porch
– Watching for rainbows
– Learning to surf
– Gardening
– Writing a book
– Working on a “summer” project
– Moving to a new town
– Planning a spa day (or half-day, or even lunch hour)
– Taking Fridays (or Mondays) off!
– Day at the ballpark (Minor League stadiums are great, too!)
– Outside concerts/music events
– Hot air balloon ride/festival
– Pool volleyball (a Church-family classic!)
– Take yourself or someone you love for ice cream!
– Weed your front yard garden (and talk with neighbors and folks walking by!)
– Lose yourself in wonderful music, either listening or singing
– Play in the grassy backyard
– Play with your dog (or maybe your neighbor’s dog!)
– Sing karaoke
– Explore your town, county, state…through food and drink!
– Visit a farm
– Make plans to see friends you don’t often get to see (or schedule a gathering!)
– Blind-folded Make-overs!  (Great for a rainy day!  Bonus points if you go out in public after!)

(What are we missing?  Send me your ideas and I’ll add them to the list!)

My Co-Pilot! (Photo Credit: Grace Church)

Week #44 – Summer Fun Challenge: “One Tank Trips!”

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and welcome to week five of our Summer Fun Challenge!

I’ve mentioned before that Rob loved long rides.  I have his car — and I’m amazed at how many miles he put on it in just a couple of years!  That boy LOVED to drive!

Summer is now in full swing — and what better way to satisfy your wanderlust than by jumping in the car and taking a nice long ride?!  But where?  Before you beat the usual path…get out an old fashioned map (or print one off the web) and draw a couple of circles around your town: a 50-mile radius, a 100-mile radius, and a 150-mile radius.

One Tank Trips are designed to work with your gas tank.  The average car can drive about 300 miles on one fill up — 150 miles out, 150 miles back.  That could mean 3.0 hours worth of driving though…and an overnight stay.  That’s why I recommend a 50-mile (under 1 hour) and 100-mile (under 2 hours) radius, as well.

• 150 miles: These destinations are likely to require a little planning, some advanced preparations, and possibly an overnight stay.  Don’t just look to the beach or the lakes…look for parks for camping, mountains for climbing, historic towns for exploring, or amusement parks for a full day of fun.  From the Jersey Shore, this covers a radius from West Point, NY to Lancaster, PA to Rehoboth Beach, DE and almost all of Long Island!
• 100 miles:  These are your day trips.  Think of concerts, antiquing, hiking, swimming, museums, aquariums, and exploring.  Again — from the Jersey Shore this includes Coney Island and Jones Beach to the East, Sleepy Hollow and the quaint little towns along the Hudson River to the North, Bethlehem and the Delaware Water Gap to the West, and Cape May and Atlantic City to the South!
• 50 miles: These trips are less than one hour away.  Have lunch or dinner at a special place, plan an activity, organize a play date or reunion, attend a fair, pamper yourself, or spend some time on the porch with a friend!

Finally — and these are the fun ones — look in your own backyard!  Play tourist in your own town.  If a friend visited you — where would you absolutely have to take them?!  Where I live — this means a visit to the beach, a walk on the boards, a tour of our little Victorian town, and a romp through historic Asbury Park.  Back home, this might include a drive around our beautiful lake — and definitely a stop at Cliff’s for ice cream!!!

Your assignment for the week:  HIT THE ROAD!  Gas up, stock some snacks, open your windows, and let your hair FLY!  (But wherever you go…stay off your phone!)  Enjoy the scenery, talk with your travel companions, open the windows and breathe the air of a different place or town.  Listen to music…or drive in silence.  Get out, explore, stretch your legs — and let the good times roll!

Where would you go on a full tank of gas — and what would be on your playlist?

Spread Happyness — share your One Tank Trip ideas in the comments!!!

7/17/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

PS: Our FUN LIST is still growing!  I’ll keep adding your ideas to the list — and pick one at random for each weekly challenge.  Keep ’em coming!!! 

– “One Tank Trips”
– Surprise trip for spouse or loved one
– Kayaking
– Beach time
– BBQ’s
– Tourist for the day in nearby city
– Walking the boards
– Rock climbing
– Scuba diving
– Touring an estate
– Time with family
– Sitting on the porch
– Watching for rainbows
– Learning to surf
– Gardening
– Writing a book
– Working on a “summer” project
– Moving to a new town
– Planning a spa day (or half-day, or even lunch hour)
– Taking Fridays (or Mondays) off!
– Day at the ballpark (Minor League stadiums are great, too!)
– Outside concerts/music events
– Hot air balloon ride/festival
– Pool volleyball (a Church-family classic!)
– Take yourself or someone you love for ice cream!
– Weed your front yard garden (and talk with neighbors and folks walking by!)
– Lose yourself in wonderful music, either listening or singing
– Play in the grassy backyard
– Play with your dog (or maybe your neighbor’s dog!)
– Sing karaoke
– Explore your town, county, state…through food and drink!
– Visit a farm
– Make plans to see friends you don’t often get to see (or schedule a gathering!)
– Blind-folded Make-overs!  (Great for a rainy day!  Bonus points if you go out in public after!)

(What are we missing?  Send me your ideas and I’ll add them to the list!)

“Walked these boards and rode the waves…” (Photo credit: Grace Church)

[Editor’s note: This week’s post comes on the heels of losing yet another beautiful soul too soon: to the family, friends, loved ones, classmates, bandmates, and all who knew and loved Rob Kalp (HHS class of 1988) — my heart is with you in the days, weeks, and months ahead.  And to Rob Kalp — who left a legacy of love, life, laughter, and music — this post is for you!]

Week #43 – Summer Fun Challenge: “Walk the Boards and Ride the Waves!”

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and welcome to week four of our Summer Fun Challenge!

In the midst of all the parades and parties and fireworks last week…a new memorial planter quietly appeared on the boardwalk in Ocean Grove.  A joint gift from the Church Family (including my parents, siblings, sister- and brother-in-law, Jim and Renee), the planter’s inscription reads:

Robert Church, Jr.  1974-2014
Walked these boards and rode the waves.
Loved and Remembered Always

Since Rob disappeared from our boardwalk early last year (he last visited in March of 2014, just before his diagnosis) — I have been looking to the boardwalk every day to see his 6-foot-something frame, his big wave, and his confident stride.  Every night I come home and make my turn onto Ocean Ave. — only to be reminded of his absence in this beautiful place.  A place we shared as a family since childhood — and continued to share into our adulthood.

Even after I felt the rocky dirt of his freshly dug grave in my hands — this longing to see him here, in this place, has dogged me unresolved.

But when I turned that corner last week — the same corner I’ve turned hundreds of times since then — and saw his planter sitting on the boardwalk in the rain, something immediately changed.  His presence was no longer absent.  He was here.  Indeed — a boy named Rob Church lived.  He walked these boards.  He rode these waves.  And now…this square foot of Ocean Grove belongs uniquely to him.  For me…he was home.

Through all the years we visited Ocean Grove — as children, teens, adults, and friends — I never dreamed our world would come to this.  Benches and planters were for old people, maybe even pets, but not for us.  We were young, vital, alive.  And then it occurred to me…that is the point of the plaque.  Life is about what you do, where you do it, and who you do it with.  The plaques and benches along the boardwalk are filled with legacies: “…who loved Ocean Grove…”, “…who helped us all to grow…”, “whose happiness was a day at the beach…”

If you had a plaque…what would yours say?

This week’s assignment: LIVE YOUR INSCRIPTION!!!  Walk the boards!  Ride the waves!  Spend time doing YOUR favorite activity!  If someone were to write a memorial plaque about you…what would it say?  Where would they put it?  Spend time there doing that thing as if it was your last.  Imagine how you might want to be remembered…then make it a point to LIVE IT!  Do it with love…do it with laughter…and above all: do it with Happyness!

Don’t wait!  Live your legacy today!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!

7/10/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

PS: Our FUN LIST is still growing!  I’ll keep adding your ideas to the list — and pick one at random for each weekly challenge.  Keep ’em coming!!!

– “One Tank Trips”
– Surprise trip for spouse or loved one
– Kayaking
– Beach time
– BBQ’s
– Tourist for the day in nearby city
– Walking the boards
– Rock climbing
– Scuba diving
– Touring an estate
– Time with family
– Sitting on the porch
– Watching for rainbows
– Learning to surf
– Gardening
– Writing a book
– Working on a “summer” project
– Moving to a new town
– Planning a spa day (or half-day, or even lunch hour)
– Taking Fridays (or Mondays) off!
– Day at the ballpark (Minor League stadiums are great, too!)
– Outside concerts/music events
– Hot air balloon ride/festival
– Pool volleyball (a Church-family classic!)
– Take yourself or someone you love for ice cream!
– Weed your front yard garden (and talk with neighbors and folks walking by!)
– Lose yourself in wonderful music, either listening or singing
– Play in the grassy backyard
– Play with your dog (or maybe your neighbor’s dog!)
– Sing karaoke
– Explore your town, county, state…through food and drink!
– Visit a farm
– Make plans to see friends you don’t often get to see (or schedule a gathering!)
– Blind-folded Make-overs!  (Great for a rainy day!  Bonus points if you go out in public after!)

(What are we missing?  Send me your ideas and I’ll add them to the list!)

With Auntie Mary on her 100th Birthday! (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #42 – Summer Fun Challenge: “Family Time!”

(Or…as Rob would say it…”Faaaaaamily time!”)

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and welcome to week three of our Summer Fun Challenge!

This weekend we celebrate Independence Day!  So it’s a little ironic that this week’s topic is about “family time”.  But stick with me…because it’s not what you might think!

Many of you have mentioned to me that “time with family” is on your summer fun list.  I understand!  I’m blessed with a family that I actually enjoy spending time with — so I totally get it.  But for many people, family time can be stressful or toxic or just downright harmful.  For those people, family time is not fun time.  It’s a fearful and confusing time.  And yet — there may be obligations that force some togetherness.  What then?

Here’s a few (probably overly simplistic) tips to a pretty complex problem:

First — feel free to decline.  We have a great family unit and there were many times that Rob would miss things in order to go do the things he wanted to do most.  Who knew that he would be SO right to spend each and every day doing exactly as he wished?!  Your life is short and precious…do what you need to do to make yourself happy.  You’re the only one who will have to answer for it in the end.

Second — if you absolutely have to accept an invitation, at least acknowledge to yourself that it is an obligation.  Just shedding light on the difference between something you WANT to do and something you HAVE to do can bring some relief.  We all have things we have to do — and we manage to do them anyway.  Stepping back to assess the situation may give you the space you need to protect yourself, see things objectively, or steer clear of any hot topics!

Third — set a time limit.  I’ve heard more than one story of people who have learned to set a time limit for family gatherings.  One person I follow knows that three hours is it — and sets his watch to it.  He doesn’t announce it to everyone — but he’s managed to find a window that works for him to get in, get caught up, and get out while he still loves everyone!

Finally — if you have a happy family unit, share it with someone!  😉

This week’s assignment: Enjoy your “family time!”  That means — think about the amount of time necessary for you to actually enjoy being with your family.  For some — it’s never enough.  If that’s you, count your blessings and share your happiness with others!  For others — never sounds just about right.  If so, my heart is with you.  I know this is seriously complex stuff.  Mourn your loss.  Love them from afar.  And still — share your happiness with others!  For the rest — it might just mean getting up an hour before the kids go bonkers, or stopping to work out before you get home from the job, or making sure you have that afternoon nap you really enjoy on a Saturday (even when company is over!).

Keep Summer-time Fun Time!  ENJOY yourself — and your family!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts and ideas in the comments!  How do you make sure you enjoy “family time?”

7/3/15 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

PS: Our FUN LIST is still growing!  I’ll keep adding your ideas to the list — and pick one at random for each weekly challenge.  Keep ’em coming!!!

– “One Tank Trips”
– Surprise trip for spouse or loved one
– Kayaking
– Beach time
– BBQ’s
– Tourist for the day in nearby city
– Walking the boards
– Rock climbing
– Scuba diving
– Touring an estate
– Time with family
– Sitting on the porch
– Watching for rainbows
– Learning to surf
– Gardening
– Writing a book
– Working on a “summer” project
– Moving to a new town
– Planning a spa day (or half-day, or even lunch hour)
– Taking Fridays (or Mondays) off!
– Day at the ballpark (Minor League stadiums are great, too!)
– Outside concerts/music events
– Hot air balloon ride/festival
– Pool volleyball (a Church-family classic!)
– Take yourself or someone you love for ice cream!
– Weed your front yard garden (and talk with neighbors and folks walking by!)
– Lose yourself in wonderful music, either listening or singing
– Play in the grassy backyard
– Play with your dog (or maybe your neighbor’s dog!)
– Sing karaoke
– Explore your town, county, state…through food and drink!
– Visit a farm
– Make plans to see friends you don’t often get to see (or schedule a gathering!)
– Blind-folded Make-overs!  (Great for a rainy day!  Bonus points if you go out in public after!)

(What are we missing?  Send me your ideas and I’ll add them to the list!)