Week #280 – How about “A Breath of Fresh Air”?

This past week, Facebook reminded me of a “memory” from this time of year in 2015. I was out taking a walk between NFL playoff games, and noticed that the trees on the North side of Main Street were blooming. Even in the middle of January…Spring was in the air!

And it felt so good!

It reminded me of this post from Week #20 — just a few months after Rob passed and someone remembered him to me as a “breath of fresh air.”

“A breath of fresh air…”  It’s one of those phrases we throw around a lot — but do you ever stop to think about what it really means?  The literal definition is a breath of air (most likely from outside) that isn’t stale or stinky.  Figuratively — it’s a new, innovative, or imaginative approach.  But did you know there is another meaning?  According to American Heritage Dictionary, it also means “a welcome arrival” — replacing the terms “breath of Heaven” or “breath of Spring”.

I found it especially poignant at the time (and still do, really) that someone who longed to take just one, long, easy breath — was remembered as a “breath of fresh air.”

It’s that cabin-fevery time of year again — and I’m still very much aware of areas of staleness in my own life: unpacked boxes, undone to-do’s, and other unfinished business — all standing in the way of new ideas, new approaches, new arrivals, solutions, or just a clear and happy head (and heart)!

How about you?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: How about a “breath of fresh air!” Are there areas of staleness in your life where you need “a breath of fresh air”?

• Cabin Fever — Maybe just a change of scenery is enough.  One of my fondest memories as a teen was when my parents would treat us to a day trip to the shore in the middle of winter.  We weren’t used to seeing it so barren and vacant.  My brother and I would walk the beach, eat lunch on the sand, and take in some much needed sun and salt air.  Take a ride, take a walk, or take a trip…get out from behind those four walls and see something new!
• Indecisive, Confused, Blocked — Are you asking the same people for input, feedback, and advice?  Maybe a new perspective is in order — someone else’s!  Seek out those who have achieved what you want, are on that track, or who know something about the topic at hand (maybe even someone who disagrees with you).  Fresh perspectives are the stone that sharpens the sword…seek them out and leverage them to their full effect!
• Welcome! — Are you rolling out the welcome mat for the right people in your life?  Are they people who lift you up or put you down?  (Maybe you need to put out the “closed” sign instead!)  And what about you?  When you cross someone else’s threshold, are you spreading happyness — or just stale and stinky air?

Get some fresh air this week — and give some in return!  Change your scenery, change your perspective, or change the company you keep.  Happyness in…Happyness out!

Spread Happyness…and share your “fresh air” ideas in the comments!

1/24/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #279 – Ten Practical Ways to Spread-the-Warmth during a Cold Snap!

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

I’m running out of daylight here on the West Coast so I thought I’d flash back to one of my earliest posts…Week #17 to be exact.

I had just visited my parents in early January 2015 (just a few months after Rob died) and I had some time to go through the many, many cards and letters they received.  In all the material I read, one of the most frequently used terms to describe Rob was “WARM.”

That may well have been the case…but since it was cold and Jersey was going through a cold snap at that time, my mind was on spreading warmth. So I came up with “Ten Practical Ways to Spread-the-Warmth.” Here they are:

At Home
1. Start someone’s car!  I know many of you have remote starts but there are still a few of us who don’t!  A warmed up car as you’re running out the door is such a blessing!
2. Leave the porch light on!  Nothing says “I love you” like a well-lit door.  (And nothing says, “Ha ha…I’m warm in here and you’re not!” as you fumble for your keys in a dark entryway!)
3. Boost the thermostat for loved ones.  I know a big, tough, maitre d’ who runs a dining room staff like a Don…and yet he told me he sets the thermostat to rise 15 minutes before his youngest gets up for school so that he’ll have a warm bathroom in the morning.  How sweet is that?!
4. Help carry in the groceries — or volunteer to bring home the food!  Either way, plan meals at home during a cold snap.  This not only saves money…it saves valuable time lost to deciding where to go, going there, waiting for your meal, and then coming home.  And who doesn’t need more time?!
5. Snuggle up with hot beverages and watch movies.  As a family, as a couple, with friends, with pets, or all alone…movie night is always a precious way to stay warm, get a little extra rest, and catch up on all those films that you missed during the holidays and nicer weather!

Outside the House
6. Bring donuts/coffee into work.  Be that guy (or gal) — and expect nothing in return!
7. Put the carts back!!!  (‘Nuff said!)
8. Take care of your gas station attendant.  I’ve lived in places where I’ve pumped my own — and I know how to do it — but man, it sure is nice to stay in the car on a cold day!  Be sure to thank that guy or gal who’s making that possible!
9. Know someone else who works outside?  Bring them a snack or something hot to drink!  (This is also a nice way to win over someone’s heart…just sayin’.)
10. Finally…Move It Along!  If someone who works outside is waiting on you to move or make their job easier (gas station attendant, crossing guard, mail carrier, garbage/recycling pick-up, delivery people, etc.) send a warm message and make a way — or move it along!

Your Happyness Challenge for the (Cold Winter) Week Ahead: Spread the Warmth! Does something here ring a bell?  Have you tried something and it worked?  Have someone ever done something like this for you? The cold weather gives us a unique opportunity to get cozy, care for others, and create new memories. Find ways to make it enjoyable for everyone around you!

Spread Happyness — and Spread the Warmth!  Share your ideas in the comments!

1/17/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #278 – Spread Happyness: PLAN AHEAD! (And USE those calendars!)

Happy Friday, Everyone!

Today is Friday, January 10th — and this is your annual reminder to unwrap and USE those cutesy calendars you received over the holidays!

By now, I hope you’ve had the chance to process and celebrate the year we just completed — and set some new goals or visions for the new year ahead.  (If not, click back to Week #276 and Week #277 for some ideas about how to do that.)

• Maybe you’ve picked your ONE WORD.
• Maybe you’ve completed an end-of-year review.
• Maybe you’ve taken a life-satisfaction assessment to see where you’re at — and where you need to grow.
• Maybe you’ve set some SMART goals — and you made them even SMART-ER by considering the WHY behind your WHAT.
• Maybe you’ve set up a daily tracking chart like Jerry Seinfeld’s “Don’t Break the Chain.”
• Maybe you have cleaned your slate for January and are focusing on “Big Rocks First.”

What next?

What do we do with all those goals, dreams, visions, aspirations, and insight?

Plan them!

It is well-documented that planning ahead is directly related to happiness. And not only that — scheduling your goals and commitments increases the chances that you will actually follow through with them.

There’s a lot of discussion about the virtues of paper calendars versus digital calendars.  Digital calendars have great portability and a low profile — but rarely are they in your face.  A password, and then one, two, maybe three clicks — not to mention competition with all those other apps once you’re unlocked.  They just don’t give you much information at a glance — or much time to really plan ahead.

A paper calendar, hanging on the wall by your bathroom sink or on your refrigerator in the kitchen, may not be all that high tech — but it is certainly high-profile.  It also gives you (and whomever you are sharing it with) time to ponder, compare, contribute, discuss, and yes — even plan ahead!

And many people are boosting their outlook by using FULL-YEAR wall calendars to track all the major events, holidays, appointments, and deadlines that are already set by the time we turn the calendar to January 1st — not to mention their personal goals and commitments.

I’ve long been a 90-day outlook-er myself: three months seems focused, manageable, and it fits nicely with the seasons…but this year I’m trying out a full year calendar again. It’s still intimidating…but a few years after more than a few major life changes (a job loss, a death in the family, and then a cross-country move to name a few) I’m finally starting to feel like I can plan further and further into the year ahead. I do so carefully, because I know that anything can happen. Still…a full year’s calendar reaffirms that time is moving, the year will pass, and I may as well try to make the most of it from where I stand today!

Why not try it?

There is an old proverb: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life.”  (Proverbs 13:13)  Don’t allow your daily or weekly schedule to rob you of the joy of planning ahead!  Start plotting your year today!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: PLAN AHEAD!  Perhaps someone gave you a cutesy calendar during the holidays — or you grabbed a freebie at your bank or pizza place without really thinking about where or how you’d use it.  I challenge you this week to HANG IT UP!  If you don’t like the pictures, tear out the calendar pages and arrange them in months, quarters — or the entire year at a glance.  Then open your personal daily planners, pull together all those school and activity calendars, queue up Google to search holiday dates — and start plotting your year!

• Start with the big holidays and three-day weekends, birthdays, and major events (like weddings, graduations, important anniversaries).
• I also like to mark the solstices/equinoxes, full moons, and time changes.
• Then move on to some of your goals.  Are you running a marathon?  Writing a book?  Growing a business?  Saving for a house?  Planning a vacation or next year’s holiday travel?  Start plotting your desires on the calendar by asking: where and when will this take place?

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  Share your favorite calendar tips — but most important, share your calendars with the ones you love!

1/10/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #277 – Happy New Year — and Welcome to 2020!!!

As I mentioned last week, I hope you made some time over the holidays to look back at 2019 and CELEBRATE the things that went right.

And, I hope you have a plan in place to keep track of the good stuff that will come your way in the year — and decade — ahead. Because we are on our way!

I just returned to Los Angeles after a week home on the East Coast. I’m barely unpacked, let alone un-Christmased — but I did take some time on New Year’s Day to sit down and reflect on the year past and the year ahead, using some of my favorite Year-in-Review tools:

“ONE WORD” — A few years ago I ran across a little red book called The ONE WORD That Will Change Your Life. The gist is this: while contemplating the year ahead — and working through a few questions (in the PDF on the website: www.getoneword.com) — you come up with ONE WORD that encapsulates what you want the year to mean to you. Then, you make a plan to keep it front and center to live out daily. What ONE WORD would you like to make your focus for 2019?

YEAR-END REVIEW — David Allen (author of Getting Things Done) offers a series of “Year-End Review” questions on his website (and, more recently, in a podcast episode) that prompt you to “complete and remember” the year behind — and “create” the year ahead. (The links are from previous years so just modify the years to 2018/2019.) You can move through this list quickly with first thoughts — or spend lots of time really unpacking things. What would you like to create for yourself in 2019?

CLEAN SWEEP — Another favorite is the “Clean Sweep Assessment” — a more mathematical measurement of personal satisfaction in four key areas of our lives: physical environment, personal well-being, money, and relationships. How do you tally up?

GOAL SETTING — There is always traditional goal-setting — take a dream and use the “SMART” acronym to break it down into: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound action steps. Just remember to put a little WHY behind your WHAT — and consider an even SMART-ER approach by adding EMOTION and RESULT to the mix by asking WHY? (“So that I can FEEL…” and “So that I can achieve/accomplish/acquire/arrive at/accept…etc.”)

FIRST 90 DAYS — A dear friend turned me on to the idea of quarterly goal setting/reviews when I first made the move to Los Angeles, and it seems to be the thing more recently. Rather than set goals for the entire year — especially when we’re uncertain about what an entire year will bring — set short-term goals for the next 30/60/90 days and reassess at regular intervals.

BIG ROCKS FIRST — This is an idea that resonated with me this year as I am committing to making more space for new things to come into my life. We’ve all heard the story of the teacher who challenges his/her class to fill a jar to maximum capacity using rocks, sand, and water. The best strategy, of course, is to put the big rocks in first. I’m starting January by just putting the biggest, most important rocks into my schedule — and adding as I go.

HABITS — And for all you compulsive types trying to build a daily habit — check out Jerry Seinfeld’s excuse-busting “Don’t Break the Chain” method (it’s not just for writers)! Or Google “habit tracker” to see how bullet journalers set up simple grids to create habits and hold themselves accountable daily.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: If you haven’t done so already, take some time this week to reflect on the year past — and to think about the year ahead. What are your goals, dreams, aspirations, and visions? Where do you want to be next year this time? How are you going to measure your success? What habits would you like to build? What are your big rocks? And what is your WHY?

And if you have a favorite reflection or goal-setting tool that you use, please share it with me in the comments or via email. And if there is some way that I can help you set a goal that will Spread Happyness to you or someone you love in 2020, please let me know that too!

Spread Happyness — share your dreams, goals, aspirations, or favorite tools in the comments! And best wishes for good health, Happyness, and wholeness in 2020!!!

1/3/20 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

[Editor’s Note: Re-post Alert — because celebrating is never a bad idea!]

Week #276 – CELEBRATE! (See you in 2020!)

So…how was your 2019?

For many people…2019 was another challenging year. Health issues, death, divorce, job changes, financial problems, stressful news cycles…the list goes on and on.

Believe me…I know how it feels to want to kick an entire year to the curb. (Hell, maybe the whole decade!)

The end of the calendar year seems to be a natural time to look back and reflect on the highs, the lows, what happened, what went wrong, and how we can fix it in the new year ahead.

And with a new decade starting, even more so!

This is exactly why in January, I challenge everyone to look forward into 2019 — and start keeping track of the good stuff.

Because it’s hard to love your life when it’s so easy to look back and come up with all the bad things that happened. We have to, as Rob’s friend Rob Nicholson said in a Facebook post at the end of 2014:

“Keep moving forward and celebrate and revel in what we have!”

So I challenged you at the beginning of this year to, once again, look ahead…WAY ahead.

To December 31st of 2019.

By the way…that’s Tuesday!

And I asked — Where do you want to be next year at this time?

Do you remember your answer? If not, don’t feel bad. Because I said at that time that I knew one thing for sure — It would take REMINDERS.

If you were one of the ones that kept track of your achievements, high points, and happy moments — please remember to SHARE and CELEBRATE them with the ones you love!

If you didn’t keep track, don’t worry. Take some time this week to go back through your calendar, your emails, your phone — whatever it takes to come up with enough reminders of all that you accomplished and did right this year!

Because I promise you…you did! And there is probably a lot to CELEBRATE!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: CELEBRATE the completion of another year — and another trip around the sun! SHARE your successes with others — and ENCOURAGE others to do the same! There will be plenty of time to look ahead and set new goals, focus on new targets, and dream new dreams for the year ahead. For this weekend — look back, and find things to LOVE about 2019! (And the decade behind!)

Bonus Challenge: Don’t count on yourself to remember everything about the new year going forward! Make a plan to curate the wins just as much as the losses so that you have a complete inventory come December 31st of 2020. Come up with a system for recording your achievements, successes, highlights, and otherwise happy times THROUGHOUT the new year! The most obvious way is to keep a dated list — in a journal, on your computer, via email, or on your phone — where you take time each day to review your activities and take note of anything special or significant. I keep a running list by date and habitually recount the day’s activities. To be honest, most days it’s pretty mundane — but the habit assures that when something notable happens I’m going to capture and remember it. Here are some other ideas from last year’s post:

Gratitude Tree — write what you’re grateful for on little shapes and fill an inside tree or wall mural up throughout the year (works in classrooms, too!).

Photo-journal — use cell-phone photos in a specific file or on Instagram to keep track of accomplishments. Or print them out to create a physical album you can flip through.

The Joy Jar or Happyness Jar! The idea is simple: you start on January 1st with an empty jar in a prominent location in your home — and you start dropping notes in it throughout the year about things that went well, things that make you happy, things you’re grateful for, achieved, or accomplished. At the end of the year you have a personal collection of happy memories to review — or immediate access throughout the year when you need a lift to face a challenge! One woman even collaged them on a monthly basis as a type of word-cloud to record as a journal.

The possibilities are endless — but the idea is always the same: make it a point to collect the good stuff! Because we need more of that. More focus on the wins. More focus on what’s right. More focus on loving our lives — so that we can live our lives more fully.

Spread Happyness — love your life, THIS year AND next! (CELEBRATE and ENCOURAGE others to do the same!)

12/27/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #275 – Have a “Happy Heart-mas!”

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

The holidays arrive in full force this week! So Blessed Solstice, Happy Hanukkah, and Merry Christmas to you all!

Once again, I’ve been keeping up with my own “Gratitude Challenge” in the days between Thanksgiving and New Year’s. It’s always a great way for me to ensure I’m keeping my own heart happy during one of the most busy and stressful times of the year.

(And it makes for great “memories” to pop up in my Facebook feed!)

As I wrote during the first Gratitude Challenge (Week #119), keeping focused on finding one thing a day to be grateful for actually primes me for keeping an eye out ALL DAY for the things that I appreciate, the things that are going well, and the things that make my heart happy.

Whatever holidays you are celebrating, we’re about to enter one of the most stressful weeks of the year.  If you are grieving a loss, a relocation, or a big life change — it may be even more stressful than usual. Before you focus on trying to make others happy (or expecting others to magically return the favor) — take some time to figure out what makes YOUR own heart happy!

Which reminded me again of this challenge from Week #14 — just a few weeks after Rob passed (and worth repeating):

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Have a “Happy Heart-mas!”  It will be easy to focus on the things that go wrong this holiday week. Instead, pay attention to what makes your heart happy!  It may be as simple as your silly niece or nephew (or cat or dog), words to an old song that take you back, an irreverent or inappropriate joke you can share only with dear friend, or a quiet star-lit night…or maybe it’s a bigger challenge like limiting your time to only people you enjoy, getting that extra sleep your body is craving, or saying no to something you honestly don’t want to do.  Take note of the moments when you feel your heart lift and your body relax.  Keep a list of what makes you happy…and check it.  Twice! (And then do more of THAT!)

It may be the difference between naughty and nice this holiday week!

Spread Happyness — tell me again, what makes YOUR heart happy?

I wish each and every one of you a “Happy Heart-mas!”

12/20/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #274 – Take a Pass (Say NO to something this week!)

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

I had a new post in mind for this week about reflecting on the year (and decade) past — but a sick pup has had me sidetracked.

And you know what?  It reminded me of a post I wrote last year this time — and the fact that there are a whole lot of you also, one week before Christmas, who couldn’t possibly add one more thing to your list!

And so, I’m repeating that post — and encouraging you to join me in taking a pass!  Cross something off your list — not because it’s done, but because it’s not going to get done. (Or maybe because you didn’t really want to do it anyway.)

This is a big act of rebellion — especially for us “old reliables” who always seem to meet the deadline, show up, or fulfill the obligation even when we don’t want to.

It can be scary — because if we aren’t someone that people can count on, then who are we?

The answer: Big-Hearted, Well-Intended, Happyness Spreaders — who need to take a pass this week!  😉

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: TAKE A PASS!  Consider this permission to say no, play hookie, skip that thing, call and cancel (well ahead of time of course, with regrets).  Bonus points for being okay with someone else who is doing the same!!!  As I heard someone say recently, “disappointment isn’t deadly.” It’s uncomfortable — yes. But so is over-extending ourselves to the point of exhaustion.   

(I’ll be joining you by NOT writing a long post this week!)

Spread Happyness — “Take a Pass” this week!  (And let me know how you do!)

12/13/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #273 – Make it a December to Remember: CELEBRATE!!! (Early…and often!)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy December!!!

It’s no secret that we are in the middle of the shortest possible holiday shopping season (I wrote about this on Week #267) — and I know many of you are feeling it!

And in a few weeks, as the shopping and shipping push comes to an end — you know what’s coming next?

NEW YEAR’S PLANNING!

And this isn’t just any old new year…we’re looking at a whole NEW DECADE ahead!

If it hasn’t started already, soon we’ll be inundated with planners, programs, and systems for making the year ahead more positive, more productive…maybe even more prolific or profitable.

And you know what will be missing in the middle of it all?

Celebration!

That’s right…actually taking time to commemorate and honor where we’re standing right now.

And so…I’m stealing a bit from my year-end post to remind you to celebrate. NOW!

If you’ve kept track of your achievements, high points, and happy moments — now is a great time to REVIEW, SHARE, and CELEBRATE them with the ones you love!

And if you didn’t keep track, don’t worry. Take some time now before this crazy month really takes off to go back through your calendar, your emails, your phone — whatever it takes to come up with enough reminders of all that you accomplished and did right this year!

Because I promise you…you did! And there is probably a lot to CELEBRATE!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: CELEBRATE!!! (Early…and often!) You don’t have to wait until New Year’s Eve! Take time this month to reflect on your journey this past year (or decade). Take stock of your achievements, notice your growth, and make a list of your successes. Then SHARE it with others — and ENCOURAGE others to do the same! There will be plenty of time to look ahead and set new goals, focus on new targets, and dream new dreams for the year (and decade) ahead.

For this weekend — take a look back, and find things to LOVE about 2019!

Spread Happyness — and tell me, what are you celebrating this year?

12/6/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #272 – Keep Counting!  (33 Days of Gratitude Starts Now!)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Holidays!

Thanksgiving may be “over”…but there is no reason to let the gratitude stop!  November is known as “Gratitude Month”…but for the past few years I’ve proposed we keep it going:  

And this year is no different.

Because after our single biggest day of giving thanks — we turn and face the most commercial season of the year.  It’s no secret that retailers thrive on feelings of lack to drive their profits.  And as many of us are trying desperately to simplify the holidays — retailers seem to scream even louder to get our attention.

It turns what many desire to be a season of happiness and contentment into a season of lack and comparison.

And so, I wanted to repeat my challenge once again this year…to continue giving thanks into December and give ourselves the gift of gratitude this holiday season!

(This idea was born out of my own lack of gratitude three years ago.  You can read about it on Week #115.)

So here it is!  A very simple, one-page calendar that you (or your kids) can hang on your wall or refrigerator and fill in each day — and a challenge to Count Your Blessings for 33 days straight!  (Which will take you right up to New Year’s Eve!)

Think you can do it?!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: KEEP COUNTING!  Amid the stress and strife of the season ahead…give YOURSELF the gift of gratitude!  Download the 33 Days of Gratitude PDF and start counting your blessings today!  Or check out Week #270 for ten fun “Gratitude Game” ideas for how to keep track. However you do it, come New Year’s Eve — you’ll have 33 reminders to celebrate all that is going right and well in your life!  (And I will too!)

Spread Happyness — Share Freely!  And start counting your blessings today!

11/29/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #271 – Thanksgiving Week: Make your moments matter!

As we head into Thanksgiving Week, I’m reminded of a post from two years ago about a woman named JoCheryl Holcombe who lost EIGHT family members (TEN if you include an unborn child and a close family friend) in the Sutherland Springs, Texas shooting on November 5, 2017.

At that time, an acquaintance of mine (who is friends with Cheryl) shared JoCheryl’s Facebook post from the day her town gathered together to celebrate the lives of the Holcombe and Hill families that were killed en masse just ten days before.

You can still see JoCheryl’s public message on FB here.

I couldn’t possibly add anything to that — except to agree and share it with you again.  As you gather together with family this week — if you get along or you don’t get along — remember, it may feel like you have forever.

You don’t.  

(But then again, you do!)

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead is this quote from JoCheryl Holcombe:
“So, when you think of those you love and it feels like you have forever, just remember you don’t, but then again, YOU DO! make this life matter, our soul is the only thing we take with us when we are done…it’s worth tending, it’s worth making meaningful deep connections and living each moment in the fullest most meaningful way. BECAUSE everything can change in a holy instant “
(JoCheryl Holcombe via Facebook — 11/15/17)

Spread Happyness — make your moments matter!  

Have a Happy Thanksgiving Week!

11/22/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com