“What’s on your menu?” (Grace Church)

Week #190 – Mother’s Day is May 13th! (Here’s a dozen ideas that DON’T involve reservations!)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy May!

I wanted to take a moment to repeat my little public service announcement from Week #85 — and remind those of you who are celebrating Mother’s Day this year:

PLAN AHEAD!

But before you pick up the phone to make a reservation, take a moment to think about what the ladies in your life REALLY want.

And I’m not talking about jewelry or clothes, purses or perfume.

I polled over 50 ladies in the week prior to my original post, and asked them:

What do you REALLY want but are afraid to ask for?

The answers may or may not have be surprising — but one thing is for sure: very few of them can be purchased at the mall or served in a restaurant.

Mother’s Day is one of the most stressful days of the year in restaurants.  It is NOT a good day to make last minute plans or take your party of nine to try a new place.  If the lady in your life LOVES to dine out, and everyone is up for behaving, being on time, and figuring out the bill without her help — then by all means make your reservations now!

(But if that’s the case, you’ve probably already done that!)

If not, take heart — and listen to what REAL MOMS told me they REALLY want on Mother’s Day:

For Starters
– Extra Sleep: this may mean sleeping in, a nap during the day, or an undisputed and early lights-out.  Most of all — moms want sleep!
– Time Alone: moms have a difficult time asking for this because they love their families — but next to extra sleep, all moms expressed some desire for time alone to read, watch TV, swing in a hammock, putter in the garden, work on a project, or just finish their morning cup of coffee.  From just a few extra minutes of solitude to 48 hours away from home — moms want a little time that’s all their own!
– Peace & Quiet: over and over again, moms longed for a day of no fighting, fussing, stress, or strife.  This is a good day for kids to practice their best behavior (dads too!).

The Main Course
– Spa Service/Pampering: Meals are big part of any occasion — but most moms I polled want some sort of pampering.  A massage, manicure, pedicure, facial, or full service — ladies love to be pampered.  (Just be sure to find out her favorite places — or get a recommendation from a friend!)
– Special Dinner at Home: While some do want to go out, most moms said they’d prefer to eat a meal at home — they just don’t want to be responsible for planning, preparing, and cleaning up after it!  If you decide to treat mom to a home-cooked feast — just be sure you are prepared to take care of everything (or maybe just order out)!  Cleaning up someone else’s mess is not a gift!  😉
– Time with Family: I know, I know — moms said they wanted time alone, right?  Well, they also want time with their families.  Just gathering everyone under one roof, for one day, could make your mom’s year!  (Oh — and maybe ONE good picture of everyone!)
– Gardening & Yard Supplies/Help: Several moms mentioned gardening and yard supplies, and a little help getting things done!  One of the most entertaining accounts was of a family that gathered to weed and plant while the mom sat in a chair and gave instructions!
– Stuff: A hammock, flowers, something pretty, something tasty, a movie night, or a scuba diving excursion — there is still a desire for presents, but not always the ones you’d expect!  (Don’t be afraid to ask!)

SWEET STUFF
– Handmade Cards/Projects from Kids: Above all, moms cherish those little creations made by tiny hands!  Engage the kids in a project for mom (preferably while they are out of the house so mom can read, sleep, pamper, putter, or binge watch her favorite show!)
– Loving Note from Husband/Significant Other: Several moms mentioned that they love to hear from their husbands/partners on Mother’s Day.  Just a few words of acknowledgment and appreciation go a long way (but not always all the way…so no strings attached guys, okay?).
– A Simple Thank You: Two words that mean more than anything money can buy!

EXTRAS:  It’s hard to make a list of things NOT to do — but over and over again, moms expressed the desire for a day that included:
– No Chores (ideally done for her, not left for Monday morning!)
– No Decisions (mom might like someone else to take the reigns today)
– No Requests (a day without question marks would be delightful)
– No Fighting (for one day, please!  You can do this!)

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Mother’s Day is May 13th!  Do you know what the mom in your life REALLY wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Present her with a home-made menu of options and have her circle her favorites.  You might even be able to multi-task to make sure she gets a little of everything she wants throughout the day.  The most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Whatever she wants — don’t leave it to the last minute.  You have a week!!!

And if it is reservations — please make them now (and be sure to take care of your servers… chances are it’s their Mother’s Day too.)

Above all: Remember that Mother’s Day is available every day — not just once a year!

[A big THANK YOU once again to all the Dreamers & Builders who took the time to respond to my poll — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share your Mother’s Day ideas in the comments!

PS: I realize that for some, Mother’s Day is not always the happiest of holidays.  Death, disagreements, disconnection, or decline can bring about mixed emotions.  If this is you, you are not alone.  Many women reported similar feelings.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself!

[This post originally appeared on Week #85.]

5/4/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“Thinking of you…” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #189 – Repost: “Heavy on my mind…” (Who are you thinking of?)

As I mentioned last week, I’m working on some new things…and on deadline for some others.  So here’s a flash back to Week #33 because he’s heavy on my mind again this week.  

Just about four years ago now…everything was about to change.

While there’s always a lot of talk about the big anniversaries and holidays, the last days of April bring up a different kind of anniversary…the first x-rays, the first admittance to Sloan, the first mention of the “C” word.

As we stood in Rob’s hospital room four years ago, we were in shock.  “This is crazy…” he said more than once in disbelief.  “How can this be?”  Who knew what the next few months would bring…where it would take us…how it would bring us together…and ultimately take him away.

One thing’s for sure…he was on my mind every single day.  And I made sure I took the time to let him know it.

There’s a lot of criticism over our dependence on digital communication these days…but I’ve seen ways that it can help people who otherwise couldn’t possibly stay connected under intense pressure or circumstances.  A quick little text, a Facebook post, a short email, or even just a voicemail that doesn’t require a call back…these are all ways to let someone know you are thinking of them.  Just thinking of them…period.  Not expecting anything in return.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Who’s heavy on your mind?  Take time…right now…to send them these three little words: “Thinking of you.”

That’s it.

Just three little words.

Spread Happyness — and see where this takes you!  Share your thoughts in the comments!

(And PS: I’m thinking of YOU!)

4/27/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #188 – Are you an outlet — or a plug?

I’m working on some new stories — so this week I’m going way, way back to Week #6!

In the weeks immediately following Rob’s death I heard story after story about how he influenced, affected, touched, or otherwise blessed one person after another. When you hear all these stories at once, you wonder how one individual could spend that much time with other people — in addition to a full time job, various personal interests, and logging 50,000 miles on his car in a year!

But Rob was full of energy — pure energy. As a result, he was an outlet to most people who crossed his path — they could come to him, plug in, and get happiness. Was it a gift — or a choice? Certainly Rob was blessed with an outgoing personality.  But he also did things in his life that assured he’d have plenty of time and energy to fill himself up and fuel his own interests. He chose to eat well, exercise, sleep, drink water, say no to things he didn’t want to do, step away from unnecessary drama and distractions, and make room only for the things that lit him up. I believe that because he tended to himself FIRST — he had plenty of time/attention/love/encouragement/and insane goofiness to share with everyone he met. (Dogs, cats, parrots, snakes, butterflies and armadillos included!)

How are you doing?  Are you an outlet of “pure energy” that others can plug into — or do you find yourself looking to others to fill you up?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Are you an outlet — or a plug?  Do others look to you for energy — or do you find yourself looking to others to plug in?  Brainstorm a quick list of things you can do to fill yourself up FIRST — then pick ONE and follow through for yourself TODAY.  Remember to charge yourself up first — then get out there and let your PURE ENERGY light someone else’s day!

SPREAD HAPPYNESS — and share the things that fill you up!!!

4/20/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

(Used with permission.)

Week #187 – Repost: Happyness in Action (Take the Giving Challenge — with Stephanie L. Jones)

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

It was such a thrill to meet Stephanie Jones in person on Monday — I just had to repost her story of Happyness in Action with you again this week!

Stephanie L. Jones is known on the web as “The Giving Gal.”  What started in 2011 as a month-long challenge to give one gift every day for a month — turned into a 522-day journey into the art of giving and ultimately grew into a book launch, speaking, and consulting gig.  Stephanie’s book, The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life launched in January of 2017 — and her weekly “Giving Challenges” have Spread Happyness to countless recipients, making her a great nomination for Happyness in Action!

And it all started on New Year’s Day!

Stephanie shared her story with me: “In December 2010 I read the book 29 Gifts and on January 1, 2011, I started on my giving journey.  I intended to give a gift every day for a month. That turned into a year, and 522 days later I was still giving.”  (You can view a list of her 500+ days of giving on her website!)

“I blogged a little during my giving journey and people kept saying, “You should write a book.”  I thought they were crazy.  I wasn’t good at writing; I hate grammar and had no idea how to write a book.”

But that didn’t stop her!  

Stephanie started researching how to write a book — and reaching out to people she knew who could give her advice.  “I knew nothing about writing and publishing a book and I didn’t know anyone who had written a book.  I was flying blind and making a lot of mistakes.”

The book was originally going to be titled “365 Days, My Year of Giving.”  Stephanie’s plan was to go back through her blog and figure out what stories to work on.  “The biggest challenge was not knowing what I didn’t know.  Spending money that I didn’t need to spend.  Lots of lessons learned.”  But Stephanie kept writing.

And she continued to give!

“In Spring 2015 I found my first editor and she was the one that suggested 40 stories and came  up with The Giving Challenge name.  But even after working with her, trying to cut stories took time.  I continued to give gifts so something fun would happen and I’d swap out an old story for a new one.”

Stephanie started to connect and get involved in various groups on Facebook…and started to meet people who could help, and they did!

“The book took me four years to publish.  Honestly the pressure I felt to get it done and out there is what kept me going.  Every time I’d quit, and that was like 100 times, someone would give me encouragement, say the right thing, and I’d get up and start again.  It was really obedience to God continuing to whisper in my ear to get the book done.  He laid this on my heart and kept showing up and put people in front of me that could help me.”

What kept her going?

“I struggled with it (the book) up until December 15, 2016 when I was sending final edits to the publisher.  I would take one step forward and then another hurdle would pop up.  At every hurdle, even though I was so close, I wanted to throw my hands in the air and quit.  I saw people around me putting out books quickly and I wondered why I was having so many challenges.  But now I have a great story because every setback improved the book.”

I asked her about that linchpin moment when she realized the book was really going to happen.  That moment where the struggle gave way to the finish line.

“When the book arrived in the mail, that is when I knew I’d crossed the finish line.  It was an overwhelming moment.  I have it on video and I’m a hot mess!”

What’s next?

“Now there are 1000 more finish lines.  Just because the book is out doesn’t mean the journey has ended, nor have the struggles.”  Stephanie’s focus turned to promoting the book, lining up speaking engagements, and beginning the next project — all while working her full time job!

“Time is the hardest.  I work full time for a Fortune 100 company and have a very demanding job.  But following my passion made me do my full-time job better.  I’m happier.  I’ve found even though I don’t work the crazy hours for the company that I used to because I thought hours equalled success…I’m getting more done in less time and I’m more productive.”

Oh…and more giving!

“The easiest part is I don’t mind the work I have to put into all the follow-up I’ve had after the book.  I work a lot of early mornings, late evenings, and weekends.  I love it!  I love connecting with new people.  I love the opportunities that are becoming available now that I’m on the right path.”

Which is how I met Stephanie!

As many of you know, in March of 2016 I picked up and moved my entire life across country in about sixteen days.  By June, I was still disorganized and floundering — and desperate to get my bearings.  I posted in a group looking for ideas to re-focus and re-set my goals for the second half of the year.  Stephanie was the only person to respond — and then she took a step further and reached out to me personally via direct message.  She introduced herself — and offered an hour of her coaching time.  My world hasn’t been the same since!

“Giving is a part of my life and I continue to give daily.  It’s a habit that I don’t think about, it’s who I am: The Giving Gal!  I give and expect nothing in return, but giving changed my life, and the more I give, the more incredible things happen in my life.”

What about you, Happyness Tribe?  Are ready to take The Giving Challenge?!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: TAKE THE GIVING CHALLENGE!  Join Stephanie’s Facebook Group (facebook.com/GivingGal) and take the weekly challenges she posts!  You can follow her on social media, sign up for email updates at her website (GivingGal.com), or read the book and take The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life on your own or with a group!  Whatever you do, be sure to connect with Stephanie.  “I always love to connect and learn about people’s dreams and how I can help.”

“Giving and serving others is Happyness.” (Stephanie L. Jones)

Spread Happyness — take The Giving Challenge and discover your own source of Happyness!

4/13/17 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

(Thanks to Stephanie L. Jones for taking time out of her busy schedule to share her story with me last year — and to meet me in person this week!  To learn more about Stephanie, sign up for her emails, or purchase The Giving Challenge: 40 Days to a More Generous Life, check out her website at www.GivingGal.com — and follow Stephanie on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest!)

Week #186 – Notice the color of someone’s eyes!

I heard a great tip this week and I wanted to pass it on…because it seems to have made my interactions with people a little happier!

The tip was to notice the color of someone’s eyes when you’re talking to them.

Now…notice that I used the word “notice.”  Not gaze, or stare, scrutinize, or even comment…because that would be creepy (especially if it’s a stranger)!

Just notice.

There is tons of research on body language and its overwhelming importance in overall communication…and eye contact is no small part of that.  It can signal our level of interest and intention, anger or compassion, confidence or doubt.

(And yes, I’m aware of cultural differences that might make eye contact inappropriate or unintentionally aggressive.  Use good judgment!)

But mainly, when you look someone in the eye, you affirm their existence.  You let them know you see them…and as the saying goes, it’s good to be seen!

And one way to do that is to simply take note of their eye color.

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Notice the color of someone’s eyes!  As you go through your week, make a point of noticing (again, I repeat, no-tic-ing) the color of someone’s eyes.  Start with your own family…the ones you are most intimate with.  Can you describe from memory all the flecks and splashes you see on a daily basis?  If not, you might be missing something.  Revel in those glimmers and gleams…and let people know you see them!

“The eyes are a mirror to the soul…”

Spread Happyness — and share your thoughts in the comments!

4/6/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #185 – “Take the long way home!”

As we head into the last weekend in March…the sun is getting stronger, staying longer, and ever so slowly warming things up!  No matter how much snow you may still have on the ground…the earth knows that it’s time to blossom!

It’s a GREAT time to stretch your legs and get out for a long walk or drive!

This is the time of year that people start coming out of hibernation.  Your neighborhood may seem more active, your nearby park or rec center more crowded, even the beach may have a few more footprints than normal as we humans naturally head out into the sun to stretch out and dethaw!

Plus, with a little extra sunlight at the end of the day…it gives us that much more time for road-tripping!

With Passover and Easter and Spring Break colliding this week…stretch your legs and “take the long way home!”

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Take the long way home!  Whether you take a walk around the ‘hood, down the block, or hop in the car for a drive out of town…take advantage of the longer days, and hopefully some extra visiting hours this holiday weekend, and stretch your legs this week!

Spread Happyness — and share your thoughts in the comments!

3/30/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Halloween 2008 (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #184 – “We are all on our own stage, and it’s up to us how to act!” (In memory of Cindy Tedesco)

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

This week is a re-post of Week #132 — in remembrance of Cindy Tedesco, a family friend and friend to SO MANY others, who passed away last year on March 23rd after a nearly 5-year battle with Ovarian Cancer.

She was young.  Too young.

As word of Cindy’s passing spread, and her Facebook page filled with condolences, I was reminded of a blog post she wrote in March of 2015 that was published on the ihadcancer.com website.  (You can read Cindy’s post in its entirety here.)

Cindy was so proud to write and share her story — and I was so happy for her when it was chosen.  When I shared her post on Facebook the day it published — I wrote that Cindy was a true warrior.  Not simply because she survived — but that she chose to THRIVE.

One of the things I most appreciated about Cindy was her honesty about her battle.  She shared openly about the highs, the lows, the anxiety, the grief.  But she also shared her joy and exuberance for life.  The day-to-day moments that made her life precious: meals with her husband, time with her cat, days at the beach, new haircuts and shoes, painted nails and toes, afternoons at her pool, and emojis!  Oh…the emojis!  Cindy left no stone unturned.

Perhaps because she knew there was no time.

Cindy‘s last line in her post sums it up perfectly:
“We are all on our own stage, and it’s up to us how to act!”

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Chose to THRIVE!  This is trite — but life is not a dress rehearsal.  You are on a stage all your own.  Step out.  Share honestly.  Spend time doing the things you love, the things that make you laugh, the things you want to be remembered for.  Our time is short…sometimes shorter than we imagine it will be.  Chose to THRIVE!

Thank you once again, Cindy, for sharing your life openly and honestly with all who were lucky to know you.  And to Cindy’s family, friends, loved ones, coworkers, and Teal Sisters — my continued condolences to you all.  There are some losses we never get over…we just have to go on, broken-hearted as we are, and live as they would want us to — fully.

Spread Happyness — remember Cindy, tell YOUR story, and chose to THRIVE!

3/23/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

(Cindy’s post is referenced with permission — and originally appeared on IHadCancer.com.)

“I believe in you!” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #183 – “I believe in you!” (Encourage someone today!)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

Two years ago today…I packed up everything I owned, and pulled away from everything I knew and loved, to hit the road and start a new adventure roughly 3,000 miles away in Southern California.

It seems like some kind of romantic American dream, right?

Except when you’re in it — it can feel like a bit of a nightmare.  It’s scary, and lonely, and you wonder every mile if you’re doing the right thing.

(Unless you’re Jim…then you don’t doubt it at all!)  🙂

I’ve had two friends make similar moves this month…and watching their journeys and following them online brought back so many feelings.  The good…the bad…the really ugly crying!  (I’m not gifted that way.)

But mostly…I felt immense gratitude for the encouragers!

The ones who said:
– “Just try it.”
– “You’ll figure it out.”
– “I believe in you.”

These weren’t people blowing sunshine up my you-know-what…just telling me what I wanted to hear (because what I really wanted to hear was something else).  These were people who knew me…and were encouraging me to live MY life, to find MY way, to figure ME out.

And I’m grateful for them every single day…not because I figured it all out (because believe me, there is still plenty to figure out!).  But because by trying it at all…I believe in myself just a little bit more.

Which means I can REALLY encourage others to believe in themselves…just a little bit more!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: BELIEVE IN SOMEONE!!!  Even if you aren’t feeling all that great yourself this week (and maybe especially if you aren’t!) — if you know someone who’s facing a difficulty or change, taking a risk, or trying something new, take time to say “I believe in you!”  Send them a note, post on their wall, share this page, or just cheer them along!

And if it’s you that’s feeling discouraged this week…then this post is for you!  “I believe in you!”

I really do!

Spread Happyness…Encourage someone today!

3/16/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #182 – Share good news!

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

I’ve been reminded recently of the power of good news.  On several occasions in the last month, I received updates from friends across the country…just touching base to share good news about:

• A long awaited move
• An upcoming trip
• Some new ink
• The appearance of the first crocuses busting through the mulch!
• That the power is back on…(then off)…then on again!!!  YAY!!!

They weren’t asking for anything…just sharing their news/success/excitement with me.  How sweet is that?!

We all know the saying, “bad news travels fast.”  It’s our natural human tendency to reach out in community when something is wrong.  Don’t forget to celebrate and share successes with others, as well.  Because everyone enjoys a good news story.

And nobody goes it alone.  Nobody.

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Share good news!  If you’ve got good friends who answer the call/carry your burdens when you’re down…be sure to share good news with them when you’re up!  You’re just one text, call, email, or post away from sharing a smile, a laugh, a happy story, an uplifting moment, a heartfelt thank you, or some much needed good news to brighten someone else’s day.

Make the choice to spread light, spread love, and Spread Happyness this week!

Spread Happyness — and share good news!

3/9/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com