Week #230 – Valentine’s Day is February 14th!  (Read this before buying that expensive gift!)

Valentine’s Day is next week — and I wanted to take a moment to repeat my little public service announcement to remind those of you who will celebrate this year:

PLAN AHEAD!

(And for those of you who aren’t planning to celebrate…check out the PS: below just for you!)

You’ve got a good seven days…but before you pull out the credit card to buy that expensive gift — or pick up the phone to make a last minute dinner reservation for 7:30p (and yes, at this point, it’s last minute) — take a moment to think about what the Valentine in your life REALLY wants.

Back at Week #125, I took an informal poll back at — and asked people:
“What is it that you REALLY want for Valentine’s Day — but are afraid to ask for?”

Here, once again, are the answers!  (And one thing is for sure: most of them are not purchased at a mall or served in an overbooked restaurant.)

Take heart — and listen to what REAL PEOPLE told me they REALLY wanted for Valentine’s Day:

For Starters
– Words of Affirmation: the reality is, most people I asked did NOT respond with a request for a gift or money spent.  They wanted to hear good words from their partners.  You can start the day with a note, a card, or even a text (but PLEASE…don’t follow it up with a request!).
– Affection: from young to old, many people (women particularly), want some physical reassurance that you are their one-and-only.  Hold a hand, give a hug, plant a kiss (but again, don’t follow it up with a request or expectation for more!).
– Surprise at Work: one woman I spoke with initially told me she wanted dinner and dancing — but then confided that she and her husband always do that.  What she really wanted was for him to send flowers to her workplace.  In her words, “we know we exist when someone else thinks of us.” This could take the form of candy, flowers, fruit, or even donut bouquets! (Bonus points for sending them on Monday so he/she can have them all week!)

The Main Course
– Dinner/Movie: Dinner is a go-to part of Valentine’s Day — but most everyone I talked to didn’t want the hassle of going out.  Much of this depends on where you are in your relationship — but preparing a special meal at home (one young millennial mentioned grilling steaks for his girl) and settling on the couch to watch a movie (he lets her pick) was his plan for February 14th.
– Dinner/Dancing: Still, there are those who look forward to getting gussied up and going out on the town!  As mentioned, if this is you — make your plans early, leave plenty of time, and go all-out!  (And pay cash…you’ll both feel better about it the next day!)
– Gifts: Surprisingly, more men mentioned to me the desire for a gift!  A nice watch, electronics, or sports gear seemed to top the list.  However, more than one woman mentioned cash or a gift certificate to her favorite store or service.  (As far as gifts go, permission to splurge on oneself should not be overlooked!)
– Nature: Whether it’s a long walk, a beach day, a ski-day, or a lazy drive — the quiet of nature is a great place to get out and get connected to one another.
– Get-a-way: If it’s in the budget and wouldn’t cause additional stress — make plans to slip away for a weekend or even just an overnight for a little one-on-one time.  A snowy lodge, a flashy casino, or a quaint B&B might be just what you need to remember what brought you together in the first place!

The Sweet Stuff
– Conversation: Both men and women reported wanting to “really talk” with their significant others.  And as one young man said to me: “if I could have anything, I’d just want him listen to me.”
– Cuddling: Sorry guys…but top ‘o the ladies’ lists is a good cuddle!  I know you may not be able to understand it…but the ability of a man to selflessly provide affection can be very erotic!
– Sex: Sorry ladies…but the one thing your guy is really hoping for is that you still dig him.  If you really want to surprise your guy, let him know it!

Bonus
– Couple’s Challenge: One young man I asked told me that he would love for his partner to commit to a challenge with him!  Whether it’s to get in shape, quit a bad habit, build a new one, redecorate that spare office or basement, or plan for a vacation — some couples thrive on encouragement and teamwork!  Working together to achieve a goal can be a great way demonstrate your love and commitment throughout the year!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Valentine’s Day is February 14th!  Do you know what the love in your life REALLY wants?  Use this list to jump start the conversation!  Present him/her with a menu of options and have them circle their favorites.  You might even be able to team up to make sure you BOTH get a little of everything you want throughout the day.  The most important thing is to PLAN AHEAD!  Whatever your love wants — don’t leave it until the last minute.  And if it is reservations — please make them now, preferably for BEFORE or AFTER the 7:30p rush!  (And be sure to take care of your servers and bartenders, chances are it’s their Valentine’s Day too.)

Above all: Remember that Valentine’s Day is available every day — not just once a year!

[A big THANK YOU to all the brave souls who let me put them on the spot — and whose honest sharing made this post possible!]

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  And share your Valentine’s Day ideas in the comments!

PS: I realize that for some, Valentine’s Day may not be the happiest of holidays this year or ever.  Death, divorce, disagreements, or decline can bring about mixed emotions — or maybe you are just flying solo this year and aren’t happy about it.  If this is you, you are not alone.  Many people report similar feelings.  Their advice?  Seek refuge in the comfort of safe friends, the company of like-minded people, or in the things that you really want for yourself!  Or…throw a Quirky Alone Day or Galentine’s Day party for you and anyone else who wants to celebrate “romance, friendship, and the independent spirit” by putting a heart on all kinds of love: romantic, platonic, familial, and the best love of all…loving yourself!

2/8/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #229 – Spread the Love! (Happyness Celebrated with Sarah Harmeyer and Neighbor’s Table)

Greetings Tribe — and Happy Friday!

This week, I am so pleased to re-visit this Happyness in Action story! Back in 2015, I interviewed Sarah Harmeyer of Dallas, TX about her creation of Neighbor’s Table — a simple concept that gathers neighbors around a table to share a meal and get to know one another. Since then, she has personally placed over 200 of her hand-crafted tables in nearly half of the states in the US…with a goal of one table in every state by 2020. And just this week, she appeared on Good Morning America to share her story and talk about the power of community! Congratulations, Sarah — and keep growing!!!

Will your backyard be next?!

[Repost from Week #66 – Spread the Love! (Happyness in Action with Sarah Harmeyer)]

This week, I am so pleased to announce our fifth nomination for Happyness in Action: Sarah Harmeyer of Dallas, TX for her creation of Neighbor’s Table. Sarah took a simple concept and a sweet memory — and turned it into “A Love Mission” that has kept her (and her family) busy for over four years and just landed her table on HGTV’s “Nashville Flipped!” She is the “Chief People Gatherer” at Neighbor’s Table — a movement that encourages people to step outside their homes and get to know their neighbors, one table at a time!

And it all started in her own backyard!

Sarah shared her story with me: “The concept of Neighbor’s Table comes from my personal passion for gathering people and my desire to get to know my neighbors.  I asked my Dad to build a table big enough to seat 20. In 2012, I set a goal to serve 500 people at that table, one dinner party after another.  I did it that year, and have now gathered almost 2,000 people since.”

But why a table?

“I thought back to the very best moments in my life and it was always around the table.  It was around the kitchen, planning parties, celebrating other people.  In graduate school I even had a little cafe out of my house and it was the very best year of my life.  So, I started paying attention to when I came alive.  That’s when a friend helped me realize I was a people gatherer.”

So Sarah’s father built her a custom table.  “I had my first party in March of 2012 and I extended invitations to my neighborhood.  I invited them to step outside their home and meet neighbors, even if they’ve never done so.  To my surprise, 91 neighbors came that night — and the rest was history.”

The first goal: 500.

How did she go from 91 to 500 that first year?  “I told people my goal of 500 people that year and when people know about your goal they ask you about it.  On Thanksgiving Day 2012, the 500th guest walked down my driveway.  There was clapping, cheers, photos and video.  We did it, it became OUR table, not just my table.”  Since then, Sarah reports that almost 2000 people have celebrated at the original Neighbor’s Table.

But Sarah didn’t stop there.  “A couple of years ago I asked my Dad if he’d be willing to build tables for other people.  I got to thinking it would be really fun to cheer people on to love their neighbors and to start their own love mission in their community.”  I asked Sarah about the first table they built after their own.  “The first table we built, after the original, was delivered to a college student in Waco, TX as a surprise from her parents.  We delivered it on October 19, 2013.”

And now?

“We have been building tables from our family barn and delivering them all over the country.  We want to see ordinary people loving extraordinarily around the table.”  There are Neighbor’s Tables currently in 10 states (updated to 23 at the time of this re-post) — with a goal of having tables in backyards in every state in the US by 2020!  “The power of community that now regularly gathers at the original Neighbor’s Table has spurred a desire to launch a movement — a love mission, if you will.”

I asked Sarah what Happyness means to her: “Happiness is gathering friends and strangers alike around the table and figuring out ways the entire time on how to love them.  Happiness is cheering others to love.  Happiness is doing the thing that God has made you to do.”

What about you, Happyness Tribe?  Are you ready to Spread the Love?

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: SPREAD THE LOVE! Do you want to get to know your neighbors? If so, host a gathering — and “love someone to the left or right of you!” It doesn’t have to be a fancy sit-down dinner…it could be dessert, cocktails, game night, or appetizers before or after the Big Game this Sunday. If you are longing for community — the community may start with you! Open your doors! Spread the Love!

“Make time for someone in your community. Look for ways to love those to the left and right of you.” (Sarah Harmeyer)

Spread Happyness — Spread the Love!  Get to know your neighbors this week — and tell me about it in the comments!

(Thanks, once again, to Sarah Harmeyer for welcoming me to her virtual table and allowing me to interview her back in 2015!  To learn more about Sarah and Neighbor’s Table, read inspiring stories, or find out how to get a custom handcrafted table for your own backyard — follow Neighbor’s Table on Instagram and Facebook, or sign up for emails or purchase at http://neighborstable.com.)

2/1/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #228 – Make Time for Play!

Greetings, All — and Happy Friday!!!

Today is the last Friday of this very first month of 2019.

How’s it going?

Are you keeping up with your intentions? Building new habits? Meeting your goals? Doing all-the-things you promised yourself you would do starting January first?

Most important…are you having fun yet?

You may have charged out of the gate with your head down determined to stay on track, stick to your schedule, and succeed at all cost (to yourself)…but if you are feeling a little grumpy or worn out just 25 days into the new year, you may have sacrificed something very basic:

Some good, old fashioned fun!

Unstructured play time isn’t just for kids…for adults with routines that run like clockwork and demands that never let up, it may be even more important to make time to do…(GASP!)…nothing!

Nothing of significance, that is…like cleaning the house, or walking the dog, or balancing the budget, or paying the bills, or making dinner, or picking up the kids. Oh how we love these high-return activities!

And then we veg out in front of the TV or Facebook for an hour (or more) because we just can’t bring ourselves to do one…more…thing.

But unstructured play time pays big dividends…it refreshes us, grounds us, and may even slow down time a little!

So schedule some play time…it’s not just for kids anymore!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: MAKE TIME TO PLAY!  It might not be every day…but look at your schedule and try to find some regular time in your week (or month) to play. If you’re not sure what to do…link arms with someone else in a similar situation and make a pact to schedule some play time together. Start small with just a few minutes or an hour of unstructured time and build from there (or build some before/after margin into an existing activity). Believe me, I know how difficult and uncomfortable it is to “do nothing” (that’s why I’m challenging myself to do the same)…but I also believe it’s totally worth it!

So…what do you do for fun?

Spread Happyness — and tell me about it in the comments!

1/25/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #227 – Spread Happyness: Phone a friend!

Happy Friday, Everyone!

We’re now halfway through January 2019 — and the holiday hubbub is officially over!

(That said…can I get an amen from anyone who still has their tree up, like me?!)

Maybe you’ve set some resolutions, goals, or intentions for the year. Maybe you’ve packed up and put away Christmas 2018. Maybe you are now in hibernation mode, counting the days until Spring…or Memorial Day…or the Summer Solstice.

Or maybe you’re just licking your wounds from too many obligations over the holidays.

The first few weeks of January are a popular time to clear out all that holiday and end-of-the-year clutter. But the post-holiday “winter” months (and I put it in quotes because I know not everyone is under a pretty blanket of fresh snow) are a great time to reconnect with your “very best-est” friends.

Because after weeks of expectations, obligations, and over-scheduling…it’s high time to refuel and put a little back in the tank.

In hospitality, I see it every day. Ladies are lunching, couples are reconnecting, and groups are getting back to their regularly scheduled meetings.

This is a great time to reconnect with your “tribe” (whomever that is).

So if you’re bummed that the holidays are over, or you’re feeling a little isolated or cabin-fevery, don’t go it alone! Phone a friend…and reconnect to your tribe!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: PHONE A FRIEND!  The post-holiday gap is a great time to reach out to people you may have missed during the holidays — or the ones you didn’t get to spend enough time with. Plan a post-holiday lunch, celebrate missed birthdays, help each other take down those holiday decorations (Anyone? Anyone?), or get out of the house for a long, linger-y lunch or late afternoon coffee. Bonus points for helping each other set goals, build dreams, or make plans for the year ahead! 😉

1/18/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #226 – Spread Happyness: PLAN AHEAD! (And USE those calendars!)

Happy Friday, Everyone!

Today is Friday, January 11th — and this is your annual reminder to unwrap and USE those cutesy calendars you received over the holidays!

By now, I hope you’ve had the chance to process and celebrate the year we just completed — and set some new goals or visions for the new year ahead.  (If not, click back to Week #224 and Week #225 for some ideas about how to do that.)

• Maybe you’ve picked your ONE WORD.
• Maybe you’ve completed an end-of-year review.
• Maybe you’ve taken a life-satisfaction assessment to see where you’re at — and where you need to grow.
• Maybe you’ve set some SMART goals — and you made them even SMART-ER by considering the WHY behind your WHAT.
• Maybe you’ve set up a daily tracking chart like Jerry Seinfeld’s “Don’t Break the Chain.”
• Maybe you have cleaned your slate for January and are focusing on “Big Rocks First.”

What next?

What do we do with all those goals, dreams, visions, aspirations, and insight?

Plan them!

It is well-documented that planning ahead is directly related to happiness. And not only that — scheduling your goals and commitments increases the chances that you will actually follow through with them.

There’s a lot of discussion about the virtues of paper calendars versus digital calendars.  Digital calendars have great portability and a low profile — but rarely are they in your face.  A password, and then one, two, maybe three clicks — not to mention competition with all those other apps once you’re unlocked.  They just don’t give you much information at a glance — or much time to really plan ahead.

A paper calendar, hanging on the wall by your bathroom sink or on your refrigerator in the kitchen, may not be all that high tech — but it is certainly high-profile.  It also gives you (and whomever you are sharing it with) time to ponder, compare, contribute, discuss, and yes — even plan ahead!

And many people are boosting their outlook by using FULL-YEAR wall calendars to track all the major events, holidays, appointments, and deadlines that are already set by the time we turn the calendar to January 1st — not to mention their personal goals and commitments.

I’ve long been a 90-day outlook-er myself: three months seems focused, manageable, and it fits nicely with the seasons…but this year I’m trying a full year calendar. I have to admit, it’s a little intimidating. Three years after a series of major life changes (a job loss, a death in the family, and then a cross-country move)…I finally feel like I’m able to look up a little bit. But I do so carefully, because I know that anything can happen. Still…a full year’s calendar reaffirms that time is moving, the year will pass, and I may as well try to make the most of it from where I stand today!

Why not try it?

There is an old proverb: “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is the tree of life.”  (Proverbs 13:13)  Don’t allow your daily or weekly schedule to rob you of the joy of planning ahead!  Start plotting your year today!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: PLAN AHEAD!  Perhaps someone gave you a cutesy calendar during the holidays — or you grabbed a freebie at your bank or pizza place without really thinking about where or how you’d use it.  I challenge you this week to HANG IT UP!  If you don’t like the pictures, tear out the calendar pages and arrange them in months, quarters — or the entire year at a glance.  Then open your personal daily planners, pull together all those school and activity calendars, queue up Google to search holiday dates — and start plotting your year!

• Start with the big holidays and three-day weekends, birthdays, and major events (like weddings, graduations, important anniversaries).
• I also like to mark the solstices/equinoxes, full moons, and time changes.
• Then move on to some of your goals.  Are you running a marathon?  Writing a book?  Growing a business?  Saving for a house?  Planning a vacation or next year’s holiday travel?  Start plotting your desires on the calendar by asking: where and when will this take place?

Spread Happyness — PLAN AHEAD!  Share your favorite calendar tips — but most important, share your calendars with the ones you love!

1/11/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #225 – Goals, Resolutions, Reviews, and Habits (Are you wading out or plunging into 2019?)

Happy New Year, Tribe — and Happy First Friday of 2019!!!

As I mentioned last week, I hope you made some time over the holidays to look back at 2018 and CELEBRATE the things that went right.

And, I hope you have a plan in place to keep track of the good stuff that will come your way in the year ahead. Because we are on our way!

I just returned to Los Angeles after a quick trip home between Christmas and New Year’s — and back to a calendar that hasn’t even flipped to 2019 yet! (And an email-box full of sales pitches and programs for making the most of the year ahead!)

DELETE, DELETE, DELETE! I don’t know about you…but I’m barely unpacked, let alone un-Christmased! I may have missed the plunge, but if you’re a little behind too — join me this week as I wade out into the first week of 2019 using some of my favorite tools:

YOUR “ONE WORD” — A few years ago I ran across a little red book called The ONE WORD That Will Change Your Life. The gist is this: while contemplating the year ahead — and working through a few questions (in the PDF on the website: www.getoneword.com) — you come up with ONE WORD that encapsulates what you want the year to mean to you. Then, you make a plan to keep it front and center to live out daily. What ONE WORD would you like to make your focus for 2019?

YEAR-END REVIEW — David Allen (author of Getting Things Done) offers a series of “Year-End Review” questions on his website (and, more recently, in a podcast episode) that prompt you to “complete and remember” the year behind — and “create” the year ahead. (The links are from previous years so just modify the years to 2018/2019.) You can move through this list quickly with first thoughts — or spend lots of time really unpacking things. What would you like to create for yourself in 2019?

CLEAN SWEEP — Another favorite is the “Clean Sweep Assessment” — a more mathematical measurement of personal satisfaction in four key areas of our lives: physical environment, personal well-being, money, and relationships. How do you tally up?

GOAL SETTING — There is always traditional goal-setting — take a dream and use the “SMART” acronym to break it down into: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound action steps. Just remember to put a little WHY behind your WHAT — and consider an even SMART-ER approach by adding EMOTION and RESULT to the mix by asking WHY? (“So that I can FEEL…” and “So that I can achieve/accomplish/acquire/arrive at/accept…etc.”)

FIRST 90 DAYS — A dear friend turned me on to the idea of quarterly goal setting/reviews when I first made the move to Los Angeles, and it seems to be the thing more recently. Rather than set goals for the entire year — especially when we’re uncertain about what an entire year will bring — set short-term goals for the next 30/60/90 days and reassess at regular intervals.

BIG ROCKS FIRST — This is an idea that resonated with me this year as I am committing to making more space for new things to come into my life. We’ve all heard the story of the teacher who challenges his/her class to fill a jar to maximum capacity using rocks, sand, and water. The best strategy, of course, is to put the big rocks in first. I’m starting January by just putting the biggest, most important rocks into my schedule — and adding as I go.

HABITS — And for all you compulsive types trying to build a daily habit — check out Jerry Seinfeld’s excuse-busting “Don’t Break the Chain” method! It’s not just for writers!

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: If you haven’t done so already, take some time this week to reflect on the year past — and to think about the year ahead. What are your goals, dreams, aspirations, and visions? Where do you want to be next year this time? How are you going to measure your success? What are your big rocks? And what is your WHY?

If you have a favorite reflection or goal-setting tool that you use, please share it with me in the comments or via email. And if there is some way that I can help you set a goal that will Spread Happyness to you or someone you love in 2019, please let me know that too!

Spread Happyness — share your dreams, goals, aspirations, or favorite tools in the comments! And best wishes for good health and abundant Happyness in 2019!!!

1/4/19 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

[Editor’s Note: Re-post Alert — because celebrating is never a bad idea!]

Week #224 – CELEBRATE!

For many people…2018 was another challenging year. Health issues, death, divorce, job changes, financial problems, stressful news cycles…the list goes on and on.

Believe me…I know how it feels to want to kick an entire year to the curb.

The end of the calendar year seems to be a natural time to look back and reflect on the highs, the lows, what happened, what went wrong, and how we can fix it in the new year ahead.

This is exactly why in January, I challenge everyone to look forward into 2018 — and start keeping track of the good stuff.

Because it’s hard to love your life when it’s so easy to look back and come up with all the bad things that happened. We have to, as Rob’s friend Rob Nicholson said in a Facebook post at the end of 2014:

“Keep moving forward and celebrate and revel in what we have!”

So I challenged you at the beginning of this year to, once again, look ahead…WAY ahead.

To December 31st of 2018.

By the way…that’s Monday!

And I asked — Where do you want to be next year at this time?

Do you remember your answer? If not, don’t feel bad. Because I said at that time that I knew one thing for sure — It would take REMINDERS.

If you were one of the ones that kept track of your achievements, high points, and happy moments — please remember to SHARE and CELEBRATE them with the ones you love!

If you didn’t keep track, don’t worry. Take some time this week to go back through your calendar, your emails, your phone — whatever it takes to come up with enough reminders of all that you accomplished and did right this year!

Because I promise you…you did! And there is probably a lot to CELEBRATE!

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: CELEBRATE the completion of another year — and another trip around the sun! SHARE your successes with others — and ENCOURAGE others to do the same! There will be plenty of time to look ahead and set new goals, focus on new targets, and dream new dreams for the year ahead. For this weekend — look back, and find things to LOVE about 2018!

Bonus Challenge: Don’t count on yourself to remember everything about the new year going forward! Make a plan to curate the wins just as much as the losses so that you have a complete inventory come December 31st of 2019. Come up with a system for recording your achievements, successes, highlights, and otherwise happy times THROUGHOUT the new year! The most obvious way is to keep a dated list — in a journal, on your computer, via email, or on your phone — where you take time each day to review your activities and take note of anything special or significant. I keep a running list by date and habitually recount the day’s activities. To be honest, most days it’s pretty mundane — but the habit assures that when something notable happens I’m going to capture and remember it. Here are some other ideas from last year’s post:

Gratitude Tree — write what you’re grateful for on little shapes and fill an inside tree or wall mural up throughout the year (works in classrooms, too!).

Photo-journal — use cell-phone photos in a specific file or on Instagram to keep track of accomplishments. Or print them out to create a physical album you can flip through.

The Joy Jar or Happyness Jar! The idea is simple: you start on January 1st with an empty jar in a prominent location in your home — and you start dropping notes in it throughout the year about things that went well, things that make you happy, things you’re grateful for, achieved, or accomplished. At the end of the year you have a personal collection of happy memories to review — or immediate access throughout the year when you need a lift to face a challenge! One woman even collaged them on a monthly basis as a type of word-cloud to record as a journal.

The possibilities are endless — but the idea is always the same: make it a point to collect the good stuff! Because we need more of that. More focus on the wins. More focus on what’s right. More focus on loving our lives — so that we can live our lives more fully.

Spread Happyness — love your life, THIS year AND next! (CELEBRATE and ENCOURAGE others to do the same!)

12/28/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #223 – Have a “Happy Heart-mas!”

Greetings Happyness Tribe — Happy Holidays, Blessed Solstice, and Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas arrives next week! (And…we’re throwing in a full moon just for good measure!)

Many of you know I have been keeping up with my own “Gratitude Challenge” in the 33 days leading up to Christmas Eve. (And, I’ll be “Going for 40” through New Year’s Day!)  It’s a way for me to ensure I’m keeping my own heart happy during one of the most stressful times of the year.

As I wrote during the first Gratitude Challenge (Week #119), keeping focused on finding one thing a day to be grateful for actually primes me for keeping an eye out ALL DAY for the things that I appreciate, the things that are going well, and the things that make my heart happy.

Whatever holidays you are celebrating, we’re about to enter one of the most stressful weeks of the year.  If you are grieving a loss, a relocation, or a big life change — it may be even more stressful than usual. Before you focus on trying to make others happy (or expecting others to magically return the favor) — take some time to figure out what makes YOUR own heart happy!

Which reminded me of this challenge from Week #14 — just a few weeks after Rob passed:

Your Happyness Challenge for the week ahead: Have a “Happy Heart-mas!”  It will be easy to focus on the things that go wrong this holiday week. Instead, pay attention to what makes your heart happy!  It may be as simple as your silly niece or nephew (or cat or dog), words to an old song that take you back, an irreverent or inappropriate joke you can share only with dear friend, or a quiet star-lit night…or maybe it’s a bigger challenge like limiting your time to only people you enjoy, getting that extra sleep your body is craving, or saying no to something you honestly don’t want to do.  Take note of the moments when you feel your heart lift and your body relax.  Keep a list of what makes you happy…and check it.  Twice! (And then do more of THAT!)

It may be the difference between naughty and nice this holiday week!

Spread Happyness — tell me, what makes YOUR heart happy?

I wish each and every one of you a “Happy Heart-mas!”

12/21/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

Week #222 – Three Weeks to Happyness: Permission to “Take a Pass.”

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

I was going to re-post one of my favorite Happyness Spreader posts this week — encouraging you to open your door to a neighbor this holiday and “love those to the right and left of you.”

(You can re-visit that post here, where I talk with Sarah Harmeyer about her Neighbor’s Table project.)

But you know what?  It dawned on me that that there are a whole lot of you right now who couldn’t possibly add one more thing to your list this week.

And so, I want to encourage you to take a pass.  Cross something off your list — not because it’s done, but because it’s not going to get done. (Or maybe because you didn’t really want to do it anyway.)

This is a big act of rebellion — especially for us “old reliables” who always seem to meet the deadline, show up, or fulfill the obligation even when we don’t want to.

It can be scary — because if we aren’t someone that people can count on, then who are we?

The answer: Big-Hearted, Well-Intended, Happyness Spreaders — who need to take a pass this week!  😉

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: TAKE A PASS!  Consider this permission to say no, play hookie, skip that thing, call and cancel (well ahead of time of course, with regrets).  Bonus points for being okay with someone else who is doing the same!!!  As I heard someone say recently, “disappointment isn’t deadly.” It’s uncomfortable — yes. But so is over-extending ourselves to the point of exhaustion.   

(I’ll be joining you by NOT writing a long post this week!)

Spread Happyness — “Take a Pass” this week!  (And let me know how you do!)

12/14/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

3,000…and Still Counting! (Used with permission: Renee Eisman)

Week #221 – Happyness: It’s in the Mail!  (3,000 Smiles and STILL Counting…with Renee Eisman)

Greetings Happyness Tribe!

Always pleased to re-visit a Happyness in Action story — and this week I’m especially excited to follow-up on Renee Eisman’s 2018 goal of sending 2,700 cards to seniors this year alone.

Here’s a hint: She didn’t meet it…SHE BLEW PAST IT!!! 

During 2016’s Ten Weeks to Happyness, I shined a spotlight on Hopatcong, NJ native Renee Eisman — who is the Mail Program Manager for Bring Smiles to Seniors.  “Bring Smiles” is a non-profit in Odessa, FL that works with schools and organizations to decorate cards for seniors that are in nursing homes, assisted living facilities, and homebound.

Their motto is “One card, one smile at a time.”

In 2017 they sent over 18,810 cards.  Renee was responsible for more than 2,435 of those!!!  That’s almost 40 cards a week!

This year, despite concern in January about being able to meet demand for their goal of 20,000 cards in 2018, Bring Smiles has sent OVER 35,000 cards to-date in over 200 senior communities across all 50 states!

Let me repeat that:
– OVER 35,000 cards sent
– to OVER 200 senior communities
– ACROSS all 50 STATES!!!

That’s a lot of smiles!!!

This week I followed up with Renee to get an update on her story and found out that she sent her 3,000th card for 2018…THAT VERY SAME DAY!

(That’s more than 5,000 cards since she got started.)

Here’s an update on her story:

Renee’s story began about five years ago now — when she first moved to Florida.  “I fell and hit my head two months after relocating.”  Renee suffered a subdural hematoma (bleeding of the brain).  Surgery and recovery followed.  “I never really had the chance to look for work.”

So Renee started mailing cards and letters to friends and family — to pass the time.

It wasn’t too soon after that Renee crossed paths with Ron Tyson (founder of Bring Smiles to Seniors) and joined the Bring Smiles team, working up to sending 150/200 cards per month in 2017…and up to 250 cards per month in 2018 to not only meet but exceed her goal for this year!

[Visit my original post here to learn the full story about how Renee got started!]

But Renee’s mailbox isn’t just a one-way street!  We chatted via Messenger about what 2018 has brought TO her:

“I took on two elderly pen pals this year. One in his own home in Rhode Island (he is 86) and a 70-year-old woman in nursing facility in Florida. My biggest challenge this year has been trying to keep up with reply mail while still sending from my regular list!”

Bring Smiles was also nominated for Ellen & Cheerios’ “One Million Acts of Good” Campaign!
https://www.ellentube.com/cheerios/community/making-seniors-smile.html  (“Vote often,” says Renee!)

And the biggest highlight of 2018 may have been going to Florida to meet the other Bring Smiles volunteers and be there with its founder, Ron Tyson, who received the Tampa
Bay Lightning Community Hero Award.

“All of us volunteers had never met and it was first time we were all together with Ron. Hopefully, it won’t be the last time.”

BSTS Volunteers with founder Ron Tyson (Used with permission: Renee Eisman)

Renee just went back to working full-time in November…but she isn’t going to let that stop her!  “I’m hoping to reach out to local schools this year, to get help filling out and decorating cards to keep up with my mailings.”

Bring Smiles operates 100% on donations for all expenses and supplies so if you are interested in donating cards, postage, or supplies — or decorating and sending cards by yourself or with your group/organization — here’s everything you need to know:

Your Happyness Challenge for the Week Ahead: BRING SMILES TO SENIORS!  Visit “Bring Smiles to Seniors” on the Web or on Facebook to find out how you can send supplies or support their mission to send “Happy Mail” to seniors, shut-ins, or children in need.  Look for the pinned post entitled “HOW TO PARTICIPATE” — or reach out to Renee at the contact info below.  Above all, set your own goal of sending “HAPPY MAIL” in 2019 — and send smiles, “one card at a time!”

It’s been five years since the accident that started Renee on this journey.  I asked her what Happyness means to her THIS year:

“I’m grateful everyday to be alive and living life to the fullest!”

Spread Happyness — send a smile!  BRING SMILES TO SENIORS!

(And if you or someone you know is hosting their own local charity event or fundraiser that Spreads Happyness directly to those who need it — please let me know!  I’d love to feature them on the blog!)

12/7/18 by Grace Church
© Grace Church
grace@spreadhappyness.com

(PS: Special thanks once again to Renee Eisman for taking the time to share her story for my original post and update me this week!  To learn more about Bring Smiles to Seniors, visit them on the web at www.bringsmilestoseniors.com — or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/bringsmilestoseniors — or contact Renee directly at bringsmiles@outlook.com.)