(Editor’s note: The final count is in!  Two individuals were so inspired by your updates and generosity — they donated over 50 individual toys and games to Toys-for-Tots in Netcong, NJ.  This puts our count at nearly 100 gifts — if not over!  I cannot thank you all enough for your generosity, support, enthusiasm, and encouragement for this first attempt to Spread Happyness in a tangible way through this website.  I look forward to finding more ways to Spread the Wealth in 2015!  WAY TO GO, TEAM HAPPYNESS!  I am so proud of you!!!)

#50 (Photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #14 – Looking Ahead! (Remember the “Why?!” behind your what!)

Rob loved what we used to call “Why?!” moments.  Movies like “The Wrestler”, “Titanic”, “Rudy”, and “Platoon” all have them — that point when all hope seems lost.  “Why, Grace…Why?!”  It makes for great entertainment.

But “Why?!” can also be the difference between tragedy and triumph.

Answered with “because…” — it can be a tragic combination.  “Because…” looks BACK at the circumstances and tries to make sense of it, to identify a reason, or maybe even apply a meaning.  “Because…” can be easy, because it sees what is already.

Answered with “so that…” — it can be a recipe for triumph.  “So that…” looks FORWARD to the result of your why, the things you will do or change to reach a NEW conclusion, the meaning you apply AHEAD of time!  “So that…” is hard, because it sees what isn’t — yet!

Your assignment for this week: This is the last post of 2014 — and I know many of you are already looking at your goals, dreams, aspirations, and visions for the new year ahead.  Conventional goal setting guidelines will tell you to be SMART about your WHATs: Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely.  I’m asking you to consider being even SMART-ER and putting a WHY behind your WHAT by adding EMOTION and RESULT to the mix!
WHY?  So that I can FEEL            (fill in the blank)                          .
WHY?  So that I can achieve/accomplish/acquire/arrive at/accept            (fill in the blank)            .

Think about where you want to be next year this time…and then ask yourself WHY?!

Spread Happyness — share your WHATs and your WHYs in the comments!

A continued “Happy Heart-mas!” to all…and a SMART-ER New Year, too!

See you in 2015!!!

12/26/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

Final 50 for #50 Toy Drive Update  (Thanks to all who donated and supported this drive!)
AS OF 12/26/14:
1. Thomas the Tank Activity Toy was donated at Dollar General in Netcong, NJ.
2. Two Lego sets and a Lincoln Log set were donated at Toys for Tots in Stockholm, NJ.
3. Two Operation Christmas Child boxes, Baby Chicks, a Bible, and money to fund Thanksgiving baskets were donated at various locations near Succasunna, NJ.
4. Two Hallmark Jingle Bell Stuffed Animals will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
5. CLUE game will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
6. Hot Wheels Assortment was donated near Stanhope, NJ.
7. Donation made to EFA (Endometriosis Foundation of America) in Robert’s memory.
8. Barbie VW beetle donated to Community Hope’s SSVF Program (supportive services for veteran families)
9. A baby doll with a pacifier and crib, a doc mc stuffin gift pack, and home made loom bracelets were donated to the Hackettstown Police Department in Hackettstown, NJ.
10. 2 stuffed horses, a Crayola creation set and a remote control car were donated to Toys for Tots in Parsippany, NJ.
11. Four wigs (along with bandanas) were donated to Carol G. Simon Cancer Center in Summit, NJ.
12. Five gifts — Mega Blocks, a play xylophone, a Fisher Price Rock-a-Stack, a baby doll, and a plush puppy dog — were donated for a sweet little girl through Angel Tree in Tampa, FL.
13. A monetary donation was made to Toys for Tots near Flanders, NJ.
14. A donation was made to Mylestone Horse Rescue in Rob’s name.
15. Two very generous donations were made in Hopatcong, NJ: Gift #1 — 2 sweaters, 2 mulitmedia pads, a color wheel, and 126 mulitmedia art set. Gift #2 — tie dye kit, package of white tee shirts, cross stitch kit, crewel kit, soap making kit, nail kit, 2 bottles of nail polish, nail treatment, nail oil, base coat and top coat, and lots of socks!
16. A donation was made in Rob’s memory to Memorial Sloan Kettering.
17. Donations were made at Toys for Tots and Bergen County animal shelter in New Jersey.
18. A donation was made in Rob’s name to Eleventh Hour Animal Rescue.
19. A $50 donation was made in Rob’s name to United Methodist Global Aviation Ministry.
20. Three $50 donations were made to Operation Holiday, Toys for Tots, and Wounded Warriors in Rob’s name, along with over 50+ toy (and food) donations in Netcong, NJ to DOUBLE OUR EFFORTS!!!.

*** THIS PUTS AT NEARLY 100 INDIVIDUAL DONATIONS!  WAY TO GO, TEAM HAPPYNESS!!!***

#50 (Photo credit: Grace Church)

(Editor’s note: Thanks once again to all who’ve generously responded with donations or pledges for the 50 for #50 virtual toy drive!  We now have 16 individuals confirmed who have donated about 36 gifts comprised of over 52 items!  Check the footer of this page for an up-to-date list of toys/donations and locations.  And remember…we still have six days to go!  If you’d like to join the tribe, just let us know what you donated and where…and maybe even post a photo to Facebook!  I’ll keep the update going — and announce our grand total on Friday 12/26.  THANK YOU TEAM HAPPYNESS!!!)

Week #14 – Do you have “A Happy Heart”?  (Hint: What is your face telling you?)

There is an old proverb: “A happy heart makes a cheerful face.”  When I found the words “A Happy Heart” on the board this week…I needed only to remember Rob’s radiant smile and gleaming eyes to know that, indeed, he had a happy heart.  Yes, cancer tried to take that from him…but I believe that Rob lived mot of his life with a happy heart, largely because I believe that Rob knew exactly what made him happy!

Do you?  If you’re not sure…take a look in the mirror.  What does your face tell you?

Your assignment for this week: I know everyone is busy — so I want to keep this easy and fun.  We are about to enter one of the most stressful weeks of the year.  So many of you are focused on making others happy — or expecting someone else to magically return the favor.  I’m asking YOU to pay attention to what makes YOU happy!  It may be as simple as your silly cat or dog, words to an old song, or an irreverent or inappropriate joke you can only share with a dear friend…or maybe it’s a bigger challenge like spending time only with people you enjoy, getting that extra sleep your body is craving, or saying no to something you honestly don’t want to do.  Take note of the moments when you feel your heart lift.  And catch yourself in the mirror once in a while.  What is your face telling you?!

Keep a list of what makes you happy, and check it twice.  It may be the difference between naughty and nice this holiday week!  😉

(By the way…those are all things Rob did to keep his heart happy! Now it’s your turn…)

Spread Happyness — and tell us what makes your heart happy in the comments!

I wish each and every one of you “A Happy Heart-mas!”

12/19/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

50 for #50 Toy Drive Update
AS OF 12/23/14:
1. Thomas the Tank Activity Toy was donated at Dollar General in Netcong, NJ.
2. Two Lego sets and a Lincoln Log set were donated at Toys for Tots in Stockholm, NJ.
3. Two Operation Christmas Child boxes, Baby Chicks, a Bible, and money to fund Thanksgiving baskets were donated at various locations near Succasunna, NJ.
4. Two Hallmark Jingle Bell Stuffed Animals will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
5. CLUE game will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
6. Hot Wheels Assortment was donated near Stanhope, NJ.
7. Donation made to EFA (Endometriosis Foundation of America) in Robert’s memory.
8. Barbie VW beetle donated to Community Hope’s SSVF Program (supportive services for veteran families)
9. A baby doll with a pacifier and crib, a doc mc stuffin gift pack, and home made loom bracelets were donated to the Hackettstown Police Department in Hackettstown, NJ.
10. 2 stuffed horses, a Crayola creation set and a remote control car were donated to Toys for Tots in Parsippany, NJ.
11. Four wigs (along with bandanas) were donated to Carol G. Simon Cancer Center in Summit, NJ.
12. Five gifts — Mega Blocks, a play xylophone, a Fisher Price Rock-a-Stack, a baby doll, and a plush puppy dog — were donated for a sweet little girl through Angel Tree in Tampa, FL.
13. A monetary donation was made to Toys for Tots near Flanders, NJ.
14. A donation was made to Mylestone Horse Rescue in Rob’s name.
15. Two very generous donations were made in Hopatcong, NJ: Gift #1 — 2 sweaters, 2 mulitmedia pads, a color wheel, and 126 mulitmedia art set. Gift #2 — tie dye kit, package of white tee shirts, cross stitch kit, crewel kit, soap making kit, nail kit, 2 bottles of nail polish, nail treatment, nail oil, base coat and top coat, and lots of socks!
16. A donation was made in Rob’s memory to Memorial Sloan Kettering.
17. Donations were made at Toys for Tots and Bergen County animal shelter in New Jersey.
18. A donation was made in Rob’s name to Eleventh Hour Animal Rescue.
19. A $50 donation was made in Rob’s name to United Methodist Global Aviation Ministry.

#50 “How ya’ doing?” (Photo credit: Grace Church)

(Editor’s note: Thanks again to all who’ve generously responded with donations or pledges for the 50 for #50 virtual toy drive!  We have 12 individuals confirmed so far, with a total of at least 31 gifts given in Rob’s honor to-date.  We are so close!  Check the footer of this page for an up-to-date list of toys and locations — and if you’d like to join the tribe, just let us know what you donated and where…and maybe even post a photo to Facebook!  I’ll update the total each week, with a grand total on Friday 12/26.  THANK YOU TEAM HAPPYNESS!!!)

Week #13 – “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

It’s not surprising that someone left these words on the board at Rob’s services.  This is a question we hear in passing every single day (How are ya?  How ya’ doing?) — but few people really intend to get an answer.  However, as many of you know, Rob was not a casual question asker-er.  When he asked you something — he meant it.  He wanted to know the answer — and he was prepared to take the time to get it.  He wasn’t afraid of an honest answer either.  In fact, he seemed to delight in it!  I’d venture a guess that much of the happiness in our individual relationships with him was built on this kind of ease and honesty.  It is one of the things I selfishly miss the most.

13 Weeks is significant — it’s exactly one quarter of a calendar year, one season, and three complete months since SpreadHappyness was born with the mission to look at the little ways our beloved friend/brother/mate/partner brought happiness to people’s lives — and challenge ourselves to carry this light forward to others each week:

1. Wave Big
2. Say Hello Like You Mean It
3. “Shakers!” (aka Nicknames…)
4. Got “Character”?
5. How to be “Beautiful”
6. “Pure Energy” (Are you an outlet or a plug?)
7. Don’t make pretend…make plans!  Go…”Get Your Wings!”
8. Are you a “Smiling Guy” (or gal)?
9. Ready for some “Strange Magic”?
10. “Gabes and Toyds”  (What’s on your wish list?)
11. There’s no (i) in “Generous”
12. There’s no (i) in “Thoughtful” either!
13. “Hey, how ya’ doing?”

Happiness is not an accident.  It’s a choice.  We CAN create happiness…one week, and one interaction, at a time!

Your assignment for this weekend: Pick someone (or maybe try everyone) and ask sincerely: “Hey, how ya’ doing?”  Be prepared to spend a little time listening to an honest answer…and be ready to offer words of encouragement whether it’s good news or bad news.  This includes being excited/enthusiastic/encouraging to someone who is starting something new — or being patient/understanding/steadfast toward someone who is struggling.  One great answer to either scenario is simply: “I believe in you!” (and mean it!)

And so, let me ask you…How are you doing?  Have you spread happiness lately?  Is there anything I can do to help or encourage or celebrate with you?  Because…and this is true…I believe in you!

Spread Happyness this week…and tell us how you are doing in the comments!

12/12/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

PS: Congratulations to Amy Wood-Oblen for a successful Monster Truck Rides for Toys event last Sunday — and thanks to all who donated!

50 for #50 Toy Drive Update
AS OF 12/23/14:
1. Thomas the Tank Activity Toy was donated at Dollar General in Netcong, NJ.
2. Two Lego sets and a Lincoln Log set were donated at Toys for Tots in Stockholm, NJ.
3. Two Operation Christmas Child boxes, Baby Chicks, a Bible, and money to fund Thanksgiving baskets were donated at various locations near Succasunna, NJ.
4. Two Hallmark Jingle Bell Stuffed Animals will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
5. CLUE game will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
6. Hot Wheels Assortment was donated near Stanhope, NJ.
7. Donation made to EFA (Endometriosis Foundation of America) in Robert’s memory.
8. Barbie VW beetle donated to Community Hope’s SSVF Program (supportive services for veteran families)
9. A baby doll with a pacifier and crib, a doc mc stuffin gift pack, and home made loom bracelets were donated to the Hackettstown Police Department in Hackettstown, NJ.
10. 2 stuffed horses, a Crayola creation set and a remote control car were donated to Toys for Tots in Parsippany, NJ.
11. Four wigs (along with bandanas) were donated to Carol G. Simon Cancer Center in Summit, NJ.
12. Five gifts — Mega Blocks, a play xylophone, a Fisher Price Rock-a-Stack, a baby doll, and a plush puppy dog — were donated for a sweet little girl through Angel Tree in Tampa, FL.
13. A monetary donation was made to Toys for Tots near Flanders, NJ.
14. A donation was made to Mylestone Horse Rescue in Rob’s name.
15. Two very generous donations were made in Hopatcong, NJ: Gift #1 — 2 sweaters, 2 mulitmedia pads, a color wheel, and 126 mulitmedia art set. Gift #2 — tie dye kit, package of white tee shirts, cross stitch kit, crewel kit, soap making kit, nail kit, 2 bottles of nail polish, nail treatment, nail oil, base coat and top coat, and lots of socks!
16. A donation was made in Rob’s memory to Memorial Sloan Kettering.
17. Donations were made at Toys for Tots and Bergen County animal shelter in New Jersey.
18. A donation was made in Rob’s name to Eleventh Hour Animal Rescue.
19. A $50 donation was made in Rob’s name to United Methodist Global Aviation Ministry.

#50 (Photo credit: Grace Church)

(Editor’s note: Thanks to all who’ve generously responded with donations or pledges for the 50 for #50 virtual toy drive!  We have 8 individuals confirmed so far, with a total of at least 15 gifts given in Rob’s honor to-date, and there are at least a dozen more promised.  Check the footer of this page for an up-to-date list of toys and locations — and if you’d like to join the tribe, just let us know what you donated and where…and maybe even post a photo!  I’ll update the total each week, with a grand total at the end of the month.  THANK YOU TEAM HAPPYNESS!!!)

Week #12 – There is no (i) in “Thoughtful” either!  (aka 14 Ways to Spread Happyness this Holiday Season!)

In the lower right hand corner of the word board, there is an anonymous note: “Thoughtful and Warm.”  The word “thoughtful” jumped out at me.  What does it mean to be thoughtful — and how is that a recipe for happiness?

Last week I wrote that it take (U) to be “Generous”.  Well…it takes (U) to be “Thoughtful” too.  In fact, it takes TWO of (U)!  Because the only way to be thought-ful — is to be full-of-thought for someone else!

But let’s face it — the holidays can be a hurried and stressful time of year, with little time to think at all!  Forced togetherness, unmet expectations, year-end work demands, more commitments to others, less time for ourselves, not to mention sadness related to those who are missing from our celebrations.  And now I’m asking you to think of others!

But perhaps now — when we feel we can least afford it — is the PERFECT time to stop and think about what it means to be “thoughtful”!  I found 14 synonyms that shed some light — and they may be things you are doing already!  Above all…the one common denominator in all these things is that there is someone else involved.  Thoughtfulness indeed takes TWO of (U)!

• Astute – smart, quick, perceptive
• Attentive – giving attention; observant
• Careful – cautious, exact, thorough
• Considerate – awareness or regard for another’s feelings
• Courteous – mannerly, polite
• Deliberate – carefully considered, intentional
• Discreet – judicious; prudent
• Friendly – showing personal affection or regard
• Gracious – kind, benevolent, courteous
• Helpful – giving aid or assistance; of service
• Polite – well mannered
• Prudent – wise or judicious
• Tactful – appropriate, tasteful

Your assignment for this weekend: Did Rob touch your life in one of the 14 ways listed above — or is one of these a particular gift all your own?  If so, pay it forward this weekend to someone else who needs it (or maybe even to yourself…sometimes the wisest counsel comes from within!).  Otherwise — pick the one word that jumps out at you the most.  Make that your mission for the week ahead.  Try it on for size.  See if it improves your relationships or lightens your burdens — but above all, see if it SPREADS HAPPYNESS to those around (including you, too)!

Will you make time to be THOUGHTFUL about THOUGHTFULNESS this weekend?!

Spread Happyness — and share your thoughts in the comments!

12/5/14 by Grace Church
© Grace Church

UPDATE 12/5/14: Saturday’s Monster Truck Rides for Toys event has been canceled due to weather — and Sunday’s event has been moved to Hackettstown!  Amy Wood-Oblen (classmate of Rob’s) is holding a Monster Truck Rides for Toys event to benefit local families on Sunday, December 7th — now at Highview Farms — 416 Sand Shore Road on the border of Hackettstown/Budd Lake next to Sand Shore School.  Free monster truck rides to anyone who donates an unwrapped new toy at these events!  Check Amy Wood-Oblen’s FB page for details!

AS OF 12/23/14:
1. Thomas the Tank Activity Toy was donated at Dollar General in Netcong, NJ.
2. Two Lego sets and a Lincoln Log set were donated at Toys for Tots in Stockholm, NJ.
3. Two Operation Christmas Child boxes, Baby Chicks, a Bible, and money to fund Thanksgiving baskets were donated at various locations near Succasunna, NJ.
4. Two Hallmark Jingle Bell Stuffed Animals will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
5. CLUE game will be donated in Flanders, NJ.
6. Hot Wheels Assortment was donated near Stanhope, NJ.
7. Donation made to EFA (Endometriosis Foundation of America) in Robert’s memory.
8. Barbie VW beetle donated to Community Hope’s SSVF Program (supportive services for veteran families)
9. A baby doll with a pacifier and crib, a doc mc stuffin gift pack, and home made loom bracelets were donated to the Hackettstown Police Department in Hackettstown, NJ.
10. 2 stuffed horses, a Crayola creation set and a remote control car were donated to Toys for Tots in Parsippany, NJ.
11. Four wigs (along with bandanas) were donated to Carol G. Simon Cancer Center in Summit, NJ.
12. Five gifts — Mega Blocks, a play xylophone, a Fisher Price Rock-a-Stack, a baby doll, and a plush puppy dog — were donated for a sweet little girl through Angel Tree in Tampa, FL.
13. A monetary donation was made to Toys for Tots near Flanders, NJ.
14. A donation was made to Mylestone Horse Rescue in Rob’s name.
15. Two very generous donations were made in Hopatcong, NJ: Gift #1 — 2 sweaters, 2 mulitmedia pads, a color wheel, and 126 mulitmedia art set. Gift #2 — tie dye kit, package of white tee shirts, cross stitch kit, crewel kit, soap making kit, nail kit, 2 bottles of nail polish, nail treatment, nail oil, base coat and top coat, and lots of socks!
16. A donation was made in Rob’s memory to Memorial Sloan Kettering.
17. Donations were made at Toys for Tots and Bergen County animal shelter in New Jersey.
18. A donation was made in Rob’s name to Eleventh Hour Animal Rescue.
19. A $50 donation was made in Rob’s name to United Methodist Global Aviation Ministry.