Week #200 – Summer Fun List: Sit a spell!

Greetings Happyness Tribe — and Happy Friday!

I just returned to Los Angeles from a whirlwind weekend at the Jersey Shore!  It was another fast and busy trip centered around a yearly concert in Ocean Grove’s Great Auditorium — which happened to fall on one of the single busiest weeks of the summer.  

Between singing in the concert and visiting with family — there wasn’t much time to schedule other activities, visits, or downtime.

Which made porch-hopping so precious!!!

Porch-hopping is a special kind of visiting…no planning, no deadlines, no expectations.  You simply make yourself available and see who passes by!  It’s not a date for an entire day or evening…it’s grab-and-go.  Take what you can.  Just a few precious moments of eternal NOW.

And you learn to make it count!

For “the town where time stands still” — summers move pretty fast in Ocean Grove!  After two years in Southern California, where there’s always another beautiful day, I could feel the frenzy.  Running here, running there, trying to “get it all in.”

The only way to still time, it seemed…was to be still myself.

If you feel like your summer is flying by, going too fast, or slipping through your fingers…don’t panic.  Power down!  Make yourself available.  Sit down…and rock a while!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Sit a spell!  Whether you have a porch, deck, patio, balcony, or tailgate — pull up a chair, take a load off, sit a spell, have a chat, visit a bit, or rock a while!  Watch the traffic pass, cars park, people walk by, critters hard at work, nature doing her thing, or just observe the world moving about while you sit still.  Invite someone to join you.  Share a glass of something cold, have a conversation, meet a neighbor, visit with friends, or get to know just a little bit more about your very own family.

The world is moving fast…make porch time a priority this week!

Spread Happyness — tell me, what’s your favorite place for a nice long sit?

7/13/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“Walked these boards and rode the waves.”  (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #199 – Summer Fun List: “Walk the Boards and Ride the Waves!!!”

Greetings Happyness Tribe!!!

I’m headed back to Ocean Grove this week!  Holy Ground, God’s Square Mile, and Heaven on Earth!!!

And all I can think about is this…from Week #43.  So forgive the (modified) repost this week…I am busy “walking the boards and riding the waves!”  (I know you understand!)

Just three short years ago now…a new memorial planter quietly appeared on the boardwalk in Ocean Grove.  The planter’s inscription reads:

Robert Church, Jr.  1974-2014
Walked these boards and rode the waves.
Loved and Remembered Always

Since Rob disappeared from our boardwalk in 2014 — I still, even today, look to see his 6-foot-something frame, his big wave, and his confident stride.  And with every turn onto Ocean Ave. — I am reminded, once again, of his absence in this beautiful place.  A place we shared as a family since childhood — and continued to share into our adulthood.

A place we somehow, even now, continue to share today.  ♥

Through all the years we visited Ocean Grove — as children, teens, adults, and friends — we never dreamed it would come to this.  Benches and planters were for old people, maybe even pets, but not for us.  We were young, vital, alive.

And THAT is the point of the plaques on those benches and planters.  Life is about what you do, where you do it, and who you do it with.  The planters and benches along the boardwalk are filled with legacies: “…who loved Ocean Grove…”, “…who helped us all to grow…”, “whose happiness was a day at the beach…”

What would yours say?

This week’s assignment: “WALK THE BOARDS!  RIDE THE WAVES!”  Spend time doing YOUR favorite activity!  If someone were to write a memorial plaque about you…what would it say?  Where would they put it?  Spend time there doing that thing as if it was your last.  Imagine how you might want to be remembered…then make it a point to LIVE IT!  Do it with love…do it with laughter…and above all: do it with Happyness!

Don’t wait!  Live your legacy today!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!

7/6/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Beach Fireworks (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #198 – Summer Fun List: It’s the Fourth of July!!! (Do you know where your fireworks are?)

Greetings, Tribe — and Happy Fourth of July Week!

We are counting down the Fridays between now and Labor Day Weekend with some short “Summer Fun” suggestions because — I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again — while many adults are busy planning their kids’ summer fun, they often overlook their own!

But this week, I bet you know right where you are going to be this week/weekend — because nothings says sum-sum-summertime like a good fireworks show!

So instead of planning…I want you simply to share!

Holidays are one of the loneliest times for someone who is away from home, new to town, or suddenly out on their own.  And at the height of the summer, when everyone else seems to be having the greatest time ever, it can feel like you’re not included or somehow missed the boat.

Fireworks are one of those elusive festivities.  Google all you want…finding out the “right” place to be, at the right time, on the right day can feel desperate and maddening.

So help a neighbor out, will you?!  If you’re in the know about where/when the best shows in your area are…don’t keep it to yourself!  Spread the info — and share what you know!

(Better yet, invite someone to watch them with you!)

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Do you know where the fireworks are?  If so, don’t keep all the fun to yourself!  Social media makes it easier than ever to get the word out.  Share the info with your neighbors, friends, and on your networks.  Better yet, invite someone to watch them with you.  There is enough division going on right now in our beautiful country…reach across the yard, the street, the hallway at school, or the corridor at work…and share what you know!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!!!

6/29/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“Sand Art – Santa Barbara” (photo credit: Grace Church)

Week #197 – Summer Fun Lists! (What’s in YOUR top ten?)

It’s that time of year again!

The Summer Solstice occurred early Thursday morning (12:07am ET).  Proms and graduations are over.  And the last few days of school are taking place.

Summer 2018 has officially arrived!

And I’m going to ask you again — are you PLANNING to have fun this summer?

There are exactly ten Fridays between now and Labor Day Weekend.  And while adults are usually busy planning their kids’ summer fun — I’ve said it before: they often overlook their own!

And I want to make sure YOU have fun this summer!

So, repeat after me:

Don’t let the kids have all the fun!

The best way to teach others to have fun — is to have fun yourself!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Make your Summer Fun Lists!  What are the top ten ways you are planning to have fun this summer?  Brainstorm by yourself, with your family, or with your friends.  Then get planning!  There are exactly ten Fridays between now and Labor Day weekend.  Don’t let it pass you by!  Make this the summer you take that trip, cross off that bucket list item, make that leap, try that thing, get serious about that project, or just get plain silly!  Share your plans and report back — because it’s no fun to keep all the fun to yourself!  😉

(Here are 37 random ideas to get you started.)

How do you plan to have FUN this summer?!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts or ideas in the comments (or by email) and keep the list growing!

6/22/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“Teammates” (photo credit: Grace Church)

[Editor’s note: this post has been updated to include a link to Sean’s Memorial Service, which will be held Friday, June 22nd.  Details can be found here: https://leberlakeside.com]

Week #196 – Make a Lane! (Dedicated to Sean Young, HHS Class of 1992)

This week’s post comes on the heels of losing one of Rob’s classmates/teammates from back home.

To the family and friends of Sean Young (Hopatcong High School Class of 1992) — my heart is with you. There are no words that can make sense of nor satisfy the emptiness of the grief you are facing today…or in the days, weeks, or years ahead.  It is a permanent, deep, and lonely place.  It is forever…and it is heart breaking.  I am so sorry.

To everyone else, I’m reminded of a football term.  One of Sean’s teammates immediately remembered Sean’s ability to “make a lane” for him to run the ball.  Sure, it’s the ball-carrier who often gets all the glory…but any good running back knows it’s his offensive line that makes the real magic happen:

Wall-to-wall bodies…and then suddenly, an opening!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Make a lane!  Do you know someone who is facing a wall of opposition?  Big, massive, seemingly immovable obstacles that are preventing him or her from moving forward?  Maybe even actively working against them?

Make a lane.  Connect, support, encourage, move mountains if you can.

And above all…love on one another!

Spread Happyness — Make a Lane!  And share your thoughts in the comments.

6/15/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Father’s Day To-Do List (by Grace Church)

Week #195 – Father’s Day is June 17th!  (Remember: the best gifts start with an “F!”)

In early May, I like to give you a heads-up that Mother’s Day is just around the corner.  Well — June is underway, and I wanted to take another moment this year to repeat my little public service announcement to those of you who are celebrating Father’s Day this year:

PLAN AHEAD!

But before you go out and buy another necktie or coffee mug or singing fish, take a moment to stop and think about what the man in your life really wants.

(No…not that!)

The other things!

Just like the moms I polled for Mother’s Day, I asked the guys:
What is it that you REALLY want/wish for on Father’s Day?

I have to be honest, getting answers was like pulling teeth.  While over 50 ladies responded within hours of my Mother’s Day question, I had to ask the guys three separate times — and then only received answers when another guy intervened on my behalf.  (Why is that, guys?!)

Like the ladies, most guys don’t want something that can be bought in a store.  Hell, most of them don’t even want to leave the house!  A few brave ones even told me: “Nothing.  To do nothing.”  That doesn’t make for a sexy wish-list!

It took some arm-twisting — but a brave group of guys took me up on the question and told me what they REALLY wanted on Father’s Day.  And it can be summed up in four words:

FOOD, FUN, FAMILY, and a FRIGGIN’ NAP!

FOOD: From morning until night — most dads responded with some sort of food request: breakfast on the deck, donuts, waffles, burgers on the grill, ice cream in the fridge, and beer in the cooler.  Rather than buy your dad something at the mall, head to the local grocery store instead and pick him up the makings of a king-sized breakfast (eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, waffles, OJ, and coffee), a deli lunch (fresh bread, sandwich fixings, side salads, chips, cookies, and deli pickles), or a Grill-fest dinner (burgers and dogs, ribs and chicken, or steaks and potatoes).  Make sure you back it up with his favorite dessert — you know, the one just for him (even if the kids don’t like it!).

FUN: Whether it’s a day at the park, a trip to the ballgame, an outing on the golf course, an inside day at the science museum, or the latest action movie — dads do want to have fun!  (As long as they’re with the ones they love!)

FAMILY: In almost every category (except one, see below) — the dads I heard from all wanted to spend time with their families!  Laugher, cuddles, and a few “I love you, dads” don’t hurt either!

THE NAP: Moms aren’t alone in their request for a little extra sleep!  Napping was the number one response I received from dads, too!  Extra sleep goes a LONG way!  Make sure you get some on Father’s Day!  😉

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Father’s Day is June 17th!  Do you know what the man in your life really wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Let HIM create the honey-do list for the day!  Work out a list that includes things each member of the family can check off: food, family, fun, and that all important NAP!  Just like Mother’s Day, the most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Don’t leave things to the last minute.  And if it is a necktie or another coffee mug — wear it or drink from it in good health!

[A big THANK YOU to all the Dreamers & Builders who took the time to respond to my poll — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share YOUR Father’s Day ideas in the comments!

[This post originally appeared on Week #91.]

6/8/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Social media has made it easier than ever to complain about bad service or call out individuals/companies that let us down.

The things is…it’s just as easy nowadays to say something positive!  🙂

“Remember” (photo: Grace Church)

Week #193 – REMINDER: Keep the “Memorial” in Memorial Day!

This post has been an annual repeat — because it’s always a good reminder to keep the “Memorial” in Memorial Day!

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.”  (attributed to Plato — and George Santayana)

We are coming up on another Memorial Day Weekend — and there is no doubt that you’ll see a lot of commentaries about Memorial Day this weekend.  Here is one more — but it may not be what you think!

Memorial Day, for certain, is a day set aside to remember those who died serving our country.  But before it was called “Memorial Day” — it was called “Decoration Day” because it was a day when families reunited at burial locations to “decorate” the graves of their fallen.  And because many people traveled very far to get there — they would relish the opportunity to visit and reconnect with relatives, usually accompanied by a pot-luck or picnic supper nearby.

So, it seems our modern traditions of family reunions and bar-b-queing are not really that far off.

It’s the REMEMBERING (and DECORATING) that we sometimes miss!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: Put the MEMORIAL back in Memorial Day!  Enjoy your family, the nice weather, and the freedom we have — just remember to REMEMBER!  This may mean simply raising a flag, bringing a note or flowers to a grave of one who lost his/her life in service, or writing a name in the sand for all to see.  You could make a donation, plant a tree, or lay a wreath at the base of a statue.  Even after the day is past, the flowers fade, or the ocean wipes the shore clean — you never know how long your tribute will stick to the walls of someone else’s memory!

How do you keep the MEMORIAL in Memorial Day?!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts or ideas in the comments!

5/25/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Acoustic untouched. (Photo by Grace Church)

Week #192 – Don’t let your dreams gather dust!

It’s May…and my social media newsfeed is buzzing once again with prom pictures, college acceptance announcements, graduations, post-grad certifications, and new job transitions!

Dreams of all shapes and sizes are coming true…every day.

(Which means it’s time to revisit an oldie but a goodie from graduation seasons past!)

It’s Graduation Season

Soon, high schoolers and college students everywhere will be leaving the safety of their nests and setting out on lives of their own making.  Graduation cards will be filled with the phrase “follow your dreams!”  But do we really mean that?  (I mean, we must…because no graduation card ever wishes the recipient a life of quiet desperation, right?)

What’s your dream?

Are you chasing your dreams?  Or are they gathering dust?  Do you even remember what they were?  Or when you may have set them aside?

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Don’t let your dreams gather dust!  As we celebrate the graduations and bright futures of high schoolers and college students everywhere — take a moment to remember where you were headed and who you thought you were going to be.  Are you you still on the right track?  Have you followed your dreams?  Or maybe your old dreams lead you to new dreams?  Or did life or circumstances derail you?  Don’t despair…you’ve graduated life with honors!  Put on a cap and gown, play Pomp & Circumstance, and celebrate who you are today and all that you’ve accomplished.  Then dust off those dreams…and set your sails for a new horizon!  Because it’s never to late and you’re never too old.  The best day to get started on your dreams is TODAY! 

To misquote Henry David Thoreau: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams!  Live the life you imagined!”

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts (and dreams) in the comments!

5/18/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

“Take care of yourself!” (by Grace Church)

Week #191 – “Take care of yourself!” (Especially on Mother’s Day)

Mother’s Day is this Sunday, May 13th!  If you haven’t made plans yet, don’t panic.  Last week, I posted a dozen ideas (that didn’t include reservations) from a survey of what over 50 REAL MOMS told me they REALLY wanted on Mother’s Day.

And if you are one of the ones NOT looking forward to Mother’s Day…I promised this week would be for you!

So I’m re-posting again — because for many women, Mother’s Day is not a happy day.  For some women…it is a day of mixed emotions.  And if this is you…please read on, and know you are not alone!

Mother’s Day and Mixed Emotions

Many of the women I exchanged ideas with reported feeling mixed emotions on Mother’s Day.  Issues of infertility or infant death, the loss of parents or children at any age, disconnection from living parents or children, disagreements among family members, decline of elderly parents, or disappointments in childhood or childrearing — they all come front and center on a day when it seems like “everyone” else is out celebrating with their perfect and loving families.

If you feel this way, please know you are not alone.

There are many articles circulating about what to do when you can’t, won’t, or don’t want to celebrate Mother’s Day.  The bottom line is this…and it’s in my own mother’s words:

“Take care of yourself.”

These are tough words to hear when you feel victimized, bitter, or powerless.  They’re more like a bed of nails than a soft place to fall — trust me, I know.  But they are true.

Because if you won’t take care of you…then who else will?

In my original survey, many women reported mixed feelings on Mother’s Day.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself and your future!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: “Take care of yourself!”  Mother’s Day is a great day to remind each of us that “mothering” is an age-old practice.  And while one woman may be have brought you into this world (and maybe even another brought you up)…all that she taught you, good and bad, instructs how you carry and deliver yourself your entire life!  If Mother’s Day is a struggle for you — do what you need to do to take care of yourself this year!  

And take care of others, too — because everyone needs a mom sometime!

Spread Happyness — share your thoughts in the comments!

[This post originally appeared on Week #86.]

5/11/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com